#healing??

[centipedeinmystudy]

not to get sappy but i'll choose you and love you forever this time. i never really communicated much of anything back when we were, like, really and truly us, but this time i'm trying my best and i refuse to let you go a day without knowing you're cared for and loved.

you said once to your little ghost recorder that you didn't care if i kept you safe, you just wanted to know if i cared about you. i took that to heart. there's no danger this time around, nothing to keep you safe from, no reason for me to have that weird "i could fix him" mentality. i'm just here again. by choice. and i'll be here and choose to be here for as long as you'd like me around

from jedidiah (your buddy again) (sorry for sappyposting on main) (it will happen again)

Hello omg hi hello????

[hectic-wishes]

It's strange feeling

When the sick mind craves chaos.

To be in the happiest period of your life

Safe, loved, cared for and respected

But the unwell part of you desires pain.

Believes you deserve it.

Switches the b- roll to something sinister

After watching too much slice of life.

And it's nauseating.

Why must I put myself through this rollercoaster

When everything finally starts looking up?

Maybe my body never really left fight or flight

Or maybe I'm preparing for the worst.

Even if it's getting harder to switch channels-

I refuse to give in to self sabotage.

I fought to push the elephant off my chest

And there's no chance you're putting it back.

[manicpixietboy]

DAWGGGG HOW TF DO WE UNLEARN SHAME

[wilting-houseplant]

I feel like this can’t be ideal but I definitely have found that the most effective way to shut up my spiraling anxious obsessions are just to tell myself dude that’s crazy. like that’s an insane thought. and then i’m like oh huh no you right I should chill. and idk if that would be recommended by a therapist but like…. works for me?? and/or i’m just healing enough that I can finally identify the irrational thoughts and call them out as they come

[refractaling]

shock waves through the system

I haven't fronted, like fully fronted, in like a week. so I'm catching up on everything. this breakup with our boyfriend has sent shockwaves through the system,,, we have lots of rebuilding of connections to do and new healing to do,,,

it's strange,, coming back after so long. I'm usually so in the know. but a lot has shifted,,, we've uncovered a whole new layer of the system but that's not my department.

anyways,, we might be pretty quiet for a bit. we'll be okay. we've got a good support team of friends (and internal group) but yeah,,

[katebucky-blog]

gammabombs yeah it's really cool!! like i pay same tution w/financial aid (like i pay 10 grand for my school w/finaid a yr and this dx uni is more like 60 grand a yr) but w/the internship/seminars i could probably get a polisci minor?? which idk is just nice cuz im fumbling w/minors