I’ve debated about blogging for sometime... I am a mom, a wife..a daughter..there is a lot more to me than that but we will start with that. Life has thrown me more curveballs in the last 12 years maybe more and I’m not even sure where to begin but if my life or something like it can help or even make one person realize they aren’t alone in there own craziness or curve balls that life throws them then this blog is for them...
I could start at the beginning but really that seems like a lifetime ago... I mean ok I’m not that old but here’s the thing... I’m to young to be old and to old to be young.. so I guess I’m somewhere in between.
I’ve always been a writer at heart.. stories, journals, diaries as a kid.
I say 12 years because that’s when my world was turned upside down. My husband and I found out we were pregnant... we were so excited!! Planning the babies room... furniture shopping ... we were so excited to find out we were having a boy!
The first ultra sounds were good. My pregnancy was normal besides having awful morning sickness that was more like all day sickness. At 18 weeks we had an ultra sound and my mom came this time. The tech just kept going over the same area and not talking.
Now I am one who knows when something isnt right..and this just wasn’t normal. She finally said I can’t see what we need to with his heart. My own heart broke tears flowed and panic had set in. My mom being my mom was like well we need a doctor to come in and tell us what this means because it’s Friday and my daughter can’t wait all weekend to know what that means. She was so calm and me well I was a disaster... I had so many thoughts going through my head and I had to call my husband....
After a bit of time a doctor did come in and said we can’t see what we need to with your sons heart... so we need further tests.. meaning a level 2 ultra sound.
Again my mind a fury of thoughts and panic.
My thought being this..I had always wanted to be a mom and You get in your mind all the movies and shows that show having a baby with no problems all sunshine and rainbows but in the real world that’s just not the case...