and suddenly time flew by and now i'm turning nineteen, which is really weird, because yesterday i was logging on to my online classes after spending all night on the internet. this morning i brew my coffee and walked to school, walking through the halls that saw me grow up, recieving my diploma and setting off to the "real world". i'm nineteen now, i'm doing a degree i don't even know i like or has a future in the dystopian world we're living in. i'm nineteen now, and i'm so young yet i know i'll blink twice and suddenly i'll be graduating college and moving out of my childhood home to search for new horizons where i'll be ignored for being young, and ignorant and for being a woman. i'll struggle with debt and get married and worry about the future of the planet, i'll get suffocated under the weight of adulthood and late-stage capitalism and i'll look at all my dreams once more through the window before pulling down the curtains. and when night falls and my feet feel heavy and sore i'll think about her.
i'll hold her hand tightly, and i'll think of her, and her voice will become a whisper of my childhood and teenage years. my memories will become hazy, i'll think of my now dead parents and i'll cry, and then i'll weep for every single little thing i've ever lost. my childhood dog, the city i grew up in, my dead relatives, my old school, i'll cry until my eyes become empty shells and it's just too much.
i'm nineteen now, and i still have an entire life ahead of me. i'm nineteen now and there's so much to see and new cities to experience, exotic food to taste, new people to meet, books that will never be written and my entire life to look forward to. this is only the beginning, what lies ahead will take a little longer.