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Do you believe Hephaistion was the love of Alexander’s life?

YES, absolutely.

But define “love of my life.”

I don’t mean that in a cheeky way.

In the modern world, “love of my life” is usually 1) interpreted in a romantic sense, and 2) in an exclusive (sexual) relationship.

Neither would have applied to Alexander and Hephaistion. So wrap up those modern Romance-novel tropes, please, and stop imposing modern notions on ancient people, who didn’t share them. ;)

This is about EMOTIONAL ties, not physical. Alexander died less than a year after Hephaistion. He literally couldn’t live without him. This isn’t some “romantic nonsense,” but backed up by real-life examples. I wrote about it in “The Mourning of Alexander the Great,” and in the co-authored piece with Gene Borza, “Some New Thoughts on the Death of Alexander the Great.”

That said, sexual exclusivity is relatively modern, and at least somewhat (in the west) a product of Christianity, Judaism, and/or Islam.

The idea that they should be sexually exclusive to each other wouldn’t have been shared by either in a society were men were assumed to have multiple sexual partners of both genders, and where heirs were necessary. This wasn’t just for the king, but for Hephaistion, too, who would have owned estates back in Macedonia.

So that “sex” and “love” went together is recent!

That said, in the novels I do present Hephaistion as unsual in equating the two, but its for HIM. This isn’t assumed to be the norm–quite the opposite, actually. This is an intentional “invite” for modern readers who may find ancient attitudes off-putting. So Hephaistion is their “ramp,” if you will, into ancient attitudes.

That said, this attitude of Hephaistion’s is very much “odd” and understood to be so by the novels’ characters. Alexander doesn’t make fun of it, but he also doesn’t quite “get it,” either.

All that said, Hephaistion IS very much the love of Alexander’s life–and the reverse–understanding that emotional connection is quite separate for the Greeks from anything physical.

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