I think that part of the reason why it took Colin a while to forgive Pen and accept LW is that he knows she can see right through him. It’s been said multiple times that she sees him for who he is, despite the mask he tried to wear at the beginning of this season.
And Colin probably thought that he can see her too. That he knows his Pen through and through. So when that crumbled… yeah, it was a harsh wake up call.
He must’ve felt uneven with her, along with the constant worry that he’s not enough for her, that he’s not worthy. The realisation that while she knows him, he doesn’t know her must’ve been a real kick in the gut.
Perhaps a little on the nose with that lyric but here’s the synopsis:
In the aftermath of Corellia, the Dark Council is upheaved by the deaths of Darth Baras and Darth Thanaton. One Darth Nox and the Empire's Wrath fill the gaps as the new generation of Sith rise while war rages on. Zanya and Malavai finally spend some of their newfound downtime determining what "us" looks like when "we" has been so shaky for so long — and whether its worth the repair costs.
Another, admittedly, self-indulgent chapter wrapping up the fourth season to set the more melodramatic tone of the fifth. Nox (Erzilith) visits with Zanya in the earlier half of the episode to chat a little about future plans and their new stations while moving into their quarters on Dromund Kaas, reflecting back on the events of their apprenticeships to others. Nox offers Zanya a place at their side, as allies this time rather than rivals, but Zanya declines the offer as he’d rather do literally anything else than work for them. He has a higher calling now, after all. Nox isn’t exactly pleased, but admits they hope they stay out of each other’s way in the future.
(I always wonder why the wrath doesn’t usurp Baras’s position on the Council, I’m sure there’s a lore reason with them also being the wrath and a conflict of interests, but I reason this out being because Zanya sees himself as above them and didn’t want the title of Darth as a result. Weapons don’t need power bases or something like that. I guess. Zanya makes a lot of weird and self-destructive decisions around now.)
The other part of the episode is the fallout of the proposal. The time skip between season four and five is roughly about 5-6 months of time (given I remember the timeline right, and if not this is TBD) and in that time, Zanya had not only gone back home for Lioran’s funeral, but also given the crew quite a lot of time off while he dealt with himself and solo handled a few missions here and there. No one actually saw him for a while, which left everyone on edge because that’s never really a good sign considering his iffy at best mental state, but eventually he comes back to his apartment and decides he needs to stop being a child (he calls himself a child, he’s just been through multiple warzones and events that are namely traumatic but he won’t say that) and handle his affairs.
One, dealing with Tadhg. But two, dealing with the fact he never gave Malavai an answer on their relationship. I headcanon that he still proposes after Corellia, but it puts Zanya off completely to the point he doesn’t even bother answering. Just … walks off directly after he asks without another word and he doesn’t actually see Zanya for another six months. As a result, this is the episode where they go on a break.
Well, they call it a break. They’re properly broken up by Forged Alliances, even if there are still feelings there that they may or may not indulge in. One specific line from this WIP that will haunt me until the day I write it:
“Regardless of what happens between us now, you no longer have free rein over my heart, Malavai. You forfeited that when you chose someone else over me. Reasons or otherwise, I am not fool enough to allow you that close again.”
(And then nearly ten years later, Zanya does get to be a little foolish. But that’s neither here or there right now)
Do you remember when I said I was renovating my home and that the last thing I had to do was painting the corridor? I told you the final result would be very cool and I wasn’t lying. The final result is SO COOL!
It took a very long time, because my brother did it all by himself. Sure, he did not work on it all day but only in his spare time and he also took several days to rest. Still, he finished it and he is so goddamn proud of it.
It was the first time he tried something similar. He is not a painter. He painted the other rooms, but it was a lot simpler: he had just one color to use for a whole room. It is not too complicated. But this? This requires a lot more time and patience.
And what a result! We are the first to be mesmerized by it! :D Before the corridor was just a white space, now it bursts with life and makes the entire house much more modern.
The camera cannot fully convey how beautiful these colors are, but they are coral red, mint green and the creamy yellow has some peach shades when it is hit by direct light. Even though my bro wasn’t completely on board with the green, now he likes it.
Well, how about you? Do you like it? I am in awe and I love it and I love my brother for doing this to me. I already gave him a gift (I had a free 2-days trip + spa for 2 people and we went together), but I will definitely give him an even bigger gift for Christmas. He has, like, 7 months to think about what he wants and I know it will be worth every euro I will spend.
I just need to wait, because I am still paying for the goddamn floor and it will took me months before I am financially okay again to buy something else. At least, in the meantime I can enjoy his beautiful work and you can enjoy it too <3
robbe wasn’t even able to get the words out to milan about the hate crime, both times he talked about it milan had to finish the sentence for him. i don’t think he’s anywhere near ready to report it and relive that traumatic experience over and over again and risk getting called a liar in court. and he’s a teenager.
