#imposter syndrome

[audafterhours]

I truely am having imposter syndrome so bad too. Like what if I just completely lied on all my paperwork? What if I'm not good at watching kids anymore? (Legit have done ot for 5+ years and have a kid and had a nanny job all summer...)

[sluts4samruby]

having the type of trauma i have is kind of sucks because i was never in any physical danger so its really easy to downplay how bad it actually was and its really easy for me to be like "why am i so fucked up it wasn't even that bad". and i know it wouldn't be better if i HAD been in actual physical danger at any point. but still.

[teabeexo]

AP art is gonna bend me over so bad this year holyyyy

[imposter-syndrome-is]

imposter syndrome is having imposter syndrome ABOUT imposter syndrome

like "I don't think I'm worried or concerned or blah blah blah enough to have real imposter syndrome... I'm just a faker..." dude. Dude. You are actively impostering that syndrome squared.

Imposter syndrome when you have imposter syndrome is...

[milafredka]

I just wanna put this out there in case anybody else can relate, I feel so weird about calling myself disabled. Because like I do have several conditions that objectively are disabilities, but all of them have something about them that makes me feel like I "don't qualify".

Like I have ADHD, but I have no idea if I have a diagnosis or not atp, I've gotten meds for it tho, (they didn't work), but the vague "yeah you pretty much have it" I got from every psychiatrist I've talked to doesn't give me confidence to say I actually have ADHD and not feel like I'm just making up excuses for myself. The amount of "you just need to put in effort" and "you're smart but just lazy" I've heard in my life definitely doesn't help.

Similar thing with autism, I'm not sure myself if I'm diagnosed or not, and even if I am, I feel like I have very low support needs compared to others and I can function independently pretty well so calling it a disability just feels cheap, since it doesn't feel like it significantly impacts my capabilities

And then I do have a chronic illness that I've had for 2/3 of my life by now, and if I don't take my medicine it will get me hospitalized, or if I can't do that, literally kill me. But like I don't notice it every day much because it's silent as long as I have medication for it and doesn't affect me. Like if I go without meds for a few days it does hurt a lot, but I *do* have my meds, so calling it a disability feels a bit weird if it doesn't impact me day to day beyond taking like 5-15 minutes every day for meds.

Sorry if this feels a bit rambly, that's because it... Well it is- it's 11pm and I just wanna throw thoughts out of my head. Idk, maybe it's just oldbuddy imposter syndrome kicking in or maybe I'm just right on this one. You can tell what you think, weirdos /aff that live in my phone

[erinmalleyreal]

messy

these are some pretty shit screenshots, but tumblr fucks up the formatting so bad that i have to post it this way.

raw text (unformatted) under cut:

she can’t not put it into words.

she can’t tap her foot against the floorboards,

scrape it in an open arc and begin to gyrate her

hips like a horny bird;

or lather her ink across a canvas 

waiting for it to dry, waiting for someone to

stumble upon it at a car-boot sale years later

once the meaning had dissolved into colour

and the feelings that she had chased blended

into little, black, stick-men. who watched silently

as her ivory fingers stumbled across the ivory keyboard

that some mother or father paid for her to keep out of sight.

she can’t put it into song.

she can’t whet her throat with a coherent

rhythm or –god forbid– metre, beholden 

to a

metronome’s tick. 120. 130. 96. 250. bpm.

as she falls back in her chair with a dull

thud escaping her lips, and a sigh that

leaks from the seat below

with the curtains closed and

the audience gone and

the tickets sold with a price that rings of

failure, all those with good taste left before act 3

and all those without didn’t bother to show.

their warbled, garbled voices pushed out from

the doors and windows, shattering glass

across the floor

and she’s the one who has to

clear the mess

clear her mess

the empty drinks and the spilled

that stained the carpet, trampled in

so tight, she almost saw her face

reflected in each battered kernel.

she can’t not put it into words

but they can’t

come out quite right, no matter

how many times she insists

or begs or listens,

no-one seems to bat an eye, so it must be the

words, right? it can only be the words,

it can only be the ink she

chokes out painlessly,

the mess she scrawls on the wall

that she doesn’t bother with intermission for

that she howls out in the night like a pained wolf, right?

It has to be the words.

But the words are all she has.

[ems-creatives-and-chaos]

Reading the half finished piece I'm doing for the Mincemeat Madness and it's really showing up how much my perfectionism has gotten worse in the past 5 years or so.

Like, there's a difference between idiot teen writing for fun with few thoughts about character accuracy and actual decent writing and then the same idiot writing for fun but is also heavily criticising her work and then worried because what if it's not accurate enough for the character and a million other issues

[shanky2panky]

The racial imposter syndrome I feel from being multiracial is so bad bro. Because I look very African bur then I get the Dominican dad in my ear saying that we’re not black and the taino mom telling me we’re not black. (To be completely factual, I’m African, Taino/native American, European (which I hate I don’t wanna be white) and a teensy bit Asian) and it’s honestly such a hard experience being the most African looking in my family and a no sabo. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. This is me and I don’t know how to present myself. And then because I talk without AAVE a lot people say ‘you don’t act like a black/latina girl’ and that shit pissed me off so much. I do speak a little bit sometimes without even realizing it (my dad speaks it) but regardless, I speak like the average white northern American accent and it makes me wanna kms. Does anyone else also relate or nah? I also within the last year had to pull myself out of the ‘I no black i Dominican’ haze and it was so bad. Nobody talks about ts bro.