Squirmy liddle… feller…

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Squirmy liddle… feller…
so today I returned home from my university for summer vacation. as you could guess, it’s been a sort of an exhausting day of packing and driving. it’s nearing that time of night where i should be getting ready for bed but instead I’ve decided to read a few chapters of this book I started earlier in the quarter, but didn’t have time to finish. so I’m sitting on the living room floor reading, sipping on my second cup of coffee. Then my mom, whose sleep schedule is so complicated that she’s up and about throughout the majority of the night, comes walking in and asks me if I need anything else washed, to which I answer yes. Now in this moment, let me explain: I’m stretched out on the floor, one leg crossed over the other, my back against the living room sofa, and something comes over me. It arrives slowly, in that moment when I say to my mom, who’s the only other person awake in the house, Thank you. Thank you for washing my clothes. Thank you for washing TWO loads of my clothes, the ones that I neglected back at school but so selfishly brought back with me, saying to myself that I was going to wash them, me, knowing well that if I didn’t get to them as soon as possible, she was going to beat me to it because that’s just how she is, she likes things to be done with a quickness. I stare at my grey and pink socks. I listen to my mom shuffling around the house, grabbing more of my things, sliding the laundry room door open and resetting the washer. I stare at the carpet around me, the book in my hand. I notice the tiny heat waves that rose from my once hot cup of coffee have diminished and I want to cry, I want to cry so bad, it hurts. I’m finally home again after another long school year and I hadn’t realized until now, mow much I’ve missed this, how much I’ve missed all of this, everyone, everything..