#hibernicising

[soul-stress]

Existing

I roll over to check my phone

My room is dark

And it’s 4 pm, on a Saturday.

I don’t know what I was expecting,

Was anyone going to miss me?

Was anyone going to look for me?

And if they did, was that going to change how I feel?

I don’t want to move from this place,

In between pillows, in the middle of my bed.

I feel safe, I don’t have to care about what’s happening outside.

I don’t have to care about feelings, including my own.

My life, the one that I’m living, feels like it’s happening someone that’s not me.

I’m floating, existing, letting be what lives,

The oxygen I breathe feels hollow,

And tight, just like a pair jeans 2 sizes

Too small.