#heistverse rambles

[bodysnatch3r]

not the heistverse turning 10 years old THIS WEEK

[bodysnatch3r]

the actual clownery of me trying to compress two whole ass ages into roughly 100 human years. kill me. i had to make angrod and aegnor twins out of sheer desperation.

[bodysnatch3r]

vibrating in excitement at my tsaw 22 heistverse edits

[bodysnatch3r]

can y’all believe i wrote collateral damage in a little over a year? and on the other hand, possessed by light, the prequel, has been taking me half a fucking decade to write?

[bodysnatch3r]

I recently commissioned the amazing @fishfingersandscarves to draw Sam, Frodo, Merry and Pippin as they appear in the Heistverse, and it was honestly everything I’ve ever asked for. Fishy is incredible, and their art is so good!

Left to right: Samantha “Sam” Gamgee, Frodo Baggins, Miranda “Merry” Brandybuck, and Pedro “Pippin” Took. 

More info on these four under the cut.

Frodo Baggins: Their uncle Bilbo moved to Hobbiton, a small village outside London, but they frequently commute to attend university part-time. They’re bookish and quiet, and enjoy spending time by themselves. They’re a very humble person and are pursuing a Master’s degree in linguistics at University College London. 

Samantha “Sam” Gamgee: Her father works as the head municipal gardener for the town of Hobbiton and she sometimes helps around, especially on weekends when she’s in town visiting her parents. She studies environmental science at UCL and has a pretty big crush on Rosie, a bartender at the campus pub, the Green Dragon. She tends to see the best in everyone, and often finds herself in mediating positions. She’s rarely seen without her messenger bag which contains, amongst other things, a travel cooking set and a travel first-aid kit.

Miranda “Merry” Brandybuck: Merry is Samantha’s roommate in London, and studies international relations and environmental science. She’s a budding cartographer and loves hiking, often dragging her friends on nature trips. Most of her family lives in Bucklebury, the village neighbouring Hobbiton, and her father serves as mayor of the town. 

Pascal “Pippin” Took: Pippin is the son of Shire District Councillor Paladin Took, and currently works as a librarian. He tried going to university but didn’t like it much, and instead loves collecting knowledge on his own time and in his own way: as a result, he’s always certain to have something interesting in his pockets, like a rock or a funny-shaped stick. He also has a passion for coding, and loves writing his own programming codes.

[bodysnatch3r]

anyway. i got sad about heistverse th/orin. (tw for suicide and mental illness in general.)

he’s just in constant pain throughout the entirety of collateral damage? he’s unmedicated, under a considerable amount of stress, and by the end he’s dissociating so severely and so disjoined from the reality of what’s happening he makes some serious mistakes, and even manages to get people killed. he’s obsessive, he’s angry. he fucks up so badly, and does nothing to stop it, because he can’t. because he relapses very fast when his father dies, it triggers a whole onslaught of conflicted terrified feelings-- here is this man who has shaped my life and all of my existence and he is gone, and he goes through i think the similar refusal and anxiety that frerin went through years and years before and dis came into more quietly and easily because she had, let’s be honest, a better support system (which in part she crafted herself), that of recognising the exact implications his upbringing had on him and the knowledge that his father was, well, not a good man and not a good father (despite thrain’s efforts, whatever those were, and despite his wishes to be at least the latter, but thrain’s world was much too different from that of his children to ever not reap disastrous consequences).

anyway by the end of it thorin completely isolates himself because his pain is so big he cannot think of dealing with it in any other way. “non fugiamus ab bello”, we do not flee from a fight, is the family motto, and through everything thorin has taken it to heart. the idea of escaping is unimaginable to him, even when it is something necessary out of sheer survival-- not every battle is to be fought. not every pain is to be felt, teeth gritted, with no other help. and the same goes to recognising he is falling back into patterns of self-abuse and self-destruction, when he feels the flashbacks creep back and he cannot stop them-- i don’t know if he knew, way from the beginning, how it would all end. but i know the idea of his family that he’s made of himself, of this legacy thrain and thror left behind, of being thrain’s heir, shaped every single one of his moves.

...he’s just so lonely and ill in collateral damage and i want to fucking scream. all that matters is the heist, or the quest, and all that matters is reclaiming who he thinks he is supposed to be, as opposed to who he can be.

[bodysnatch3r]

@thrain oakenshield: meet me in the fucking pit

[bodysnatch3r]

when you’re in Special Interest Hell but it’s your own goddamn AU so you either annoy your friends and partner endlessly prattling about it or you sit and. scream