mmmm I have nO idea what I’m doing
basically the school I thought I wanted to go to is way too expensive and i dont even really feel that passionate about the major i was considering (film and television) and yesterday my mom was like “when you explain things to your siblings you really light up and seem to enjoy it, maybe you could teach” so i checked that out at the school I went to before, but then my sister, who majored at that school in teaching, told me “you’re good at teaching, but I don’t think you’d be a good teacher, it’s a lot of extra stuff” and I kind of agree with her but at the same time it made me really sad?? idk I just.. I don’t have a Thing that I really care enough about to put work into or like spend a lot of time on, i literally went for film because my film teacher in high school liked me and said i was good, and I looked into math/science education because my mom noticed that I seemed good at it. I’d literally do anything anyone told me to do, i’m that big of a pushover. I just have absolutely no idea what I want to do about school, because I hate being out of it this semester, but I know if i went back i’d do nothing but complain about how much I hate it, and just dropping school and getting a job is horrifying because the idea of doing some mundane anything for hours on end makes me want to kms. the thought of being stuck in this capitalist hellscape no matter what I do is literally debilitating. I just need someone to pick something for me. pick a major and just like, enforce it for me. tell me what to do, someone please god.