I went to go see a production of Shrek the Musical, and during the first scene with Farquaad (You know, the “run run run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me... I’M THE GINGERBREAD MAN” part), the soldiers all had different kitchen utensils, and one guard had a carton of milk because, cookies. So I’m watching, and the guard is holding the carton with the Nutrition Facts facing out, so I’m like “oh, I wonder what that says”, because I’m weird and need to read everything on stage, and guess what the facts were? THE FUCKING LYRICS TO ALLSTAR AND THE NAME OF THE MILK BRAND ON THE CARTON WAS ALLSTAR MILK LIKE WTF THESE SHREK ENTHUSIASTS ARE OUT OF CONTROL