#hellth

[literalbirdperson]

Not being able to eat dairy, gluten, soy, tree nuts, egg, or fish/shellfish for the past six months has sent me several layers deep into Health Food Grocer Hell, and I'm starting to see patterns.

Allergy-friendly food seems to fall into these categories, which I've ordered from least to most egregious: 1) Having allergies sucks! This food, packaged in a dedicated nine-allergy-free facility, will make it suck slightly less 2) my hippie family has been using this recipe since the 70s, and we're sharing it unchanged and un-updated because we love you 3) my son Braedan/daughter Taylee, who has every disease, needed a safe snack food. I developed this recipe, and then decided to share it with the world in his/her honor 4) this vegan protein will teach you parkour (and probably make you horribly bloated) 5) I don't understand what a chemical is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. also, it's organic! 6) the fewer ingredients a food has, the tastier it is. so this two-ingredient sprouted buckwheat flour bread is going to knock your fucking socks clean off 7) buying this brand makes you morally superior and will also save the planet. everyone who does NOT buy this brand is basically committing murder and doesn't believe climate change is real. we're also implying that if you read this description and then don't buy our product, you are even worse than they are I DON'T WANT TO SUPPORT MOST OF YOU BUT I ALSO WANT TO NOT DIE

[kokomiin]

I’m sorry this is so fucking funny

[onlyhurtforaminute]

HELLTH-DAMAGE CONTROL

[papika]

had blood drawn earlier! and then i have an ultrasound on monday, which is like. exciting, kinda? reason being—

i’ve been on my period for basically over a fucking year now, or really closer to one and a half? i think? OR HONESTLY MAYBE LONGER, which is kinda insane and somewhat worrying! though in the longer timeframe, i did have a few times where i’d have a couple weeks off and then it would pick pack up.

but yeah, the last year has been pretty constant.

at first i wrote it off as being just some pcos nonsense but yeah this is abnormal even for that, so i’m having some tests done and GOD i want to know what the deal is. what the fuck! i would like my uterus to stop!

the main reason i haven’t gotten tests done before this is, again, because of the pcos thing, and because i also kept forgetting to mention it to the doctor as being An Issue up until my last two or so visits. deep sigh.

hopefully it’s nothing serious, but god mostly i want to know so i will Stop Bleeding. it’s thankfully usually pretty light, or else it would be MUCH more concerning to have been bleeding for this long. because, like, anemia is a thing that exists. but no, it’s usually enough to wear a pantyliner most days—sometimes not even that, bc it’s just enough to notice while i’m wiping—so i’m not too concerned about blood loss.

but god it is so fucking ANNOYING to be constantly on your period. the cramps! the hormones! the mood swings! the bleeding! the fact that u never really feel that clean unless u’ve literally just showered! good god.

[literalbirdperson]

Fun health updates!

In my ongoing quest to get all documentation I possibly can, I went to see my ENT (my gastroenterologist did not have high hopes, but he recommended I get checked just in case)

ENT agrees that he can't help me with the ongoing mystery problem and says I should see an allergist.

This officially makes my allergist the only doctor who doesn't think I need to see an allergist

Thankfully, my appointment with my new allergist is coming up.

ENT also cultured a sample from a chronic adenoid infection that he says I've probably had for literal years. The plan was to see if it was simple to treat without setting off another episode. Not super important at the moment, but it might be nice to have a little win.

Three days later, lab results come back. ENT informs me that I've got five specifies of bacteria just chilling, and three of them are antibiotic resistant strains.

"This would be nice to fix it if it won't make things worse" has become "we are addressing this immediately."

I'm the coolest unicorn, man. All my doctors know I am one, they just can't decide what *kind* I am.

[literalbirdperson]

messages to your partner that seem normal to chronic illness havers

[literalbirdperson]

With apologies to Margaret Hamilton

[literalbirdperson]

Happy one-year anniversary to being hospitalized because my throat was so inflamed that I couldn't drink water

One-year anniversary to cutting gluten/dairy/egg/soy/tree nut/fish + shellfish out of my diet

And roughly year and a half anniversary to the swallowing problems starting

120+ vials of blood, 3 xrays, one MRI, genetic testing, an echocardiogram, an ultrasound, kidney imaging, occupational therapy, seven specialists

And 0 diagnoses