MY DEAREST HUSBAND
SYNOPSIS : Helaena decides to write a letter to her beloved before saying goodbye to the living world.
PAIRING : Helaena Targaryen x Male! Targaryen! Reader
WARNINGS : Mentions of death, suicide, depression, war, loss of a child.
The cold, icy wind slipped through the cracks of the open windows, making the linen curtains dance like shadowy specters. The dampness of the night clung to the air, and the distant sound of war echoed through the Red Keep, a relentless symphony of chaos and destruction. Outside, the cries of soldiers and the clash of steel composed a fierce melody of death and despair.
Helaena Targaryen, the princess who had been loved by her husband and was meant to be the mother of a child who never came to be, was alone in her chamber. Her figure, once full of life and color, now seemed faded, consumed by grief. She barely touched her meals, incapable of finding solace in anything or anyone. Her face, once the embodiment of gentleness, was now a pale shadow of what it had been. Her vacant, weary eyes stared without seeing, lost in memories that tormented her without end.
She walked slowly to the dark wooden desk by the window. Her trembling fingers brushed against the untouched parchment and the ink bottle. The quill lay still, waiting, but her heart urged her to write, as if somehow her words could reach her beloved beyond death.
She took a deep breath, feeling the weight of solitude, and began to write.
My dearest husband,
I do not know where to begin. Everything feels so dark without you. Sometimes, I wonder if the world still turns or if I have simply become trapped in an endless moment of despair. The war is devouring everything, but none of it matters to me. Not when you are no longer here.
Since you left, I have been an empty shell. Every corner of this fortress whispers your name. I keep searching for your shadow in the halls, longing to hear your laughter, to feel the warmth of your embrace. But I find only the cold of your absence, the echo of a love torn from my hands.
Aemond’s sword… the sword that pierced your back and stole you from me. I will never forget the sight. The throne, the blood, your motionless body, and that empty gaze that shattered me. My own brother took your life, and with it, he destroyed mine.
Our child… never took a breath in this cruel world. I had no strength to hold him, to see him, and now the weight of that choice crushes me. How could I have been so weak? Would it have changed anything if I had embraced him? If I had whispered his name, would it have given meaning to this empty existence?
Every night, in my dreams, we are together. You, our child, and I. As it was meant to be. But dawn always comes, cruel and unrelenting, reminding me that I am alone.
I wonder what you felt in your final moments. Pain? Fear? Did you think of me? Did you cry out my name? Gods, I wish I had been there, holding you, telling you that everything would be alright, even if it was a lie.
I promised you I would be strong, but I am not. I cannot go on without you. I have decided that soon, I will join you. Wherever you are, I want to be there too. This is the last thing I will write to you, my love. My farewell, my final goodbye.
I will love you always.
Your Helaena.
Silent tears fell onto the parchment, smudging some of the words, but it did not matter. She had poured her soul into every line.
She stood and placed the letter on the desk, beside a wooden butterfly her beloved had carved for her. She stroked it tenderly before stepping away toward the balcony. The wind tousled her silver hair, as if calling to her.
In her mind, she saw his face. For the first time in a long while, she felt a trace of peace. She took a step forward.
And the darkness embraced her.
— Maggie ☕
