#hetalia-headcanons

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

If Hetalia was written in 2025, France would be a performative male who wears a quarter zip and thinks he has the “female gaze”

~ Mod Pelutze

[the-dutch-hetalian-blog]

HMHMH SMELLS LIKE EGGS ( I got this from hetalia-headcanons go follow them its great )

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

i kinda debating about saying this but lets be honest

alfred would not be a leftist he'd be a centrist at MOST.

and i'm not saying that because im a centrist or republican, i fucking DETEST the right i hate trump i hate billionaires i consider myself woke and all that shit im very far-left

sure alfred wouldn't be racist homophobic and all that of course not and sure he'd hate nazis but he's not gonna be the trump hating elon musk hating person some of the fandom wants him to be.

he's the type of person to say bs like "some people are left-wing some people are right-wing but you need two wings to fly"

but that's just my opinion, if you wanna make fanart of him stomping on trump or whatever go ahead i can't stop you, i just had to get it off my mind

~ Mod Pelutze

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

highkey lowkey the ages in hetalia don't make sense and I want to change some of them in my interpretation but at the same time I don't wanna be those weeb guys who are like "yeah she may be 13 in canon, but I goon to her adult form!"

This is why I often make some of them older or younger based on not just how long they've been around, but also how quickly they matured into the stage of an empire or a more secure settlement/kingdom/powered state, you know? So that with Germany, for example, he can still be around 19-20 because he ended up being forced to expand and develop into an empire rapidly, whereas nations like France - who have been around for almost 1,400 years or more by some estimates, can be 35 or more because he would have been established as a mature being much longer ago than Germany, who has only been around for about 155 years total. Just a thing to think about!

-Mod Gilbird

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

France and England’s house smells like alcohol + wine and cigarettes (they are married in my head so they share a house)

One moment they’d be arguing over bills + the dumbest shit ever, next England’s getting cracked by France and making sounds that he’s never made before. He has a very ugly moan but its ear-raping sound severely turns on France

They sleep in separate rooms, though France frequently walks into England’s bedroom to annoy him because deep down he misses when they used to share a bed

They have a marriage counsellor and they argue in their counselling sessions

~ Mod Pelutze

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

I choose to believe that the narrator lady is the personification of the Earth

~ Mod Pelutze

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

I find sweden hetalia funny , imagine being the only other character with a confirmed sexuality aside from the main canon pairing . You run off with your misstress (whos a guy) because your bruh was a massive dickhead and then for the next 500 years you decide to become a huge menace in northern europe and kick Denmark's nuts really hard and steal his fuck buddy , then calming the fuck down and settling in some nice house in suburbia raising 2 adopted micronation kids , one of which he bought from ebay, a dog and has a wife who is the same guy he ran away with, the guy is still utterly confused how it just ended up like this... hes cool with it but just kinda baffled by the series of events that led up to this

~ Mod Pelutze

[evil-hetalia-hot-takes]

No one can convince me that Liechtenstein is not lobotomized her eyes are empty and like she’s never, or rarely sad or mad or anything negative she looks like she’s just there and happy to be Switzerland’s little sister and I don’t like that…

Maybe she was lobotomized in an orphanage before Switzerland took her in.

She was traumatized by what happened in the orphanage, the staff members noticed that and gave her an unlicensed lobotomy to make her forget the trauma and be happy forever. She was playing outside one day and ran off the property thinking she could find her way back, but she got lost and sat in an alleyway alone in the rain until Switzerland adopted her. Weird how he never questioned her odd behaviours…🤨

~ Mod Pelutze