*sneaks some Haninan fic for @scurvgirl‘s new Miss Honey AU onto the pile and flees*
Haninan is thinking about Kassaran’s recent venting on the subject of bad fathers, when one of his students - Venavismi - accidentally spills a carton of pencil crayons across the classroom floor during the middle of art time.
Haninan heads over, of course, as Vena drops to the floor and starts picking up scattered pencils.
“I’m sorry!” the boy says. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”
Something about the way Vena apologizes always makes Haninan worry. Most of the time, Venavismi is the sort of child who would prefer to joke and lighten the mood. But every once in a while, when he gets tired, he starts apologizing, and there’s always a frantic edge to it that makes it clear he expects some kind of disproportionate retribution to rain down on him. An edge that lends itself very readily to tears, which only seem to provoke more apologies.
Vena’s parents are the wealthiest that Haninan regularly deals with, apart from his own wife, of course. Ireth doesn’t know much about them, herself, except that they run in different circles. The last conference, Haninan talked to them about Vena’s extra curricular activities, because he’s been worried for a while now that the poor child has too many. He has the same piano teacher as June, and he’s in gymnastics, and one of the elven language classes, and beginner’s fencing. Haninan’s pretty sure he’s in more, too, given some things he’s overheard, but Vena’s parents are very… adamant that he’s only ‘meeting his potential’ and not being over-extended.
Bad parents come in all shapes and sizes, Haninan has learned. Violence and neglect are by no means easy to deal with, but at least they have answers - even when those answers are difficult to actual reach. There’s very little anyone can do about parents who veer too strongly in the opposite direction, though.
“It’s alright, Vena,” he assures the boy, reaching down to ruffle his hair and, when that gets a little sigh of relief, plucking him up to put him back in his seat. “This isn’t too big of a mess, really. I’ll take care of it while you get back to your drawing.”
He glances at the paper and sees that Vena was in the middle of filling in a blue sky, and picks up the blue pencil crayon, first, to give to him. Vena clutches it with a look of concern on his face for a moment, before he calms down enough to manage a smile.
“Okay,” he agrees. “Sorry, Mister Haninan!”
“Apology accepted. It was an accident, after all,” Haninan assures him, before easily scooping up the rest of the pencil crayons. Fitting them back into their box is only slightly more challenging, but he manages it. He’s had a lot of practice; June enjoys drawing, but cleaning up after himself is an entirely different matter.
Class manages to get all the way to the end of the drawing period without anything more dramatic than Vena’s spilled pencil crayons, which Haninan counts as an overall win. There’s a bit of a struggle during Quiet Reading Time, when Ash gets impatient with her book and starts whispering with her seatmate, but Haninan is expecting it and comes over to help her go through a few passages and get her to settle down again. To her credit, Ash doesn’t try and get out of her seat this time, or ask to go to the bathroom again.
When the day ends, Haninan gives his students their preferred high-fives or hugs, as the parents come to get them. Vena gives him his drawing from art time as a present, which Haninan enthuses over before he puts it in the special folder in his desk. Ash and June hang out with him and help clean up the classroom - when they’re aren’t busy chasing one another around the desks - until Kassaran arrives, with her usual bevy of thanks and apologies. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times Haninan has assured her it’s no trouble. His post-class wrap-up always takes longer than hers, if only because he has June for it, too.
When Ash and her mother are gone, though, it’s time for Haninan and June to head home as well.
“Papae?” June asks him, halfway back to the house.
“Hm?” Haninan replies.
“Are fathers different from papaes?”
Haninan blinks, and wonders if he’s been neglecting his son’s word comprehension lately.
“No,” he says. “Father and papae are different words for the same thing. What makes you ask?”
He glances at his son in the rearview mirror. June shifts in his safety seat, and shrugs.
“It just seems different,” he says. “Ash says her father wasn’t like you, but she didn’t want to talk about it. And I overheard her mama saying something about bad fathers. And Vena calls his papae ‘father’ and I remember he said his father doesn’t play puzzles with him, so I was just wondering if there was a difference.”
Haninan sighs.
“Not really,” he admits. “Their fathers are just different people from me, June-bug. So they treat their children differently, too.”
June nods, and seems satisfied with that explanation. Haninan supposes the discussion is done with, and when they pull into the driveway it’s right after Ireth seems to have just done the same. So June hurries out of the car and goes racing off to her, giggling as she beams at him and scoops him up, and spins him around.
“Did you have a good day, sweetheart?” she asks him.
“Wellll, yes and no,” June tells her, and then he’s off, listing the ‘good’ (got to read out loud to the class at the end of Quiet Reading Time today) and the ‘bad’ (didn’t get to use the monkey bars at recess because some of the other kids were playing Fortress on them). Haninan scoops up his bag from the backseat and wanders over a more leisurely pace, feeling the familiar swell of affection in his breast at the sight of his wife and son. He moves in to interrupt June so that he can steal a kiss, though. Which his son huffs at, until Haninan turns and starts peppering kisses on his own cheeks, too.
“Ew, Papae, no!” he protests, laughing and squirming. “Go back to kissing Mamae.” So saying, he plants a hand on Haninan’s cheek, and pointedly turns his face back towards Ireth.
“Well, if you insist,” Haninan jokes, before leaning in and doing just that. June makes more protests and squirms until Ireth puts him down. She smiles against Haninan’s lips, and, with her arms free, settles them over his shoulders, before giving him a proper full-on kiss.
“We probably shouldn’t make-out in the driveway,” she tells him.
“As if our neighbours haven’t seen it all by now,” he scoffs, which gets an amused snort from her, before she finally lets him go. June is at the front door, rolling his eyes and looking so exaggeratedly impatient that Haninan wishes he could take a picture. His phone’s in his bag, though, and by the time he’s got it unzipped, Ireth has taken pity on their poor child and is letting him into the house.
“I want peanut butter cups for my snack!” June announces, dashing inside.
“Oh woe is me,” Haninan gripes, lurching his own way through the door and making a show of lugging June’s bag as if it carries a hundred pounds. “I guess I’ll just make my own way, here, carrying everything. If only I had a son who could help me. Alas, alas…”
His theatrics earn an aggravated sigh, as June reluctantly turns and heads back towards him, and gives him a very Ireth-esque look before taking his bag.
“My hero,” Haninan praises.
June gives his mother a beseeching look. She just shrugs at him, though.
“Go put your bag away, and I’ll see if we have any peanut butter cups,” she instructs.
“It’s not even heavy,” June says, but does as told, kicking off his shoes and then rolling his eyes again when Haninan reminds him to put them where they go, please and thank you. He settles his own bag by the door, while Ireth kicks off her shoes in a near-perfect imitation of their son. Haninan raises his eyebrows at her, and she sheepishly puts them on the rack, too.
“I still can’t believe I’m the tidy one in this family,” he muses, ruefully.
“Organized, not tidy. I’ve seen you cook,” Ireth reminds him. “And dress. And who still has a fifty-billion piece puzzle taking up the better part of the dining room, hm?”
“June does,” Haninan shamelessly insists. Which is half true, considering that they’ve been assembling it together. It’s been slower going than he expected, though, since June keeps getting frustrated, and then they have to stop. Not that he minds it - June seems to mind it more than he does - but… well, anyway. They’ll get it done, and then they can seal it and put it on June’s wall, just as Haninan promised.
“MY BAG IS AWAY!” June announces, before pelting into the living room to turn on the television.
“Two shows, then you have to start homework!” Haninan reminds him.
“Choose wisely, my son! I’ll get your snack,” Ireth adds.
“Are you sure? I can get it for him,” Haninan offers, eyeing the work clothes that he knows his wife hates. Ireth just waves it off, though.
“I want to,” she assures him.
With a nod of acceptance, Haninan veers his way up to their bedroom, and sets about changing his own clothes. He pulls on a comfortable sweater and exchanges his trousers for leggings, letting out a breath as he gets his socks off, and then wriggling his toes in the carpet a little. He heads for the bathroom to wash up, and hears the distinctive theme song of one of June’s favourite shows drift up from the floor below.
As he runs the water, though, his thoughts sink a little as they drift towards the subject of Ashokara’s father.
Haninan knows the patterns that can often lead people to become monsters. Parenting can be stressful, and thankless, and demands endless patience, and he’s intimately aware of that even as he loves it beyond measure. But for people who don’t have that drive? That love for being a parent, for looking after their child? He can see where it brings out the worst of them. Especially when they have no tools to cope well with even adult relationships.
Most of the time, he’s noticed, it’s about control. Abused children are often well-behaved children - until they aren’t. They’re frightened into obedience, neglected into maturity, starved into desperation for approval and dreadfully aware of their own vulnerability. And when they no longer have to be afraid, it’s always an adjustment for them to figure out where the boundaries of their world should even be. He’d noticed the signs with Ashokara, when she first came to his class. The way she would always hesitate when he asked her a question, as if she was trying to figure out what he wanted her to answer with. How she would watch his hands whenever he was close by, as if she was nervous that he might suddenly try and grab her. The way she froze up the first time he clapped to get the class’ attention.
Kassaran had talked to him after class on that first day. Which was difficult for her, Haninan knew. She was ashamed - not of her daughter, not at all, but of the fact that her daughter had come to harm. And of having to explain some of what she herself had gone through, in order to explain what Ash was struggling with.
Haninan hadn’t pried any more than was strictly required.
They were getting away from it. And now, it’s rearing up again. A pattern that threatens to become a cycle, if it isn’t adequately broken. Haninan has every faith in Kass and Ash’s ability to push through a lot of hard things, but that doesn’t mean he wants to see them do it. Or stand idly by while it happens, either.
He might understand the patterns, but he’ll never excuse someone who mistreats their child.
The tap is still running when Ireth comes into the room. He watches through the mirror, and the open crack of the door, as she changes into a loose green dress, and then flops onto the end of the bed.
“I’m on call,” she informs him, raising her voice a little until he turns off the tap. She pats her phone demonstrably, and then shoves it into one of her dress pockets.
Haninan shuffles his way back out of the bathroom, and then slumps onto the bed beside her.
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed that there are no emergencies, then,” he says.
Ireth reaches over, flailing a bit until she finds his cheek, and pats it.
“Helluva a day,” she says, letting out a gusty breath. “There was another chicken pox outbreak. Poor things.”
Haninan makes a sound of sympathetic agreement.
“What about you?” she asks him.
He hesitates, for a moment. But then, he’s never really been good at keeping anything for her, especially when he’s not even certain he should try.
“Ashokara’s father is suing for joint custody,” he says.
Ireth sits up.
“No,” she objects.
“Afraid so. Kassaran came in and told me the other day.” They probably would have talked about it then, but there’d been a ten car pile-up some time around three pm, and Ireth had been out late helping with the sudden emergency rush. So Haninan and June had made toasties and worked on the puzzle together, and by the time she’d managed to get home, she’d had her own work woes to spill and had been in sore need of a shoulder to cry on.
Which Haninan was more than happy to provide. On that thought he gives her another look-over now. But she seems to be bouncing back, and isnt’ giving the usual indications that she needs him to help. Her concern - verging on anger - looks like the normal kind, for this sort of situation.
“You tell Kassaran that if worse comes to worse and he actually gets it, I will personally help her hide the body,” she announces.
“I’ll be sure to pass that along, darling,” Haninan replies. “But the main concern for right now is that Ash is going to have to explain to a judge why she doesn’t want to live with her father.”
Ireth frowns, and glares at the ceiling for a good long moment.
“...Well what if we kill him before that?” she suggests.
He sighs.
“Ireth, beloved, light of my life, you don’t even kill spiders when they get in through the bathroom drain,” he points out. Not that Haninan kills them, either. But still. They are not exactly murderous folk. He still remembers the first time June went over to a friend’s sleepover and called for Ireth to come get him, because one of the parents had killed a moth that came in through the window, and June was convinced that the man had to be some kind of secret killer ‘like on television’.
“Spiders don’t abuse people,” Ireth retorts, folding her arms.
But after a moment, she gives in, and just slumps back down against him.
“Poor Ash and Kass,” she murmurs.
“I know,” he agrees, with a sigh of his own.
“We should do something.”
“We should.”
"...Do you think they’d like a fruit basket?” she ventures, tentatively. “Or maybe one of those fresh farm hampers? I can’t imagine Kass will feel like preparing a lot of meals while she’s dealing with all of this.”
“Couldn’t hurt,” Haninan reasons. He plans on doing his best to help Ash in her classes, to give some extra attention and support. But still. Sometimes it’s good to have a friend’s spouse who absolutely insists on sending fancy gift baskets, which she has no idea of the actual material worth of, except that they be ‘good’. He still remembers the look on Kassaran’s face the first time Ireth gave her a bottle of wine for the school district’s Feast Day party.
“I’m going to send them something,” Ireth decides. “It’ll be a good distraction anyway. Should I put who it’s from on the card? Yes, I should, I wouldn’t want them thinking it’s from Quarth or whatever his name is.”
“Qal, I think.”
“Do you still have that card catalogue with everyone’s food allergies in it?” Ireth asks him, barely listening now as she gets up with a mission in mind.
“In the study,” he confirms.
She pads off towards it, while Haninan decides to remain on the bed, and chase the patterns in the ceiling with his eyes. They form a pleasant latticework that makes him think of beehives, and the strength of hexagonal structures. The children are going to do a unit on bees later in the year. It’ll be fun, and it will give him the chance to include some information about architectural shapes. June is into pyramids right now, but Haninan’s fairly sure it won’t take much to get him interested in hexagons, too.
He’s chasing his thoughts down into matters of magical geometry when he hears soft feet pad into the bedroom. Lighter than Ireth’s. Haninan turns his head, and watches June climb up onto the bed. He slings his arm around his son as he settles in beside him.
“Whatcha doing?” June asks.
“Nothing much,” Haninan assures him. “You need something? I thought you were watching cartoons.”
June shrugs.
“I finished my snack, and then it was the clown show,” he explains. With the world-weariness of someone several times his age, he looks thoughtfully up at the ceiling. “I hate that show.”
Haninan snorts.
“It’s supposed to teach you math,” he says.
June makes a face.
“That’s what school is for,” he objects. “They moved my Superman show to dinner time instead. Can I still watch it if I do homework in between?”
He thinks about it.
“Sure,” he agrees.
June fist pumps, and then leans in and smooshes his face against Haninan’s side. The ominous sounds of the dreaded Clown Show drift up from downstairs. Haninan can admit, despite knowing what they’re angling for - it is kind of an awful show. Most of the other parents aren’t big fans, either, and he thinks one of Kass’ students had a round of nightmares about one of the clowns climbing out of the television and trying to strangle them.
“Papae?” June asks him, after a minute.
“Hm?”
“Parents don’t just… suddenly stop loving their kids, right? Like… that doesn’t happen, does it? Even if the kids are really bad or mess up a lot of stuff?”
Haninan shifts around a little to look down at his son, and feels his heart crack at the worried look on his face. He leans down and kisses his head. It doesn’t take a genius to see his line of reasoning. Learning about bad parents, about parents who mistreat their kids, also tends to come hand-in-hand with thinking that there might be something that kids could do, to make their parents become hateful or resentful of them.
“No,” he assures him, firmly. “That doesn’t happen. And it especially wouldn’t happen to you, June-o. Your mamae and I will love you forever, no matter what you do.”
June wrinkles his nose, but he also looks relieved.
“I wasn’t asking that,” he insists, at a mumble. “I was just checking in general.”
“Oh, okay,” Haninan allows. “But still. For the record. I’ll love you forever.”
June grumbles a bit about ‘mushy stuff’, but he also rests his head on Haninan’s chest, and relaxes a bit more as Haninan rubs at his back.
There’s no difference between being a father and being a papae. Haninan’s not always sure he’s doing the right thing, that he’s being a good parent, that he’s done enough to look after June or that he’s pushing things in the right direction. But he’s pretty sure that if he was messing it up too badly, Ireth would tell him. He’s not alone in this grand scheme.
Kassaran is.
That can’t be easy. With all of everything that’s gone on, he knows for a fact that it’s hard.
He makes a mental note to invite Kass over to dinner sometime soon, at least, and hugs his son a little tighter.