jax headcanons!! involving kinger, queener, and ragatha!!
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so i’m hooked on the idea that jax joined the circus as a child, so i decided to be silly and come up with my own headcanons for it
jax arrived in the digital circus very young, maybe.. 6 or 7. he, of course, was confused and panicked, but queener immediately helped to calm him down. and as time went on, kinger, queener and jax ended up becoming a little family in the circus.
they would read to him before bed, help him eat, run around with him, everything loving parents do!
but, as he got older, maybe around.. 13, he wanted to leave. he wanted to leave the circus and find kinger and queener in real life, since his own life was awful. him entering the circus was a way to escape.
unfortunately, the two had to explain to him that there’s no exit, and he’s stuck there. but that they were with him! and that they’ll take care of him.
he had a breakdown that day, and it lasted a few days. and queener felt absolutely distraught that her son, her prince, was going through this. so what did she do?
she looked for an exit.
from when jax was 13, to when he was 18, queener kept looking for an exit. at first, kinger helped, hoping that she’d give up after a while. but she didn’t. during this time, ragatha joined (dont take this to heart ill change it up when we get timelines of when everyone joined), and her and jax grew close, having a sort of unspoken older sister, younger brother relationship.
but eventually, queener drove herself insane to the point of abstracting.
everyone; jax, kinger, ragatha, gangle, kaufmo, zooble, and a few others (who later disappear before pomni appears), witnessed it.
and jax? oh, the poor boy. he was broken. caine ended up coming around as gangle went to grab him, and he opened up the cellar. he picked her up to put her in, but jax didn’t want that.
he reached out, grabbing ahold of her, being lifted off the ground. kinger panicked, reaching to grab jax’s feet. with the help of ragatha, they pulled him down. kinger held onto jax tightly as he reached out to abstracted queener. caine sealed her away, before turning his attention to jax, who just cried out for his mom.
he just sat there, his condition.. not the best. due to the contact, he started the pre-abstraction phase, his entire body quickly being consumed by the glitch.
caine reacted quickly, this being the first time he’s had to save someone before they abstracted. due to this, some of his coding wasn’t back to normal. he can break the filter, but chooses not to unless need be. it also explains all his keys. he didn’t just find them laying around. (i’ll add a few more things when i think of them.)
the rest of the day, everyone was quiet. kinger locked himself in his room, wanting to be alone. jax did the same, but often just hid around, hoping not to be found.
and that night, jax stood in front of his mirror, just staring at his reflection. he almost didn’t recognize himself.
he was crying.
he hadn’t cried in years, much less any serious tears. queener and kinger were always there for him, to help him calm down.
but this time? he was alone.
he couldn’t understand why his fur was wet, why he couldn’t stop crying. it wouldn’t stop. the tears wouldn’t stop.
so he went to the only person he felt comfortable with.
knocking on her door, ragatha answered, looking up. “jax..?” she asked, a look of shock on her face.
jax stood there, a hand feeling his face as he stared down at her, utterly confused. “my.. my face is wet. it won’t stop.”
“why won’t it stop?”
and ragatha just pulled him in to a hug, and jax didn’t realize he was audibly crying until ragatha rubbed his back, and cooed, “it’s okay. just let it all out. you’re okay, i’m here.”
he spent the night in her room, and they talked.
“why does it hurt so much? it- it's like.. there's a pit in my body, it's so hard to breathe?"
"because it's a loss, jax."
"but i lose a bunch of things-- i don't know why this hurts so bad."
"because it's her."
"what?"
"you're hurting, because you lost her. your mind knows she isn't coming back, but your heart- doesn't. you watched her be put into the cellar, she's gone, jax. and it's hurting because you know she isn't going to come back."
"..but.. she's still alive.."
"..i know."
"..why does it hurt so much..? she's not-- dead, i don't-"
"it's just the way things work, hun. it's.. it's going to be hard, but you'll get through it. we're all right here with you, it'll be okay."
i’ll summarize the rest.
jax ends up hating how he feels, he hates crying, he hates being so sad. so he starts to cope differently. he makes jokes, he becomes more sarcastic, more cold and uncaring for the well being of others. his grief turns him into who he is when we see him during the pilot.
writingn this while sick killed my eyes cuz im not wearing my glasses LOL anyway judt had to thrownhis out there when im unsick ill draw more ok bye guys 🎉