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I had crossed the line. I was free. But there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land. My home, after all, was down in Maryland, ‘cause my father and mother, brothers and sisters and friends was all there. But I was free. And they should be free. I believe that. I’d make a home in the North and bring 'em there, God helpin’ me. Oh, I prayed then. I said, “Lord, I’m-a hold steady on to you, and I know you’ll see me through.” I was goin’ back.
That thing I felt, that dust that wouldn't settle, he had it, too. Except he had a name for it. War. When he spoke it, he spoke it quiet, like a a prayer. And ain't that it? Ain't a prayer just a plea? A hope. A desire to believe there's somethin' better on the other side of it. And don't we all want better?
Except he had a name for it. War.
What if I can't make my momma run with me? She pretty settled in her ways. So was mine. She was meant to wait out her bondage. She was always telling us how we was term slaves. We be free at 45. When I was younger, I thought that made us special. The promise of freedom if you just work harder. That's how they get you. My brother believed in that. And when the lie was exposed, and she learnt she was meant to be a slave forever, by that time, well, it was too late for her to take the journey by foot. But I put her on a carriage up north anyway,
He already had. His son bled with Kansas. Died in the Pottawatomie massacre. So every time I thought on it, everything that confused me about him built my admiration for him. I only know two other men ready to sacrifice their sons: the prophet Abraham and the one who done ordered that sacrifice.
Maybe my time's best spent like I been spendin' it. Alone and sure-footed, doin' what I can do. Not tryin' to be somethin' I ain't, Lord.
If Captain Brown's prayer ain't yours, if you don't have it in you to take up arms against the injustice, then you got to pray another prayer. And you gotta walk in it with conviction. He will provide, but you gotta do your part. You gotta find what it means for you to be a soldier. Beat back those that are trying to kill everything good and right in the world, and call it making it great again.