Just Breathe
Some days you’re just living. We all have days where we feel that nothing else can go wrong or maybe we feel it will never get better. Life is hard. Some days it’s just putting one foot in front of the other and that’s all you have the energy for and some days you are sprinting through the day without a thought.
As a mother of two, life can be difficult. Raising my daughter had it’s challenges, but it was easy compared to others. She is a strong and determined first year college student. She knows what she wants and she is focused on reaching her goal. I thought she would be the most difficult of the two to raise. Not saying she doesn’t have her moments, but for the most part, it has been relatively “easy”. As a mother of a 15 year old son who has just started really dating, my life has been turned upside down. He’s had interest in girls before that didn’t bother me. I gladly picked them up and took them places so they could spend time together, but this is different. I am at a loss for what to do. His dad has decided to take the reins on directing his son in this new moment of life and guide him on dating. My husband and I definitely disagree on how to handle the situation. He has the opinion that it’s ok to be exclusive and committed to only this young lady. I feel that at 15, my son should be more concerned about getting to know her as a friend first and then build on that.
With my husband being so involved in our son’s relationship, there has been quite a bit of contention between us. I don’t feel that at 15 they should be in such a committed, exclusive relationship and my husband on the other hand is encouraging the commitment. This is evidenced by the choice of gifts he has instructed my son to get for his girlfriend - such as a necklace, a ring with their initials and an infinity bracelet with their names. What happened to the silly tacky stuffed animals or the homemade jewelry items - not items bought from a jewelry store. To top it off, the mother of the girlfriend is the same way as my husband. I am fighting a losing battle.
My heart breaks for my son. I think he likes the girl. He has told her he loves her, but it’s apparent he doesn’t really know what that word means and what it means to her. He is a 15 year old boy. He expressed to me that he likes her but isn’t sure if he loves her. He says other things to me that indicate he doesn’t feel the way his dad says he feels. I’m not sure if he is lying to me because he is afraid of disappointing me or if he lies to his dad because he just wants to be accepted by his dad, but I know that I don’t want to put my son in the middle of struggle between his father and me.
It would be so much easier if my husband and I were on the same page about this, but we are not. I have to make the choice to step back and let my son navigate this new stage in life. If he asks for advice, i will share my thoughts with him - and let him make the decisions.
Dating isn’t easy. Watching your son date is even harder. Sometimes all I can do is Just Breathe.
