Well, I wasn't the type who pays attention to explicitly sexual things, but I am indeed "sexually passionate" kind of person, to someone that I truly love of course. Right after I realized that I am gay 😴, I scrambled myself to know what really, specifically what Lesbianism is all about. I've wandered within the abyss of the internet ("world"..uhm is that the right term associated with it?) and I have reached to the point that those ideas aren't enough to know. And, so blahblahblah I'm bored to elaborate this thing up since I have considered myself as the "dusty femme" now hehe 😂✌. I have met someone from the dating site, and I couldn't even believe that she (yes! and proudly say she's bisexual) and I will be that so intimate couple upto now 😍😘 (I love you, Shie). Like how we started a conversation as strangely talkative one (I do mostly in writing, and she done it in phone calls and photo messages). and so on and so forth... I've never imagined to have, you know, sex in a first date or even a meet-up to be freakin' honest ✋. But she opened up about us getting into that situation, and I was really terrified. I was like "Hey, easy babe, we haven't really met personally to jump into that thing." But I haven't told her that I wasn't really that ready at that time. I calmed myself thinking that we will definitely not gonna get laid with our first meeting. And that day happened... We have agreed to checked in with the nearest hotel from our meeting place. And suddenly, for the very first time, as we hold our hands and saw each other, all of my thoughts about that washed away. While we still walking around at the middle of the night, I was thinking how I can please her though I haven't got an experience. When we finally got into the hotel room, I've got anxious again with that "I don't wanna get laid with our first meeting". I just wanna pretend that I will go to sleep and give her a nice cuddle and avoid the kissing. I think she really that determined to have it, that she hugged me so passionately and kissed straight into mine. I was so terrified but at the same time felt so fascinated.. and little that we knew, we've gone that farther that we thought it might be. I have no experience really before her, and she did have from her past relationships, especially with her first girlfriend. She did blurted me that I was the only one who did all of that to her, and how she wondered that I really am inexperienced. I would say, if I don't really love her, I either just stop that moment or refused to go along with her. That's the first time I realized that whatever my ideas are, whether it's sex or anything about relationships, I just do whatever I can to offer myself into someone I love. I know, that I didn't talk much about how I get really laid from her. Let's just say she always returned the favour, not as intense as I do to her, but I think that genuinely we share our affection and we truly love with each other. For every lovely whispers, to our undying confessions about our love, and how we nurture our relationship as days go by. One day, we will finally be together. I will wait until that time comes. And every single day, I'll definitely gonna feel the first time I've got laid with someone I truly and solely love.
