#he recognized me

[penis-p-uncher]

GUYS WHAT TITAN JUST LIKED MY POST HUH??? WHATTUWUSYAYAYAY

[cinnaflora]

Me out in public: "Hey that guy is cute... Oh my god I've fucked him... then ghosted him."

[photorose11]

Quit my old job. Got an amazing job at a Psychiatrist office. Great hours, great pay. Awesome staff.

But what is the chance of my ex fiancés fathers Psychiatrist is at the office I work at?

Because his Psychiatrist is at my office.

[pancakes-and-justice]

So my dad’s ex’s son works at the place I go for lunch everyday

[greppelheks]

me cycling through the city  this country’s pretty much most famous stand up comedian waving at me: heeeeeey!  me: oh hi jochem! 

[figgyforprez]

So I was in the hospital today and I looked like shit cause who looks good in an impromptu er visit while sitting for over an hour on lots and lots of pain? Anyway the first person who comes in while I'm sprawled on the bed like so much lard is a dude who I had a crush on in high school and I kinda wanna jump off a roof except I'd probably see him again if I did that and I still look like shit lol

[whocaresidontneedausername]

Max is the coolest dude.

[wonderlandflamingo]

I apparently went to middle school with my pizza boy.