Prompt:Â Light develops a crush on L and realizes he canât kill him
Summary:Â Falling in love wasn't part of the plan, but what does this mean for Light as he realizes that he really doesn't want L dead?
Author's note:Â I volunteered to make this gift since someone dropped out, and I hope you enjoy this despite how lame it is, ha ha. I know you said you wanted fluff, but even though it's mostly angst, there is some fluff!Â
An exhausted L was sleeping peacefully on his bed (a bed he and Light used to share a long time ago), a complete first for Light to witness. After L and the Task Force discussed the apparently real â13-dayâ rule, time got a hold of them and they had to get back home. Although he was allowed to leave, Light convinced his father to stay and help L with the rest of the investigation, despite the obvious disappointment on L and Soichiroâs faces. Once he dealt with that, L and Light tried to find a way to test the rule, which Light debunked Lâs theories several times. L didnât stay for long since he decided to take a nap. A nap that he wasnât going to wake up from soon later on.
Light still remembered those restless nights where L stayed up almost all night working on his laptop, the typing of his fingers keeping Lightâs eyes wide open. He also remembered how coldly he responded when Light complained about it. âIf Light-kun wishes to sleep, then he should sleep. If you are really that tired, then it should be easy for you to fall asleep.â
Those nights were even worse with those damned handcuffs jangling with his movements.
And despite that, Light ended up caring for L; way more than he wanted admit. In fact, he fell in love with the detective. He wasnât still sure why or how it happenedâhis memories of him being well, memoryless, were very fuzzy. He wanted to slap himself for it; the plan was to trick everyone from discovering his identity as Kira, not to also fall in love with his enemy.
He hated him, oh how he hated him for changing his feelings that way. How dare he do whatever he did to make him fall in love with L. None of this was fair.
A deep sigh erupted from the sleeping detective and Light tried to control the urge to punch him for interrupting his thoughts. Light inspected him carefully. L was curled up in a fetal position, his thumb near his mouth. What used to be just deep, dark circles, they now looked purple, as if someone had punched him brutally. The case must have gotten to him. It was a sad thing really: Here was The Worldâs Greatest Detective looking so utterly pathetic like a crushed insect. But he wonât be for long, Light thought, his days are numbered.
All he needed was his real name and he was out of the way. If everything went as planned, L will be dead before he uncovered the truth.
It really is a shame, isnât it, L? We donât have to do this. Why donât you just surrender to me and accept that I am the justice the world needs? Then again, it is more fun this way.
âLight-kun.   .   .â
His thoughts were interrupted once again. He observed the apparent sleeping detective shifting his movements, whispers and small shudders filling out the room as L rapidly made his movements frequent.
Light felt a shiver of disgust pass through him, already having an idea of what L could have been dreaming about.
âLight-kun.   .   .â
Ah, there it was again.
âLight-kun.   .    .â
He wanted him to say it once more. Somehow it was turning him on how L was whispering his name, as if it was the most important word that has ever existed. Say it again, L. Itâs good to know that you want me so desperately.
âLight-kun.   .   .â L whispered again, as his arms reached out to hold whatever was in front of him, probably the Light that was in his dreams.
Light leaned in closer to L and trailed his hand delicately across his cheek. âYes, Ryuzaki?â He said softly.
But what L did wasnât what he expected. Suddenly, L joined his hands slightly, and his wrists were moving uncontrollably. As he did so, his fingers trembled as he was applying pressure to whatever was in front of him.
âLight-kun,â L muttered in his slumber. âIâm sorry things have to end this way. Since there is no evidence, itâs the least I can do to defeat Kira once and for all.â And then he shook his hands with so much force.
Light was appalled to what he was witnessing. L was dreaming about choking him to death!
He wanted to wake him up, to slap him for dreaming of him that way. Something. And yet, he stayed, wondering what he was going to do next.
L continued to shake his hands for a full minute until he abruptly loosened the force of his hands, and a sob escaped from his mouth.
âNo. I canât do this. I donât want to do this.â
Hmm? Light raised an eyebrow. What was he planning now?
âI wish things were easier for us,â L said evenly. âI donât want to kill you.â
âWhy not?â Light couldnât help but ask.
âBecause this isnât fair. I should get the evidence first, and then send you to your execution. I donât want to be the one to kill you.â He said it so easily, as it were just a small nuisance for him.
Light felt disappointment. So he doesnât feel the same way about me. He knew it was too good to be true. Of course L wouldnât want him; he was focused on his goal. Unlike me, he thought bitterly. He did the right thing to do and I didnât. Â I shouldnât have allowed myself to care for him. Â Itâs like I told myself before, falling for someone is for idiots. Maybe after heâs dead, my feelings will go away, thatâs all I hope.
And yet, Light circled his arms around the sleepy detective and held him against him. Maybe he imagined it, but L sighed contentedly as his head landed on his chest. Light reached for his hair and passed a hand thoroughly, massaging the scalp every now and then. Light was aware of his breathing against him, aware that this might be the last time he will hold him like this. The only person who wants to give him this much affection is the same person who wishes his death. Now, wasnât that a shame?
L slowly opened his eyes and noticed the body close to him. He thought he was still dreaming, Light wouldnât hold him like this, itâs not like he wanted to. And yet, here he was doing exactly that. Do you care about me the same way I care about you, Light, or this just another game of yours? There was only one way to find out.
L suddenly pulled away from Light and gave him a hard kiss on the mouth. He didnât have much experienced with kissing, but that was the only affection he could come out with.
A surprised Light kept his eyes wide open at the sudden change of events and when he relaxed and closed his eyes, he kissed L back with the same intensity. If I die in the next few days, I want this to be my fondest memory of you, L thought. As they pulled apart, they were both left breathless.
âRyuzaki?â
âShhh,â L shushed with another kiss and this time there was nothing else to say. Light let L get on top of him, and the need to feel skin-to-skin contact was the only thing they wanted to do.
They both had the same thought: Â I donât want you gone.
#project hail mary
#lana del rey
