Me + meeting Stephanie Romanov at HellmouthCon this year (I made her the jean jacket).
Never in my life could I imagine meeting someone I looked up to for more than ten years. I started watching the show Angel when I was a kid and really fell in love with Lilah Morgan. And this might sound crazy for anyone who has watched the show, but there was something in Lilah that made me feel safe and happy. Not only that, but her character was strong and confident in a lot of ways while also being vulnerable (which I think is very important because being strong all the time isn’t everything). I never realized back then how hard it was not having a mom because I look back and I remember wanting Lilah to fill that role. Something I think I should be really embarrassed to say but I’m just not - and it’s something I’ve carried with me all these years.
That’s partly taking this trip was such a huge deal for me. It was so important for me and I’m proud that I did it. A lot of people don’t understand how hard it is for me to live in this world. How hard it is to have anxiety and go through life without physical assistance while constantly being vulnerable. How hard it is to be so chemically imbalanced you want to die. I never imagined I would have been able to do this on my own and while it was Not easy, I am so proud of myself.
It’s been a very intense year for me. From suffering a bad fall, being committed for something I didn’t do, losing my grandparents, getting treated for depression and anxiety and also being diagnosed as autistic. Sometimes I don’t always realize how much everything takes a toll on me but I am so much better now then I have ever been and I did it all on my own. I’d like to think my parents would be proud of me.
I’m saying all these things because I really want the people I know and love to see me and understand me as much as I try to do for them. They say you should never meet your hero’s but it’s a lie. Thank you Stephanie.
P.S I made Stephanie a jacket that you can see in the photo of us. Many people know by now it’s my love language and I am really proud of how it turned out. Being able to give her that gave me a bit of peace and a chance to rest. Stephanie was incredibly nice and kind to me (even when the one photographer was stressing me out). She was trying not to cry and I was trying not to have a panic attack. She also met my cousin Lily (who is so incredible and awesome to come with me for some of the convention) and she absolutely fell in love with her. It means so much to me to be able to share something so deeply personal to me with someone I love. ♥️
more fun photos from hellmouth con, with SDCC happening recently and the new cast list coming out for the sequel show + a new comic line being announced i thought i'd post these photos from my trip to the hellmouth ❤️🧛♂️
Exciting news! James Marsters & Christian Kane will be performing an acoustic concert together at Hellmouth Con Sat June 14! Tickets for the concert will go on sale from 7AM PDT Wed May 7th!