As you can imagine, I talk to a lot of people who’ve also had their hearts and minds smashed and splattered, and who are naturally inclined to build a protective fortress around those hearts and minds; for fear of being hurt again. But this is predictive thinking and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you’re not careful, so please don’t succumb to this urge. Ask yourself… How would you feel if you met someone new and it was going well, but then they started hitting you with their ex’s shitty stick, e.g.: projecting their ex’s faults and foibles onto you? Not exactly fair is it, because you are not their ex? Well, the same is true for you too, you cannot reasonably assign your ex’s faults and foibles onto your new love, it’s just not cricket. They are an entirely different person, and so you must learn to hold space for them differently, else you can slide (unintentionally, subconsciously) into the negative outcomes you’re trying to avoid. When/if you find yourself closing your heart and armouring up, mindfully catch yourself on and acknowledge what you’re doing, then immediately change what you’re doing. Just because you start to think a thought (and activate all the associated feelings) in no way obligates you to think (and feel) it all the way through to the end. Simply put, you must change your thinking (and feelings) to change your reality. If you really get bogged down in all of this, please feel free to contact me and I’ll coach you through it. For now though be brave and be bright about it — catch yourself on and choose positive thoughts and feelings over negative thoughts and feelings every damn time. You DO have the power and you CAN do it. Much love Karan 💕 TooRelievedToGrieve.com/contact #heartbreak #heartbreakhelp #heartbroken #heretohelp #heartbreakcoaching #heartbreaklifecoaching #relationshipcoaching #divorcecoaching #breakupcoaching #breakupcoach #dontarmourup #boundaries #selfhelp #toorelievedtogrieve #karanscott #thealternativeheartbreakhandbook #karanscottauthor #karanscottcoaching #newbookrelease #authorsofinstagram #authorlife #writersofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CRTWIGyJSBc/?utm_medium=tumblr