#hearmyheartspeak

[diiisiiiriii-blog]

Dear Angels, Would you still guard and guide me? Even I've said expletives every now and then? Would still be there for me and will never leave me? Des- Overthinker #dearheart #hearmyheartspeak

[darkangel1248]

HEAR MY HEART SPEAK : Make My Day

"You are beautiful." "Your laughter rings in everyone's ears like there's no tomorrow." "I like your smile." "It's good to be in your company." "You make my day." ..these are just few of the sweet things he said to me. WORDS. They mean nothing. They are just an empty string of letters put together. Trifling. Inconsequential. Lest, the person that spoke those words matter to you. Or unless, the spoken words struck the heart of the one who received them. Weirdly and unexpectedly, his words formed a shaft that sped its way through my heart. I feel the blow of Eros' arrow fill my heart with uncontrollable desire to know him. So my heart's quest has began. In the old days, if you want to comprehend something, people used to ask questions directly, read books and encyclopedias or perhaps, hire a private investigator. Ha-ha. I wouldn't go that far. So thank God, I was born in an era in which google is now a reality. I learned so much about him. He loves anime, online games, foodtrips, movie dates, taking pics/vids, loves to travel and likes to hang-out with friends. He has funny pictures and videos found online that shows how no one would ever have a dull moment in his company. He has the same college degree in the same medical field i graduated and have license for. He's smart and can carry conversations about almost any topic there is in the planet. He looks dashing, clean-cut, well-dressed and well-bred. His outgoing, upbeat, extrovert personality is almost the same as mine. He talks loud and has a sexy english accent. He has an awesome flare for words that draws people in. He has crazy mood swings that can either make you feel like you are the world or that your presence doesn't make the slightest difference to him. He has strong opinion about things, witty comments and is never afraid to speak his mind. I could go on and on, rattling about every single bit of amazing qualities he has but amongst all these, what i admire the most about him is the way he loves. Sweet, passionate love. The kind of love that shouts to the universe - well, social media (e.g. facebook, etc.) reaches the entire population of the world globally through WIFI/Internet connection - the magnitude and depth of the love he feels inside. A love that any woman would dream of and any dreamer could only wish to have in their life. I have no intention of whisking him away from the arms of his beloved girl. I have too much respect for relationships to even try. I just like the way his eyes flicker in delight and the way it speak volumes about his happiness in love. It makes me believe that true love still exists. In a world where inspiration is everything, I'm glad to have known him. I love the random, chance encounters, the playful jest of words and my heart's silent longing for his sweet words to make my day once more.

[darkangel1248]

HEAR MY HEART SPEAK : New Encounters

I kissed dating goodbye. It’s not just a famous book written by one of my favourite authors - Joshua Harris. T'was also the theme of my life for almost 15months and counting. You see, when you’ve fallen as hard as i did with a loud thud on my butt - almost hearing the sound of cracked bones but it was just the broken, smashing pieces of my heart - you begin to build walls high enough for no one to ever come close to shattering your soul once again. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never love at all. Whoever said this must either be a lunatic and/or a masochist. Or so i say, as the senseless throbbing pain find their way of release through the betraying tears that came gushing down my face unchecked. I tasted the bitter tears. My forlorn state and drooping shoulders marking my defeat. The torture seems to be unbearable. The answers to my questions seem to be a faraway dream, unattainable or so it seems. As I try to pick up the fragments of my hopeful romantic heart, a firm resolve started to grow roots inside - to never put myself through that painstaking agony of loving someone so much that i begin losing myself in the process. I had been so content at happily enjoying the company of family and friends, getting better at loving myself, allowing others to love me and growing in my spiritual journey as i become an active part of Light of Jesus Family through PG13 ((Praising God to the 13th Power)) i love life retreat batchmates. GOD has been so good to me. I have slowly surrendered the reins of my broken heart and the healing process has taken its course. I have kept my heart or what’s left of it - hidden, locked away in a safe place, out-of-reach from anyone who has no idea of how to take care of it, never to be found. Or so i thought. I was on my way to PICC last sunday for the 11:30am service at FBASYNC. From QC to Vito Cruz then from Vito Cruz to PICC has been my normal route most sundays when i attend The Feast. Nothing out of the ordinary happens. But last sunday was in a good way surprisingly different. It started with me having 2 epic fail uber bookings - the first was supposedly a mirage but with an uber glitch a fortuner arrived instead so the driver has to cancel the booking, the second driver was too far and i was running past my 10am calltime for prod team so it has to be cancelled too. Whew! My human side is starting to get the better of me. Irritation is slowly growing under my skin while i was trying my 3rd attempt for an uber ride while standing at Mcdonald’s La Salle Parking Lot. But fate must have it. Out of nowhere a smiling British guy approached me and said the nicest things that made my day. He started with : “what does a beautiful lady with red lips doing standing in a parking lot at this time of the day?” I know i had this silly grin on my face as I inhale the positive vibes that his charming presence has brought into existence in my otherwise dark, gloomy mood prior to his arrival. He invited me for coffee but with a smile and a quick explanation of “I’m attending The Feast at PICC”, i turned down his offer. We talked a bit about The Feast and I encouraged him to attend whenever he’s free as my phone beeped with notification that my uber driver is on his way to my location. He said yes he’d love to experience it then he gave me his calling card and said he’d want to have coffee sesh whenever I’m free. We said our goodbyes and see you around lines. He went inside Mcdonald’s then my uber ride arrived. Wow! I can’t help but say the words with smiles reaching my ears : “LORD, You are amazing!” GOD knows how much my insides turn into jelly when i speak to a guy that has a sexy, british accent. It has always made my day back when i was working at Sprint Makati for more than 2 years. It still has the same sweet magic effect to my ears. I almost giggled my way to PICC as i remember my mom saying several years ago that she’s praying for God’s best for my love life and that who knows, I might end up with a blue-eyed guy as my One True Love. Ha-ha. Last sunday’s encounter was GOD’s sweet reminder of my worth as His Princess. Beautiful under pressure. Thank you Charles for making my day! I still have your calling card but I’m not yet sure if I’m ready to take the leap even if I’m inspired. But as Bro. Bo would always say, there’s no bombs falling so there’s no rush into love. So I’m taking this slow as I work my way to be the right woman I was created to be. New encounters are a marvel of sorts, this I begin to understand. It’s also a gentle knock at the door of my heart. My numb heart was brought back to life. A wave of realization hit me and the greatest of it all is that regardless of how broken, beaten and stricken - the heart will always do its ultimate purpose which is to LOVE.