#heiroic

[irninfidel]

just IN GENERAL how are other blood castes presented to kankri?? considering he's off spectrum entirely and there's no one 'like him' that his cullers can point to, how do they explain the hemospectrum and stuff to him?

okay so this is one of those things where like. i kind of assume it never has to be explained as such. his cullers certainly never explained it, as they’d assumed it was too above his head. but in general, it’s such a big part of daily life that everyone learns about it without being told.

he mostly picks up on how his cullers feel about other castes. like, if he pulls away from an olive, they’re much less likely to tell him he’s being rude than if he pulls away from a purple. they also badmouth other castes a lot (classic indigo behavior), so he remembers all those stereotypes as well. when he’s younger especially, he gets them mixed up, but he knows the broad strokes--yellows work w psionics, teals handle the law, violets are Royalty, etc.

his cullers would answer questions if he asked, but always through a very Beforan lens. so things like “well, she’s a rustie, she needs people to take care of her,” or “she’s a violet, you need to listen if she tells you what to do, she knows what’s best.” it does take him a while to realize that this is referring to their blood, and not the color they wear--by which i mean, when he’s really young, he assumes he is also considered an indigo by virtue of wearing that color and having that color on his (cullers’) signs. it’s one of those epiphanies where he sits up like “oh that’s their BLOOD” i think he just thought it was like a personality test before that

[irninfidel]

i am being self indulgent. before kankri meets mituna how much does he know about working/how are goldbloods presented to him by his cullers... hold on i need a new ask for this next question

i love you :/ SO kankri hears the same things about work as everyone else--it’s a privilege, golds are so lucky to be working for the empire in the way that they are, and we are all so grateful to them! ofc, his cullers want very little to do with any workers that pass by, so kankri never actually interacts with them all that much. he’s just kind of quietly grateful, because that’s what he’s always been told he should be.

he definitely has no concept of what work is. he knows psionics have something to do with electricity (on a very broad spectrum), so he’d assume work has something to do with that, but beyond that, he has no idea. that’s partially why he’s so quick to say that psionics’ work sounds terrible--everyone else got their propaganda while knowing that sometimes golds get hurt, etc, whereas kankri didn’t know about any of that. hearing about what work actually consists of is like eye-opening for him and one of many ways that he realizes how much he dislikes beforus.

now as for how goldbloods are presented! ofc he respected workers, but his cullers were always very uhhh upfront about how rude/gross/impolite they think most psionics are. this is probably part of why kankri ends up being so drawn to people like mituna tho djksfj what a backfire he meets mituna and he’s like “well yeah he’s loud and kind of gross but he isn’t TERRIBLE”

[voidslate]

@heiroic​ asked : “ you think you’ve been subtle? ” this is so sad

he doesn’t break eye contact. no matter how much he wants to. there is a certain type of decorum expected from someone of his standing, and backing down because someone of mituna’s standing wants him to do so doesn’t fall into that. 

now, he does break eye contact. he’s working very hard on controlling thoughts like those ones--and goodness, is it hard! he keeps his face as steady as possible when he looks back, but one slip-up has him halfway spiraling. so it wasn’t enough for him to be rubbing elbows with a lower blood hue  --  and not only that, but one who already has a matesprit  --  but the one who’s caught him out is perhaps the worst one who could’ve. none of them are fantastic at keeping secrets, but mituna is just very loud and very talkative. well, horuss doesn’t confide in many people, but if he did, mituna would be at the bottom of that list.

“       Mituna, I don’t know what you’re referring to, but it sounds like sensitive informanetion. A topic that is better discussed in private, or maybe not at all.     ”      boy, is he sweating. he doubts mituna will respond very positively to this mature discussion that he is trying to facilitate  --  he tries for a polite smile. mituna is fond of rufioh, much like everyone else is; surely they could come to an agreement here.

[irninfidel]

@heiroic asked : ❝ do you mind if we stay like this for a little longer? ❞

he has the distinct suspicion that his pile is wrong, somehow -- it’s all unfinished essays and books he got bored of soon after reading. piles are almost certainly meant to be things their builder won’t miss, but also important to said builder, at least, based on his research ( which he knows to be correct ) . and he’s accomplished both of those, and mituna didn’t make fun of him, so it should be fine. maybe it’s just the being close that makes him nervous, then. mituna’s all limbs, and he sprawls over the pile like he belongs there, a level of comfort that kankri’s yet to find. still, mituna’s warm. softer than most people give him credit for, in more ways than one. kankri unclenches his jaw, lets his shoulders relax  --  no one would call him comfortable, but he is trying to feel like he belongs in the space he carved out for himself here. he elbows mituna’s side just enough to move him over, then settles in that space, instead.    “     I’ve n9t g9t anywhere t9 6e f9r a while yet. Was there m9re that y9u wanted t9 talk a69ut ? 9r did y9u just want t9 sit ?      ”      and he isn’t uncomfortable with either of those ideas, it turns out.

[irninfidel]

@heiroic asked    :    ❛ Who’s blood is that? Is that your blood? ❜  

the game is a lot more difficult than any of them had expected, and he’s still catching up to everyone else; he is not very familiar with physical pain, and he is not at all familiar with his own body, and he hates the way the the two intersect. the warmth moving down his arm feels like a call for help ( you poor thing, are you hurt? ), and he does his best to cover it with his free hand.

he doesn’t look at the wound. he has never understood how people wear their shade so freely -- but then, theirs aren’t so obvious. so bright. he doesn’t look at the wound because he doesn’t need to, because he knows everyone around him will do enough looking for him. his eyes are burning from pain and embarrassment -- they do go hand in hand -- and that’s even worse, one more flash of color to catch their eyes.

“     I’m fine.     “      he steps back on instinct, looks off into the distance and blinks away the stinging. mituna isn’t going to do anything. he knows that. mituna’s blood is only a few shades cooler than his own -- mituna had liked him more when he found out about his mutation, if anything. still.     “      I can take care 9f it.    ”

[irninfidel]

@heiroic / playlist starter.

         he hasn’t yet figured out whether making a pile falls under the biological or cultural aspect of being a troll.  it doesn’t matter, really -- by definition, his biology differs, and he is beforan culture more than he is a participant in it. maybe when he was little, his culler ( his mind curls around the word caretaker, and he reminds himself of connotations ) tsked when he began to pile things up, led him away by the hand, said that isn’t f#r him t# d#. he doesn’t remember. the point is, he doesn’t have a pile, and the game isn’t exactly conducive to making one, and so he’s sat on the floor next to mituna and trying to figure out how to maneuver this.      “ it’s funny how distance makes everything seem small. ”

[irninfidel]

@heiroic : “ it wasn’t fair, what you did. it wasn’t fair, how i felt. ” /:

in my defense, it was something close.

“ Feelings can’t 6e unfair. ” it’s something he’s struggled to learn, much less accept  --  the knowledge that feelings are fine, that no one can blame you for feeling a certain way, comes with a heavy dose of relearning. then again, he’s been trying to relearn a lot of things lately. they aren’t sitting on a pile for this, and kankri feels like they should be, even as he thinks about his celibacy and kurloz and the fact that he’s certainly pitied mituna a lot recently, but not in the way that any healthy relationship can be built from. “ H9w much d9 y9u remem6er ? ” he bites his lip. “ It doesn’t matter, I’m s9rry f9r all 9f it. I just want t9 kn9w, I guess. Y9u d9n’t need t9 answer that. S9rry. ”