I was so nervous. I was beginning to think the school had made a mistake when they gave me the offer--“What were they thinking?”. I was beginning to think I made a mistake when I accepted the offer “What was I thinking?”
I was really starting to feel the pressure. I don’t want to fail the students. I want them to have fun, be challenged, be engaged. But over the last few days, I’ve been really doubting my ability to do so. “Someone else would do a better job.”
And then today, the very first words that were spoken to us new faculty at orientation was that we all deserved to be here. The Head of School called out the very thing that was on my mind. He said, “Absolutely, you belong here.”
And he told us that we would not be the only people thinking that we didn’t belong here at this school, but that the students might feel the same insecurity, too. When he said that, I was taken out of the small world I had built out my own anxieties and reminded of my students again.
I’m still anxious of so many things--whether I’ll be able to reach my students and provide them with a healthy learning environment, whether I’ll be able to meet their curiosity and thirst for a challenge, whether I’ll be able to form meaningful relationships with them... But this morning, the folks at this school, with open arms, reminded me that we are all supported and we will support one another--student, faculty, and staff alike.
As anxious as I am, I look forward to what the year has in store for all of us.
(above) I feel like I have a really giant mountain to climb. But I’m positive I’ll learn a lot on my way to the top :)
