In lighter news, today at the food bank there was a frozen meats bin with packages of hot dogs and liverwurst, and there were also some random cardboard boxes strewn in that said, in handwriting, "hot dogs, take entire box."
I asked the staff if that instruction was for them or for us, and they said go for it. So I took the entire box. We're talking a box the size of two-thirds of the entire lower deck of my freezer. On the walk home I was mentally counting how many packs might be inside, and was rearranging my freezer to make them fit.
When I actually got home, I realized why the box had been marked that way: These weren't packs of frozen hot dogs. It was a single bag, open and loose!! We're talking dozens and dozens of hot dogs!
It was quite inconvenient to fit the entire box in my freezer, as opposed to a bunch of individual packages of 6 or 8, but I finally got there.
I boiled some up right away. Frozen, they smelled rather unpleasantly "chemical"-ey, but I figured it was just the smoke and hoped for the best. Boiled (i.e., the lazy mate's version of steamed), they tasted absolutely delicious. Like, some of the best hot dogs I've had in a long time. They sat well, too, with a satisfied belly and waves of euphoria afterward. Usually, I can't eat much "hot dog meat" in one go because whatever's in it does not spark joy in my stomach. But these ones sat super duper nicely! Good quality, I guess—and the weird smell in their frozen state was indeed related to the smoky flavor, and once prepared they're quite nice. There's no nutritional information on the package, so I can only guess at the sodium (which I am intolerant of), but no ill effects thus far.
The only name on the pack was the company's, Hempler's, which actually turns out to be a local meat company in my region. So that explains why the quality is so good! I can definitely recommend these if you ever see them. I'm not sure which exact product they are, as the Hempler's website says they make six different kinds of franks, but they look a lot like either the beef franks or the beef wieners.
On the walk home I was mentally calculating how much this would cost at retail. I figured it had to be $50 at a bare minimum. Now, knowing they're a local company and these are high-quality beef franks, I realize that it's more like $100, maybe even more. Though since these came in a single loose bag and were marked for institutional use, I figure they'd probably be priced at wholesale rather than retail. Still...wow! I've been on a pretty bland diet lately due to my financial situation, so this is a very lovely mental enrichment for your beloved author.