Mason had to keep pinching himself in the hand to keep himself calm during this meeting. He wasn’t expecting this big of news when his activities for the day were cancelled, and he definitely didn’t expect for them to basically turn his life upside down in the best way possible. He took a deep breath to focus on the words being said and keeping eye contact with Hwang Ga-ram when he looked at Mason. Mason was already so excited when the meeting was “over” before being asked to stay back. Now he was also selected to be in the trailer to help promote the show? Had his work on improving his visuals actually paid off? Or was he just seen as a potential fan favorite? Or was it just luck? No matter the reason why, Mason was even more enthusiastic and determined to do well.
When they were finally released, Mason bowed deeply in thanks and left, making sure that the coast was clear before hopping up and down to get out some of his joyous energy. He let out some excited dance moves to random songs he knew the choreography to, some Beatbox, some One, some Lucifer, and some improv to link them all together. He then covered his mouth so he could scream, muffling the sound before turning and seeing he was no longer alone. He was worried for a second before realizing it was Jae. Phew, not one of the executives of the show; that could have looked bad.
He didn’t even think before sprinting over to his friend and throwing his arms around him. “Jae! We did it! We’re gonna be on the show! Ah!” He let out another excited yell before dissolving into laughter and pulling back. ‘Congrats, man! You’ve earned it!”
𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘, robby performs ❝ 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚. ❞
𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘, possible mention of various people.
𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙, written in roughly 𝟗𝟏𝟓 words.
it’s hard to reset after the events that just occurred, but robby tries his damnedest to get his head back in the game; taking a few steady deep breaths to slow his pounding heart. he can’t help but feel worried about his brother; slightly sick to his stomach about what this means for him. he’s crushed that jamie’s injury likely means that he’ll no longer be a candidate for début, at least in this group. this fucks up their whole plan, & as he’s prone to flare ups of anger as opposed to sadness, he feels heat rise to his face — silently scoffing at how jamie couldn’t just go through with the performance like everyone else. he just had to trip, & fall, & break a bone like the putz he is. breathing heavy, he remembers to focus on the air in his lungs & its patterns. robby tries not to be upset at his sibling. this wasn’t his fault, accidents happen, & he’s probably equally as heartbroken at the destruction of his chances. knowing that, robby’s livid that he can’t go & be by jamie’s side right now; that he can’t be there to offer his support while he’s getting patched up because he needs to stay & film. he still has himself to think about in terms of the competition, & as everyone gathers in their starting positions, he infuses the red-hot energy he feels into his limbs; knowing that he could use the adrenaline to pump up his dancing even more than usual.
as he sets the tone for the song, he waits at his mark, & when the first beat booms through the speakers, he leaps into action — his coveted footwork solo one that he practiced day-in-&-day-out to perfection. being trusted with that section of the song elated him so much, & the last thing he wants is to screw it up now that it really matters, because not only is this coming down to the wire for him personally, but now he feels like he has to kick even more ass for his brother — to make him proud.
keeping jamie in his mind as fuel, he adds seamless bounciness & groove to his small solo; ensuring that the camera is picking up each & every detailed motion of his feet. then, as the first formations are building, muscle memory kicks in & takes some of the edge off of his mind; his movements forcing him to break free from the worries spiraling about in his head so he can pay close attention to the task at hand. physical activity — dancing especially — continues to be a lifesaver for him, & there’s a sense of ease he feels as the stage progresses onward. certain moments feel awkward since they’re pushing forward with one less person, but overall, it seems like things are going as smoothly as they can. though, as his first vocal part approaches, he realizes that his cue lines were sung by jamie, & without him there, robby needs to pay extra close attention to the music; listening intently until he can hear when it’s time to start. as usual, singing is what he’s minimally nervous about, now more than ever since the lyrics are fully in japanese; a language he’s studying, but doesn’t feel comfortable with yet. thankfully though, he remembers all of the words he learned.
his voice works for this section as it’s rather high, & due to that, his intonation is great — improvements being made on other skills over the time he’s lived in south korea. it pleases him to know that working hard has taken him quite far in such a small period of time, & as he makes his way through the first chorus & the second verse, he finds himself smack-dab in the center of the formation for chorus number two; taking the stance seriously as he puts his own spin on the part that was first performed by jaeyoung. this time, he unveils his ( underdeveloped ) low range; adding his own speak-singing style to it so it’s easier for him to support the notes, the delicate rasp in his voice adding color — flavor. maybe it wasn’t as perfect as his first set of lines, but he isn’t too hard on himself. not all idols in the biz are impressive singers, after all.
robby’s self-aware enough to know that he’ll never be celebrated for anything other than dance, visuals, & showmanship, & he’s totally fine with that. there are other trainees in the lot that can cover the vocal work, the rapping, & even the composition of the songs. all he’s focused on is showing up & dancing — it’s as simple as that.
in what seems like the bat of an eyelash, he’s in his final pose; his chest rises & falls heavily due to his exerted efforts, the expression on his face is fierce & magnet, & the beads of sweat that have collected on his brow-line threaten to fall down the length of his cheeks, but he keeps poised so that they remain in place — hoping that what he did was more than enough to please those in control of the final lineup. for a brief second, he thinks about jamie, & hopes that he can rush to him after filming has commenced. robby cares about his success, but above all, he cares about his brother, & his health, more. despite everything else, jamie will always be paramount to him.
'chasing the scent of you'
self-para
mentions of @hdrobby & @hdsungho ❤︎
sebastian definitely considered himself lucky to have gotten so far. he knew compared tot he other trainees, he was way out of his depth when it came to this sort of musical genre. don't get him wrong, there was always time to enjoy something more pop-like, but his goal was never to be part of a group, but rather join a band; it was during times when they would practice in front of a huge mirror to get their movements perfectly precise and aesthetically pleasing that sebastian would pause and wonder just what exactly he was doing and playing at. clearly, he was out of his mind. dancing was something he did for fun, not because he had something to prove, and most of the time during the show his hands felt empty because they weren't holding his preferred instrument, touching his guitar or his piano.
he knew that in the back of his mind he was self-sabotaging, something he did when he felt nervous, anxiety building inside of him. imposter syndrome at times. he wondered if he actually deserved to be around so many people and if he should pack his bags and go back to focusing on songwriting. it was easy to fall back onto old habits, but he had friends this time around willing to keep him afloat.
vulnerability wasn't his strong suit, but only for a few small numbered of people would he allow his facade to melt away and show exactly just how he felt.
the worst was learning japanese. singing he could do. dancing, he wasn't horrible at, nor was he the best at. he was lucky he had robby around to correct him, gentle and patient as ever, he made sure his movements connected, and he looked aesthetically pleasing while doing it– 'what do you mean i need to dance on beat and look pretty doing it?' 'just copy what i'm doing, okay?' sebastian could be as stubborn as a mule when it came to things that didn't interest him, or simply things he refused to understand, but he supposed it was never a better time than the present to get his head out of his– anyways.
he was glad that they had someone helping them with japanese. though, sebastian knew that he would never be able to learn the language within such a short amount of time, never mind actually becoming fluent, accent still present when he spoke korean, he knew that it would be hopeless, but at least he could try to assimilate it as much as he could and try to make it sound good when he sang. it helped to have sungho around, made the tension in his shoulders lax as they stumbled around foreign words, trying their best to sound good. he didn't want to toot his own horn, but he found just the right way to manipulate his voice to make his accent come off as less thick, and more smooth.
so maybe the whole thing wasn't doomed from the start.
performance day arrived sooner than later, and sebastian felt nerves creep up on him as usual, but he forced himself to stay calm and collected. he was able to get in as much practice as possible, and when it came to his parts, he was able to show off his vocal skills and dance skills confidently; voice unwavering as he sung, and movements fluid, something he never really focused on or achieved on his own, he'd have to remind himself to bake his friends a whole cake for dealing with him for the last few weeks.
no matter what the judges say, he knew he did his best, and for the first time in a long while, he felt happy and proud.
Jamie's smile doesn't quite meet his eyes as he crouches beside the stream, running his fingers through the running water, eyes peeled for any small creatures he can befriend. Not far downstream, he can hear Taegyeom moving about, though he doesn't look over. He'd begged him to accompany him to the stream near their campsite, in hopes of cheering himself up by taking his mind of everything that had occurred recently. Not only had Jamie's... Haneul, been moved to the Underclass group, Mason had followed shortly after, leaving Jamie without his best friend and his... whatever Haneul was. While he had faith in both of them, and believed they'd soon be back with him, it was hard facing the possibility of not having them with him eventually. His dream had always been, since becoming a trainee, to debut with Mason. Facing the reality that that might not happen was tough.
"Find anything yet?" He calls out, sitting back on the grass and looking over at Taegyeom. "I could've sworn I saw a newt here the other day. He was too fast though, so I couldn't catch him." Jamie says through a pout, then lays back, his hair splaying out around his head as he stares up at the canopy above them, and the glimpses of blue sky between the leaves. "Do you think I'm too dependent on other people?" He asks after a moment of silence, voicing a fear that had been brewing inside him for a while recently. Jamie's well aware that he's not going to get any words of wisdom out of Taegyeom, but he can't help but ask. The question had been bothering him for ages.
"Like I wanna debut. I do... But what if I don't debut with people I love? What if I'm split up from them? What if I end up lonely even if I do achieve my dreams? Will it even be fun achieving them if I can't share that pleasure with my friends?" He rambles, eyes locked on the sky above him, before he closes them and heaves a heavy sigh. After another deep sigh, he opens his eyes and turns his head to look at Taegyeom expectantly, desperate for at least some small consolation from him.
𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐓, Campsite, Hyde Academy
May, 2023
w. 𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐌
“How you holding up?” Yiseul holds his stick out over the fire and watches as the tip of it catches fire, the wood glowing orange and splintering as the heat slowly travels down the long, thing length of wood. Beside him, on another fold-out camping chair pulled up to the side of the fire pit they'd made, Taegyeom sits. By the light of the fire, he looks just as handsome as when Yiseul first met him, and yet his looks are no longer what Yiseul sees first when he looks at him, much to his own surprise. Typically, people don’t mean much in general to Yiseul unless they’re attractive, and even then he only cares about them for the aesthetic pleasure they bring him.
Or at least that’s what he tells himself.
“Think I'm gonna win this.” His eyes remain on the fire, licking it’s way up the small branch towards Yiseul’s fingers; the spread slow, and steady. His lips quirk up into a flat kind of smile—he wonders if Taegyeom will even notice how obvious that lie is. Fire had always been somewhat of a comfort to Yiseul, and had become a way for Taegyeom and him to bond over the time they’d known each other. Of course, bond was a generous word when it came to Yiseul, but, at a stretch, he might be inclined to describe Taegyeom as a friend. Friends, Yiseul always thought, were merely weaknesses, and people were only there to be used for his benefit. Taegyeom, while definitely used at some point, had seemingly grown out of that, and slotted into a little hole in Yiseul’s armour that he’d forgotten to patch.
Filming had wrapped up for the day, so he doesn’t fear being overheard by a strategically placed microphone, or some member of the filming crew, when he says, “I dunno how I’m gonna do it—some of these people drive me absolutely nuts.” While others, he silently adds on, drive him nuts in an entirely different way. A way that makes him ultimately wish he hadn’t signed up for the show. Having had encounters with many of the guys here before, Yiseul wonders just how that’s going to affect his dynamic with them in here. Or, more importantly, their dynamic among each other—that is if they even find out how much he’d gotten around. “At least Robby’s here though, right?” He comments, smirking as he glances over at his companion.
Yiseul's pretty sure he's never been as pissed off in his life as he is right now.
Okay, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration. He's standing by the wall of the practise room, watching Dictator-Sungho try and get everyone to 'drop and give him 20', like he's some sort of drill sergeant. Well, Yiseul's not going to do it. What's Sungho going to do? Hit him? Too bad for him; Yiseul would love that. Who does he think he is? Just because he's the leader he thinks he can tell them to do anything he likes? Sure, Yiseul typically finds Sungho favourable, someone he'll seek out for some fun, but right now he wants the man to fall on his face, or walk into a wall, or simply disappear.
The members of his group really should be a positive to Yiseul—Sungho, who he usually enjoys the company of, Jae, who as much as he doesn't like to admit it, could make Yiseul do almost anything he asked, simply because he's just that hot, Seb, who is probably one of the only people Yiseul would call a friend, and Kota, and while Yiseul doesn't know Kota too well, he definitely would like to. He'd have though he'd be pleased with the grouping, but somehow it just felt bad. Yiseul felt largely forgotten among the other boys, and he wasn't used to being anything other than the center of attention. Typically, he'd push himself into everyone's business, into the limelight and step on them all to get ahead, and yet something holds him back when he looks at them all standing together.
He's no fool—he can see the way they all interact, can see it so clearly through the window he's stuck behind, watching it all from afar. It's as though he's a part of it, and yet he's not. He's a ghost while they're all real. But this is how he wants it, isn't it? To never let them close, to know everything, and yet for them to know nothing at all. They're apart from him, and that's how he wants it... right?
Yiseul isn't about to do any soul-searching now, or in the foreseeable future—he's perfectly happy as he is, even if he resents the other boys for seeming so close without him. Maybe he should be used to that, considering he's never part of the in-group. He's a lone wolf; that's who Ryu Yiseul is, through and through, and that's how it always will be. Yiseul doesn't need anyone, and no one needs him, not really. People never want anything from him that they can't get from someone else far easier.
And so, Yiseul treads through the week with a scowl on his face, avoiding talking to any of them, noticing the way they touch each other, and play around, or the way Sungho takes charge, and a little part of Yiseul finds it unbearably attractive, before slapping that little part away and reminding himself that no one is in charge of him. Yiseul wonders, as he watches them all, if they notice he's there, if they care, if they want him there, if they're indifferent. He doesn't care what they think, or feel, he tells himself, scowl deepening.
But he spends an awful lot of time alone that week, when he sneaks off to a secluded corner and writes and writes in his journal, pouring out what he's feeling and hating everything he admits to the blank white paper, hoping that once it's all out, he can forget he ever felt it. Emotions really don't get you anywhere, he concludes, as he stares at himself blankly in the mirror after a furious scribbling session in a stairwell. It's easier to just feel nothing at all, all the time.
He practises what few lines he has, and yet he's lacklustre, there's no fire in his eyes, his drive had all but flickered out. He just feels empty, cold, and somewhere deep down, angry and sad, but he really had no idea about what. He's told to try harder, chastised over and over for getting the moves and the singing right, and yet his face is utterly blank. Isn't that what he's in the group for? To do some nice expressions and then fade into the background while everyone else is front and centre? Yet he can't even do that anymore.
What's the point?
Performance day comes and Yiseul barely does much better than he had in practise. The dark cloud hanging over his head lingering, and the feeling of alienation from those around him, that he's usually so quick to brush off, clinging to him like tar. He sings well, dances well, and yet his face says nothing. He's too caught up this cloud, where he can't think or feel anything. It feels as though everyone else is a figment of his cruel imagination, or that he died and he's just a ghost that no one else can see.
"Yiseul... What was that?" The judges begin. He knows he's in for harsh critiques, but he can't bring himself to care right now—he can't even look at them as he stares at his feet. "Your voice, and your dancing were, as usual, really nice. You have a lovely vocal tone, and you're really very graceful, but... you seemed utterly checked out. You didn't seem to be mentally here at all. You're usually so good at expressions and drawing us in, so what happened today?"
Yiseul can't answer the question. He doesn't know the answer himself. Maybe he's just broken.
𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 // 𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙶𝙴
Jamie performs Blue Flame, singing ONE's lines …
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1,832 words
Hell yeah, what a great song to get to perform. Jamie had always liked 365, had looked up to them and enjoyed their music immensely, and now he was getting to perform it not just for trainers and company staff, but for thousands of people to tune in to see. He had no idea how many people would be watching him, but he knew it would be a considerable amount, and while that thought terrified him a little, he was beyond excited about the entire thing. He can't fall flat now, not after messing up in the last task. He'd let himself down, but he'd also freaked himself out, knowing that if he kept messing up he'd not be able to debut with Mason, who in his eyes always shone the brightest.
It's not until they begin to practise and Taegyeom brings up Jamie's slight failings in the realm of being 'shirtless-ready' that Jamie realises he's expected to show some level of bare-chest. This fact utterly terrifies him and he's about ready to beg to switch parts with Taegyeom, who he knows would snap it up instantly. But, he doesn't want to be a quitter, and he'd never really managed to pull off sexy before, so surely he needs to try?! He can't give up before he's even given it a shot. So, he begs Taegyeom to help him try and help him make his frankly quite measly abs more prominent before the performance. He doesn't want to risk being over-dehydrated for the performance just to make his body seem more muscular, so he's going to have to just go with what he's got, which isn't a lot, if he's being honest.
It's around this time that the lack of Haneul around him really becomes far too noticeable. After crying his eyes out over his... something's elimination, he'd tried to focus all his energy on the performance, knowing he needed a distraction to stop himself from freaking out over Haneul getting eliminated. A few times he'd found himself up a little too late, sitting by the window that looks out over the mountain and wondering where Haneul is at that moment and what he's doing, if he misses Jamie as much as Jamie misses him. He misses climbing into bed with him every night—he'd been open in interviews about how hard he found it to sleep alone, and he missed sneaking off to the bathrooms, safe from any cameras, to steal kisses and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. He misses holding his hand under the covers and telling him they're going to debut together. He feels empty without Haneul beside him now.
Somehow, focusing on the performance isn't really doing enough to get his mind off it though, not when he knows Haneul would have made him feel so much better about performing even partially shirtless. If only he could talk to him, or just see him for a little while, but he's up here on this damn mountain, trapped away from the boy he... feels things for. He'd yet to really think about it—he'd been so busy, and he'd not wanted to complicate it, not when it felt so nice to simply enjoy Haneul, but it's hard to deny that things feel so different with him compared to the other people he'd been with before. Yet, admitting how he feels right now, when Haneul had just been eliminated probably isn't the best thing to do, so as usual, he shoves it down and doesn't think about labels.
Instead, he thinks about how he's going to be humiliated when he performs with an open shirt and everyone sees his pathetic excuse for abs. Sure, he's got some definition, but it's nothing compared to Taegyeom's body. He'd describe what he had as '11-abs-plus', in short, he had two definite lines of muscle, with only slight lines cutting across—nothing to write home about in his opinion. He doesn't put as much time and effort into working out as he should, really, but that's where Taegyeom's help comes in. Suddenly all his free time is filled with core workouts, trying to get the definition he needed to make this shirt-open part not seems ridiculous.
Being completely tired out from practise, then working out every day, at least helps Jamie sleep better. The first night as he'd crawled into bed beside Mason, as he always did in the dorms, he'd lain awake thinking about Haneul, until he'd buried his face in Mason's shoulder and fallen asleep to his familiar scent instead. Mason felt like home to Jamie, and he didn't even want to think about having to deal with it if one of them got eliminated and he wasn't able to be beside him every day. Maybe that was to be Jamie's downfall. His desperate need to keep his loved ones right beside him. Jamie needed his people all the time—how did he expect to debut without them when he could barely handle a survival show without them?
Practise throughout the week doesn't go very well, thanks to Jamie's preoccupied mind and over-tiredness. Any time he's not practising, he's working out, and vice versa. He doesn't sleep enough, doesn't eat enough, and he realises towards the end of the week that he's being a hypocrite. He'd told Mason not to neglect himself last week, to get enough sleep, and yet here he is, overworking himself because he can't bear to sit down and let his brain think for too long. He'd not anticipated just how much strain this competition would put on him, and how absolutely unprepared he was for it.
But for the last couple nights before the performance, Jamie lets himself go to sleep at a sensible time, although he can't help but crawl into bed beside Mason, still unable to sleep alone. He wonders what viewers think, seeing Jamie never in his own bed, always slipping in beside a friend, cuddling up to them and burying his nose in their shoulder. Frankly, he's not sure he cares, though. There's nothing wrong in his mind with needing to fall asleep beside someone. He thinks of it like people who sleep with plushies, or hugging a pillow—he just needs to hear someone breathing beside him to feel relaxed enough to drift off.
Finally, the day of the performance arrives and Jamie's nervous. He knows the lyrics, he knows the dance, and yet he's so scared that viewers will simply laugh when they see his shirt open and his measly excuse for abs exposed for the world to see. Jamie isn't usually insecure, but as he prepares, loose shirt already half unbuttoned, he wonders if he's really the right person to be doing this, or if this will bring the group down. Perhaps they shouldn't have included it at all, or given it to Taegyeom instead. Jamie isn't tall, or broad, or muscular, he's just average. It's too late to worry about now, though, as they take their positions on stage and Jamie takes deep breaths to calm himself. He needs to make sure he's focusing on his dancing, his expressions, everything that he tends to forget when he gets too into singing his heart out. If he just focuses on doing a good job, he won't worry so much about his body—or at least he hopes so.
As the music starts, and Jamie takes one last shaky breath, he puts his mind to the task of simply performing as he'd practised, pushing his worries aside as best he can. He opens the song, and thankfully, as it's easy enough to sing, he focuses on his expression, trying to seem seductive and almost mysterious. It's hard for him, being sexy but he'd spent the entire week working on it, asking for help from the other group members, and he can only hope that his hard work shines through now.
He's able to focus on nailing the dance before his next line at the pre-chorus, and as he focuses on anything but his overly exposed body, he manages to keep on the beat this time, his movements precise, strong, and yet graceful in a way that the song requires. That pit of nervousness still sits in the very depths of his stomach, but he just hopes it won't be visible to anyone else. It's easy to lose himself in his singing as he performs the pre-chorus, relying on the strength of it to impress, over any other aspect of him in that moment.
The longer the song goes on, the more confident Jamie feels, especially as he performs the second chorus, a slight smirk sneaking into his expressions, a somewhat mischievous sensuality falling over him as he puts his all into it. He loves this song, and he wants to perform it well, and to do that he has to at least pretend he feels sexy. How can he convince anyone else if he can't even convince himself?! So, he simply pretends. There's no way someone as pretty as Haneul would want to kiss him if he wasn't at least enticing in some way, right? Grasping onto that fact, he leans into the performance even more, desperate to prove himself.
Then, as Mason performs his part, Jamie knows what's coming up. As he stands at the side of the stage while Mason raps, he unbuttons the rest of his shirt and takes a deep breath, feeling just a little nauseous. But there's no time to worry about it before he's back on, focusing on the singing, the dancing, the expressions, and not on his entirely exposed abdomen. There's not much left of the song, only one more chorus, and everything goes smoothly, before Jamie finishes out the song with the last line, putting his all into it and hoping he did a good enough job to not be eliminated. He knows it wasn't his best performance ever, that his nerves probably shone through, but he really tried so hard.
Once the performance is over, Jamie takes a second to hurriedly button his shirt back up two thirds of the way at least, knowing he'll feel so much more comfortable when he's got a little more armour protecting him from the judges. They go down the line, giving their critiques, and then they get to Jamie.
"Jamie, you did well today. Your singing just keeps improving every time we hear you, and your dancing was much better than last week. The only critique I really have for you is that I could tell you were nervous and thinking about the 'abs-moment' the entire time. I know you wanted to try and prove yourself, whether to us, the viewers, or to yourself, and that you've mentioned you struggle with sexier concepts, but it was clear you weren't entirely comfortable with it. You don't need to put yourself in uncomfortable positions just to prove something to people, Jamie. Remember that. But, well done."
𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘, robby performs ❝ 𝖇𝖑𝖚𝖊 𝖋𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊. ❞
𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘, jamie han, mason lee, son taegyeom.
𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙, written in roughly 𝟏,𝟎𝟗𝟎 words.
to put it plainly, robby’s been pretty bored for this leg of the competition. it’s not so much out of overconfidence, per se, but more that he, unfortunately, finds the song selection really dull this go around. it’s not as though it’s one of 365′s worst releases, he’s not saying that, but when compared to ❛ maverick, ❜ it doesn’t pack the same punch, especially when the choreography is taken into consideration. as he’s a dancer above all, he looks forward to spending hours upon hours learning moves, adding his own flair to them, perfecting his angles, & really pouring all of his soul into the performance through his motions alone. this time, however, the combinations his group’s been given are simple — way too simple, he’d wager — & it took him little-to-no time to memorize everything ;; the ease of it immediately being picked up by muscle memory in a way that he’s used to, which is a bittersweet sensation for him.
clearly, the obstacle he faces is meant to test his other skills — the ones that aren’t as polished as his dancing. it goes without saying that he’s not the most confident in his singing voice, & he doesn’t think he’s a bad singer, but if he draws comparisons between him & the others signed to wonder nation, it’s clear that they’re far more advanced than he is ;; his own brother included in the list of guys he’s thinking about. being that they’re on the same team, he leaned on jamie a lot for guidance ;; grateful that the two of them could lift one another up during this portion of the show. with his sibling’s help, he was able to work on his parts enough to feel better about his odds, but there’s still a little devil on his shoulder informing him that failure is a possibility, especially since he may have some bad karma looming above him.
nevertheless, all of the preparation is behind him as he steadies himself onstage ;; his heartbeat escalating more than in the last round, but that’s mostly due to the fact that he’s been pushed out of his comfort zone here. all robby can do is his best, & while he personally believes that it’s enough to put him in the judges’ good graces, he doesn’t want to get too ahead of himself. it’s confidence that gets people further in life, not cockiness, & instead of being delusional about his talents, he’s choosing to be self-aware. what his voice is known for is its color, its tone ;; one that has been called ❛ unique ❜ since his audition. it’s gentle rasp, medium-high range, tasteful nasality, & slight ❛ emo whine ❜ captures attention, even if it’s technically imperfect. he’s not concerned about being in tune, or launching into stable high notes, no — he’s focused on leaning into his ear-catching timbre, & performing a detailed dance.
once the beat starts, his limbs unfold like the petal of a flower — honing in on the angles & lines of each movement as opposed to packing them with power, & well-timed tension. this song is a softer one, in general, & it needs to be paired with actions that match its vibe ;; ones that flow with a delicate swing & sharpness. however, he tries his best not to get too wrapped up in the choreography. instead, he’s taking a note from the others :: dance in a way that makes it easier to control breath support. as he’s leading the first verse, his vocal sets the tone for the song, & as his part approaches, he swallows his nerves & goes for it ;; decorating his sound with sultry breathiness to better accentuate the cool production of the song.
he’s not worried about the verses. what he’s concerned about are the choruses he sings. the melody becomes higher, & it requires him to use more breath in order to hit the notes properly. they’re what he worked the hardest on, & he hopes his practicing pays off. though, before he launches into his lines during the first chorus, he gets the pleasure of being able to listen to taegyeom perform right before him, & he smiles at how stunning his voice is. knowing that he’s not only devilishly handsome, but also extremely talented, is one of the many things robby finds so enchanting about him. however, he doesn’t want to get distracted, so as he steps up to bat, he gives it his all. he’s a bit flat on one of the top notes, & his attempt at a riff is messy, but not horrible. the attractiveness of his tonality is still there, so at least that quality's intact.
throughout the duration of the song, robby handles everything well. the bridge he sings is pretty, the performance, as far as dancing goes, is great as expected, but he does flub a little bit, & it’s all because he becomes hopelessly transfixed with one of his group-mates. during the final chorus, as he stands beside taegyeom in the center & sings his half of it, the other’s high notes & their power capture his attention so much that he forgets the lyrics for a second ;; mumbling them out in tune before catching up with them again. not wanting to show any panic on his face, he carries through to the end, but internally, he’s obsessing over his mistake ;; beating himself up as he takes his last stance in the formation, his chest rising & falling slowly as he does his best to catch his breath — the intensity in his gaze strikingly prominent.
in the end, he gets lauded for his dancing & magnetism, but his singing is questioned. as wonder nation is a subsidiary that highlights clean vocals & visuals, they’re a little harder on him for not being better than he is, but do take into consideration that he’s had a rather short training period ;; less than one year, to be specific. they try not to compare him to his brother, but one judge does remark that it’s ❝ shocking ❞ that jamie sings so well, & that robby isn’t anywhere near his level yet. that comment feels like a blade digging into his ego, but he still bows & thanks the judges for their criticism. with this turn, a new fire is ignited within him ;; one that he’ll take with him throughout the rest of the competition. all he can hope is that he remains in the elite class. if not, there’ll be hell to pay for whoever votes him out... that’s for damn sure.
