Hello! How about 21 for your Spotify wrapped? 👯
HI! I am so fucking sorry this took me forever. This one was a massive challenge for me because 21 on my Spotify Wrapped is Counting Worms by Knocked Loose. For any of you that know, Counting Worms is thirteen words long so I had to process how I wanted to handle this. (And work fucking sucks and I'm exhausted as hell but that's beside the point.) I hope you enjoy this. I actually love it a lot more than I thought I would. 🖤
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'I wrote a song about getting better, it's a feeling I don't remember'
Steve stares at the words on the page, looking up to cock an eyebrow at Eddie, "What comes next?"
Eddie stifles a laugh. "Nothing does, Stevie. That's it."
Steve scrunches his nose, confused. "Thats--the song? That like ten words."
Eddie grabs the paper from him and smiles down at it. "It's thirteen words, big boy. And its--sometimes it's not about the amount of words. It's about feeling something."
Steve tries not to blush. Big boy certainly did a number on him. He would never fucking admit that--but, it is what it is.
He shakes he his head, to try and clear his thoughts, "Sure."
Steve watches as Eddie's smile widens, eyes crinkling in the corners. Christ.
"Did you?" Steve asks.
"Did I what?" Eddie questions.
"Did you ever get better?"
Eddie's smile softens then. "I'm working on it."
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Steve always knew he was something--something not straight. He just didn't really have a word for it, and he tried not to dwell on it. Didn't get caught with drifting eyes in locker rooms, made sure Tommy wouldn't tell a soul about what they got up to. He didn't. Tommy might be an asshole but he wouldn't out himself or Steve…
Anyway, Steve always knew. He always knew and he had told Robin a few months after Starcourt. She helped him find the words for it. Bisexual. So Steve knew what he was, but he was fine ending up with a woman. That's just what he always figured would happen
But Eddie? Eddie changed everything.
Robin had told him just to fucking talk to him. She said that he was being a hypocrite because he had helped her get her shit together enough to talk to Vickie after everything and it had worked out--at least for a bit--but that's beside the point. The point is Robin had asked Vickie out and Steve just stared at Eddie talking, at Eddie playing D&D with kids, at Eddie writing music. He just watched.
He was scared because Eddie? Eddie was loud and confident and interesting and important.
Steve was just…Steve.
What would he even say?
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It'd been a few months since Steve had found the song. Thirteen words.
He couldn't stop thinking about it.
'It's about feeling something.'
He still hadn't said anything to Eddie, but he needed to…Well, he wanted to.
There's only a couple of days left until the kids have winter break, and Steve is expecting them to invade his home as per usual so he has been cleanly all fucking day listening to Abba and thinking about Eddie Munson's stupid fucking hands.
He was feeling impulsive--he could talk to Eddie--he could. Eddie had said it wasn't about the amount of things he had to say it just had to mean something…right?
Steve grumbles out a sigh before stomping over to the phone. He dials out the number--has it memorized by now. It's late, he listens to the line trilling as the clock turns. 10:12 pm.
"Thanks for calling the bat cave." Eddie rambles off.
"Yeah, hi batman. It's Steve."
Eddie laughs over the line. "Stevie! To what do I owe the late night call?"
Steve steels himself. "Listen, I--can I come over?"
"Uh--yeah? Are you okay?" Eddie asks and Steve shakes his head, not that Eddie can see it anyway.
"I'm--I just--I'll be over in a few." Steve breathes. He can do this. It's fine.
"Okay, S. Just be safe--alright?"
Steve mumbles out an affirmative before hanging up and grabbing his keys.
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He only paces outside of Eddie's door for a minute or two before he knocks lightly. Eddie is quick to answer, looking ridiculously hot for a man wearing worn out sweats and one of a thousand old band tees. He looks worried and Steve feels bad about that but--he's just gotta--
"Can we go to your room?" Steve asks and Eddie lets out a shocked laugh before nodding and heading back through the apartment. Steve follows behind.
He stands frozen in the bedroom doorway, watches as Eddie sits on the edge of his bed with head cocked to the side.
"What's going on Stevie? Was it the nightmares again because--"
Steve shakes his head, and swallows before just--going for it.
"Look--I've been--running so many things through my head. I've written speeches and songs--which is sort of your thing. So, I stopped that. But--I have thought over and over again about how to say what I need to say.
And you--you told me 'it's not about the amount of words, it's about feeling something.
And when I look at you? I feel everything--
And I just--I just needed you to know."
Eddie blinks up at Steve, eyes wide. Great. Steve fucking scared him. Awesome this is great. This was a really fucking awesome idea Steve. Nice--
"That was a lot more than thirteen words, sweetheart." Eddie smirks at him and Steve feels his heart stutter at the name.
Steve breathes, "Yeah well--did I fuck everything up?"
Eddie moves from his bed then, quick to meet Steve in the doorway. Steve is quiet. He watches as Eddie's eyes move from Steve's own, down to his lips and back up again.
Eddie brings a hand up to cup his cheek and Steve can't help the soft noise that escapes his throat. The other man swipes his thumb over Steve's cheekbone. "No Stevie, I really don't think you did. I'm gonna kiss you now, okay?"
Steve can't do anything other than nod.
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