#headspacing

[kurtsieforlife]

That feeling at a rock show when the music starts low and gradually builds and builds, and you feel the vibrations rising up from your feet up into your chest...

Reblog if you agree

[novennis]

Repost this, do not reblog it. Tag 10 people you want to get to know better. I was tagged by biomedicalpotato Name: Callie Nickname: California, but not really (like one person calls me this) Place of birth: Georgia Birthday: March 5th Gender: female Height: 5’5” Favourite colour: blue Time/Date: 1/15/15, 11:12 PM Avarage hours of sleep: 7 Last thing I googled: “如果云知道 translation" Place that makes me happy: music concert halls How many blankets i sleep under: two for now

I tag kamaeto, yuuuki, headspacing, hahneul, grandesundae

[novennis]

Callie, how is everything? Have you been doing blogilates consistently? Having lunch with the boy? Preparing for uni? Sorry I haven't been messaging you as much, but you've been on my mind, and I hope you're well :-)

Hi Sunny. :’)

To be honest, I slacked off on blogilates for three days (I had just finished day 12 out of 28… but on Sunday I went on a date with the boy and didn’t do exercise… and for the next two days afterwards I fell into an exercise slump). After reading your message, I finally picked up my lazy butt and did day 13’s exercise routine. Thanks for checking up on me. ^_~

Yup, on most days I have lunch with the boy & some other classmates who are also interning at the same place. Yesterday I officially registered for classes and know my schedule for college this fall. It’s made me a bit of more conscientious about my goals for the new school semester! However, studying wise, I haven’t been keeping up with reading my math & bio textbooks. I’ve been interning in a research lab 8 hrs a day, and I find myself exhausted and lazy by the time I get home. On the other hand, I really really love the people in my lab, find immunology research interesting, and am really eager to learn as much as I can. I’m trying to read up on the research we’re involved in. Overall, I think I need to figure out how to balance my relaxation time/uni prep/at-home-research-reading/piano. I’ve gotten in the bad habit of going to bed past 12 AM since I would watch anime and/or episodes of Legend of Korra before going to sleep… which explains why I’m so tired after work the next day.

Goal for tonight: go to bed by 11:30 PM. * ^ *

On a side note, I want to read some books for leisure… I’ve started a lot of novels and I want to finish them, dammit lol. In particular, my uni has a required reading, titled “Happier” by Tal Ben-Shahar. The book goes into detail about how to live a life of fulfillment. I’m not sure if you’ve already read it before, but it’s based off this course the author taught at Harvard, which was especially popular with the students. I’ve just started reading it. If you’re looking for sometime to read in your leisure time, maybe take a peek? :P

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[novennis]

~

Dear Sunny,

Reading your post, I can feel your desperation and pain. I know that no amount of words can alter your situation... as much as I wish it would. My experience from yours is very different -- but if you remember, several months back, I had a similarly devastating experience with piano. Looking back, it wasn't just that one day, although that day was the worst. In the weeks and months before, my piano lessons were sometimes... off. But on that day, after that experience, I cried for hours. I loathed myself. I hated my mind and habits which led me to that humiliating failure. I was so fucking humiliated and confused with myself that I even quit formal piano lessons. Like you, piano was part of my identity. When others quit, I persisted. Even when I failed (countless other times too), I clung on. And in the few times I succeeded, it meant everything. But that experience was beyond everything I had endured. I couldn't face my teacher after that. I was a coward.

A lot of things built up to that moment of humiliation. But there were two things that stood at the root of everything. First, I had a habit of negligence and self-reassurance when it came to practice. I planned to practice several hours each day. But there was always something that came up --- and I never lasted more than a few days of vigorous practice. To make it easier for myself to sleep at night, I would tell myself "tomorrow, I'll practice twice as much". I'd reassure myself that at some point, when I got serious enough before the deadline, I would reach a critical breakthrough and everything would fall into place. That never happens. Second, when it came to the critical moment, be it a competition or recital, my confidence plummeted to nonexistence. In the key moments when I was onstage, performing, my mind would slip into delirious worry for a split second -- fuck, I hope I don't forget any notes -- and that, inevitably, would result in me actually screwing up. 

You feel overwhelmed with the idea of failing because time is moving faster than your progress. You feel like escaping from the failure you feel is imminent. But a piece of yourself is hanging on by a thread, trying to practice when the feeling of hopelessness consumes your mind. I feel like that itself is inhibiting your ability to progress too.

Personally, when it comes to music, I work best, and most efficiently when I have a goal I'm striving to achieve, rather than worrying about a fate I have to avoid. The only piece of advice I can give (though I'm really not qualified to give advice), is that you should re-evaluate what your goal is.

You walked into this with the ambition of passing the exam and proving something to yourself. You have under two months left with 3 pieces to master.

You know what you believe about yourself. If you sincerely believe that it is impossible to achieve that, then revise your goal. 

For example, make it your goal to spend two weeks per piece. Focus all of your efforts on that single piece for those two weeks. Then move onto the next. Devise your own way of attacking things. Screw the exam. Screw everything. If you don't believe you can pass, fine. But find something you believe and desperately want to attain, and break it up into things that you can tackle daily. Find something you know you can do, and believe in it. You have to start somewhere.

If you're feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, focus on a revised goal that seems more attainable. Forget about the exam. When the day comes, you play your fucking best. Only learned 4 our of the 6 pieces? Well perform those 4 pieces and make them as fucking beautiful as you can muster. You're playing for yourself.

Remember that.

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themangoturtle

[kyouu-u]

Hello, I'm wondering if you'd be okay with sharing the name of the song/artist on your playlist? I love it. That jazzy hip-hop vibe. <3 Thank you :-)

The song is Piano Suavecito by Rhytmatical. Sorry for the very late reply! I'm rarely on tumblr anymore D:

[rudecatsounds]

headspacing;-)

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[chilloutro]

headspacing mentioned you in a photoset:chilloutro which manga?

chilloutro which manga?

headspacing

Boku wa Mari no Naka