Valentino's diary (Hell edition) [Read the related RP]
idk why im even fucking writing a stupid diary entry. this is so fucking dumb but whatever... Al told me to so ill try 😒
ill b honest. i really fucking wanted to have sex. i had- i had so much shit planned, fuck. i was gonna make him have the best night of his fucking life, i had so many ideas-
i mean, i- ugh, i dont know! it fucking sucks, that's it! i- i wanted to make him feel good, sex is MY thing, the one thing im really good at- and... he didnt want it?
i just... hes always so nice. he makes me feel so- so fucking good when we talk, like im special, like-
and i just wanted to make him feel good too. im not good with words, fuck, i suck at writing scripts for my movies... but sex? sex i know. so... why did it have to end? before it barely even started? i just... fuck.
tengo miedo. tengo miedo de perderle, de no ser suficiente, de que se dé cuenta de lo estúpido, puto pendejo que soy, y que decida dejarme. tiene unas palabras tan lindas, y mientras yo apenas puedo escribir media línea sin usar palabrotas. cómo podría nadie querer a alguien así...?
(im afraid. im afraid of losing you, of not being enough, of him realizing im stupid, fucking dumbass that i am, and deciding to leave me. he has such pretty words, and meanwhile i cant write half a line without swearing. how could anyone love someone like that...?)