#high control groups

[furiousgoldfish]

Am I in a cult or a high-control group? Checklist

(It can be non-religious, but isn't gonna work for every single high control group, they're getting sneaky)

Providing community in times of need (love bombing)

Did I become a part of a welcoming community during a time of my life when I needed support and comfort, or was searching for purpose?

Did this community make me feel valued and special when I had everyone else in my life look down on me, or abandon me?

Did this community recognize something in me that nobody else did, and validated/explained to me what it means?

Have they offered reasoning, purpose and guidance that I desperately needed at the time?

Was the community's treatment of me same at the beginning and later, or did some of the warmth taper off, and rules got stricter as time went on?

You are special, here's the rulebook

Am I a part of special group of people who were chosen to save the humanity in some way, or the only ones with a chance to be saved?

Am I a part of a group who has important and sacred knowledge, and if only the rest of humanity would listen, the world would be better for it?

Is there a certain source of writings or rules that are considered the ultimate truth, and I need to adhere my whole life to it?

Am I allowed regular human freedoms like, taking walks, eating when and what I feel like, making my appearance individual or interesting as I please, without having to ask anyone or doubt if it's okay?

Am I encouraged to analyze situations and come to my own judgment, or are there certain rules I'm supposed to follow when thinking, and conclusions I'm supposed to reach? Would I be reprimanded for reaching a different conclusion?

Do we believe there is deep evil in this world, and it's being shown to us in certain human behaviours, that used to seem normal? (like drinking certain drinks, eating certain foods, making your own judgment calls, certain kinds of sexual behaviour)

Is the community convinced a certain catastrophe/great blessing will befall us, and this is why we don't need to worry about the current state of the environment or the quality of life? Is the focus only on preparing for the destined event/making it happen?

Are my finances wrapped up in this community, to the point where leaving would mean I wasted a lot of my money and labour?

You don't Need Them (You Only Need Us)

Have I been encouraged to avoid people who think or act a certain way, and to end friendships or contact with them, when they were not doing any harm to me?

Have I stopped socializing with my usual friends since joining this group, and gained distance from family members I used to like spending time with?

Have I critically examined people from the past to judge them over how wrong they've been about things, as opposed to community I'm in now?

Have I been encouraged to cut off family members and friends who don't agree with the community's beliefs or practices?

Is this community my only source of human contact, comfort, stability and safety? Would I lose everything if I left?

Would I be in danger of losing my job, my place of living or my financial situation if I left this community?

Am I in danger of losing the people closest to me if I leave, or change my beliefs so they no longer align with this community?

Will my friends in the community be encouraged to cut contact, and to not listen anything I say if I leave or change my mind about the community's beliefs?

Make us look good! (advertise)

Am I expected to wear a certain type of clothing, or have a lot of restrictions about what kind of clothing I can wear?

Are there things in the group that I have to keep a secret, and not tell to any outsider?

Is there a certain way I'm told to talk about the community, and how to display our beliefs and practices publically?

Am I encouraged, or required, to prompt other people to join the community? Are there set rules on how to approach them, and how to talk to them?

Is there surface knowledge we're supposed to share with outsiders, but deeper knowledge that needs to stay secret, until they get on our side?

Is appearance considered more valuable to my status in here than actions? Is it more important to make the group look good than to be a kind person in here?

Be Grateful (Don't think too much, don't question us)

If I follow instructions and don't feel okay, healthy or happy, is it always going to be my fault for not trying hard enough?

Have I been reminded more than once to be grateful for this community and what it's done for me?

Are there certain thoughts I'm scared to touch or think too much about, because if I did, a lot of things would stop making sense to me, and I wouldn't be able to continue believing what I do?

Are there any lacks of ethics or moral code in the group that sometimes make me uncomfortable, or make me wonder if things couldn't be done differently?

In the community's opinion, can a person become dangerous just for the kind of thoughts they have deep inside their mind? Are there thoughts we are not allowed to think?

Do I need to privately confess if I've had any unfavourable thoughts about the group?

Is it dangerous to confess if I've had any doubts or unfavourable thoughts about the beliefs of the community? Have I seen people get ostracized for doing so?

Are there always some convenient reasons to why I should not get my needs met, or be able to express how I feel? Is it considered evil or punishable to speak my own mind out loud?

Have I experiencing feeling uneasy or doubtful about some of the things that are taught to me, but I've seen what happens to people who question it so I'm keeping it silent?

Have I been instructed on what to do and how to change my mind if I feel uneasy and uncomfortable? Was my discomfort expected and sidelined by more rules?

Am I allowed to follow my own moral code that makes sense to me, or do I need to adhere to the moral code of the community and turn against anyone following their own rules, if they're a harmless and kind person otherwise?

Are there certain types of suffering that the community considers normal, or good and a sign of virtue? Are there members who are encouraged to go through suffering for some kind of benefit?

Rules for thee but not for me (I make the rules)

Is there a person, or a group of people in the community, that are so important and special, rules do not adhere them? Is it a privilege to be interacting with them or to be in their presence?

Is there a person in the community that can do no wrong, and whatever they say is considered sacred and to be listened to obediently?

Do I have to obey someone without question, on a daily basis?

Are there people who I have to obey absolutely, discarding my own thoughts and opinions? Is it forbidden to question or doubt their orders?

Is there one person central to this group's beliefs, who came up with the beliefs, and if this person was proved to be wrong, it would all fall apart?

Can I easily stand up to anyone in the community, or would standing up to certain people end up in punishment and ostracizing?

Is there a big discrepancy in how different sexes and genders are treated in this community? Are there allowances for one, where there are rules and enforcement for the others?

Is there one sex or gender that is supposed to be making all the rules, while another is supposed to follow and obey?

Is your sex and/or gender what decides your status in the community, rather than your actions and contributions?

The World is Evil (and you could be too, if you go astray)

Am I exposed only to the worst of the outside world, so I would know that there's no humanity out there? (wars, violence, abuse)

Do I feel uneasy surrounded by people who are not in my group, because they're going to be judging me, hating me, or trying to hurt me just for what I believe in and how I live?

Am I instructed to avoid looking at certain media, news, opinions, articles or books? Does it make sense to me that I shouldn't do that, or is it just because I might be manipulated by the misinformation'?

Is there a group of people whose perspectives and opinions I should not, in any case, be reading or looking at?

Have I seen or heard of people subjected to humiliation, disdain, contempt and hatred for speaking out against the community's beliefs?

Am I consistently warned that if I do a certain thing, or think a certain way, I might become 'just like one of the other ones', referring to people outside the community?

Have I ever been reprimanded for 'becoming one of them', meaning one of the outsiders?

Do I feel like there's nothing worse on than being 'one of them', referring to the outsiders of the group? Am I afraid I might become one, due to some of my doubts and things that don't make sense to me?

Does the community I'm in sometimes socially isolate and ignore people who have done something wrong in their eyes? Do people get silently ignored until they are sorry for what they've done?

Does the community sometimes overreact, and over-punish completely normal actions from certain members?

Can I end up punished for saying a wrong word to someone, or for perceiving something wrong and not the way it was meant to?

Could this punishment be out of proportion with what I did, but it doesn't matter to the community?

Have I, or other members of this community, been compared to demonic creatures, beasts, animals, slurs, or otherwise derogatory terms, in order to shame their behaviour or thoughts?

Is there a possibility to being denied food and shelter if I step out of line?

Have any members of the community been starved or sleep-deprived in order to 'achieve something' about their behaviour?

Think of the Children (but don't protect them)

Are children in the community taught to think a certain way, follow a set of beliefs, from early childhood?

Are there rules and regulations in how children are supposed to act and behave, that is not compatible with usual child behaviour?

Are children in this community given no autonomy at all? (not allowed to choose what they want to eat or what toy to play with)

Are children in this community given an inappropriate amount of responsibility? (expected to work as adults, treated as adults)

Are children restricted from reading certain books and consuming media that isn't connected to the media's rating? (book that are already safe for children)

Is parent's behaviour towards children regulated? Are there set ways of discipline that everyone follows, that would be considered abuse in the outside world, but we know better?

Does child abuse get reported in the community, or covered up and hidden from the authorities?

Do I know of one or multiple cases of sexually abused children in the community, who are unprotected and the aggressors never reported?

Are child victims of sexual abuse believed when they speak out, or is it mostly considered lying for attention?

People who Leave are Traitors (you can't listen to them)    

Are there people who were heavily invested in this community, dedicated a lot of their life and effort to contribute to it, who changed their opinion almost overnight, and distanced themselves from it?

Have people been taking their leave from the community, and then had their character attacked and smeared? Am I told to never contact these people or listen to what they have to say?

Are the stories that would make the community look bad declared offensive and obstructive material, regardless of whether there's any truth to them? Are they discarded without looking into it?

Are the people who leave portrayed as opposition who is trying to harm the group, or fakers who never truly belonged?

Do I expect something bad to happen to me if I leave?

Am I expected to become a bad, failed and broken person if I ever left the community or changed my beliefs? Would I be automatically considered a bigot or an oppressor if I left?

Believe (do not ask for proof)

Are the rules for how I should live strict, but at the same time, often changing if they're criticized or unpopular enough?

Is there a specific purpose that the community has and is claiming to achieve, but I can't tangibly see how it's being achieved? Are there promises being made that I can't see any progress on in reality?

Does the community work towards something that feels almost supernatural to achieve, and there's no visible progress, but we are assured it's going to happen?

Does the community make financial decisions that don't make sense? Is there money that disappears and nobody can tell exactly where to and what for?

Are donated/gifted resources and money disappearing never to be seen again, while the community keeps asking for more?

Does the community sometimes seem like they're above the law, and nobody could possibly inflict consequences on their actions?

Deserve to be here (you are not good enough)

Are there mandatory meetings and sessions that I have to either attend, or go through a lot of defending myself if I'm caught not present?

Are there consequences, social or practical, for failing to actively contribute in the community? Will I be shamed for being inactive?

Is there an expectation of continuous labour that I have to do consistently, but it is unpaid and uncompensated for?

Am I expected to donate/surrender my money, or some of it to the community, and failing to do so brings embarrassment and reprimands?

Is there a hierarchy I can only climb up to if I give enough labour, value, advertisement, or money to the community? Do I have to promise my loyalty in order to progress?

Is this community deciding what my income is, or what part of it can I keep? Do I get no income, but community provides survival resources and decides how much I am entitled to?

Am I continuously expected to prove my worth and value to the community, without ever feeling like it's enough?

Do I get anxious about providing enough value to the group, and feel pressured to do more for them as time goes on?

Do I often feel selfish, unreasonable and guilty for wanting and needing things for myself? Do I feel like I'm actively harming the community if I voice my needs and wants?

Am I, despite putting months and years of effort and support to this community, still sometimes made to feel like I'm no better than the outsiders?

Have I felt like I am not doing enough, and I'm not worthy of belonging here?

Your sexuality exists to serve a purpose (we decide it)

Am I expected to get married by a certain age, and see most of my peers getting married by that age?

Am I subjected to an uncommon type of marriage/relationship with a lot of restrictions/rules that are not common in the rest of society? (open marriage, polygamy, promise to be sexually available to someone without having a say)

Is sex either a restricted topic that isn't talked about in here, or something so central to the community it's being looked at and made rules about constantly?

Are the rules of the group about sex more important than consent and mutuality?

Is it frowned upon to call out sexual abuse in my community? Are the sexual predators being defended before victims are given a chance to speak out?

Are there rules restricting who am I allowed to feel attraction or love towards, and who is forbidden? If I develop a wrong type of attraction, will I be considered one of the 'bad people'?

Am I expected, at any point, to be sexually available to another person? If I refuse, will I be ostracized and deemed 'not good enough' or 'fake' in some way?

Your health is secondary to the cause

Have I been discouraged from seeking medical assistance when dealing with a medical issue? Have my issues been dismissed and downplayed when it felt serious?

Are there any rules to what kind of medical assistance I'm not allowed to receive, in a dire condition?

Am I encouraged to seek medical intervention when I'm healthy? Is there a procedure members of the community are supposed to get, in order to fully be a part of it?

Are there concerns about people's health that are being swooped aside for the sake of the community looking good and healthy?

Are there practices potentially damaging people's health, but we are pretending it's okay and discouraging those people to talk about it?

Is talking about a damaged health as the result of belonging to this community an act that is considered forbidden, aggressive and a form of fear-mongering? Is it being silenced and dismissed as nothing?

If while reading this, you felt the urge to defend a certain group of people and to prove to yourself you cannot be in a cult, do more cult research! Cults or high control groups have changed and evolved to the point where they're not religious or spiritual, and you can't see what is going on while it is happening to you. It can be a MLM or an internet support group or an off-grid society.

If five or more ring true to you, look up the name of your community and the stories of the people who left. You are not stupid or naive if you found yourself in a cult. You are only a human being, and they're designed to work on us.

[sunbeamedskies]

If you see articles and tweets about how the Star of David is now a symbol of fascism and think to yourself "maybe they have a point," then whatever you define as your antizionism has absolutely crossed the line into antisemitism

The Star of David is one of the most important symbols in Judaism. The fact that it is on the flag of Israel does not make it fascist. The government of Israel is separate from the symbol. Labeling such a widely used symbol by a marginalized people as fascist is incredibly dangerous and seeks to conflate Jews as a whole with the Israeli government- something antizionists continually claim people shouldn't do. So why are some doing it?

High control groups slowly ease you into believing nonsensical things. They provide "reasoning" and "logic" which goes largely unchallenged within echo chambers. People in these echo chambers are prone to believing it because they start to see it as real logic instead of bigoted, twisted reasoning. Even otherwise intelligent people can fall for their prejudices as they begin to view it as a form of justice

It is a fantasy that high control group leaders go from 0 to 100 in five minutes or refuse to answer any questions- they are usually much more manipulative

Please confront your biases. The Jews are tired

[creature-wizard]

PSA: If you're in a group that tells you (implicitly or explicitly) that hating or harming yourself is praxis or righteous or something, you are in a high control group, and they are abusing you.

[uranuses]

To those who have never experienced cult abuse:

Don't fucking name your Tumblr community/Discord server/group chat/whatever "[character/fandom] cult". It's not cute, funny, cool, or edgy.

If you haven't named your own online space anything like this, DO NOT join these spaces and get in on the "joke" of acting like it's a cult.

If the space does not explicitly have "cult" in the name, and members still jokingly call the group a cult at all, cut that shit out.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[gaileyfrey]

TOMORROW!!

I can't believe it's almost here. After all these years, I finally get to invite you to Kindred Cove. Where transformation is possible, and nothing is ever lost. You'll come visit, won't you?

Tomorrow night, to celebrate the release of MAKE ME BETTER, I'll be starting off my book tour at Books Inc in San Francisco at Opera Plaza! I'll be in conversation with the one and only @charliejaneanders. Come join us, it's gonna be a blast!!

And if you're in Southern California, Salt Lake City, St Louis, or Des Moines, I'm headed your way... Info and tickets here.

Finally, and I know you've probably heard this before, but I'll say it again: preorders matter SO MUCH. If you're planning to buy this book, you can genuinely give my WHOLE CAREER a boost by ordering it now instead of waiting. Check out Bookshop.org to preorder different formats while supporting independent bookstores!!

See you at Kindred Cove <3

-gailey

[moshiachmemes]

[outnumberedsins]

Programming vs Conditioning

A common miscommunication I've seen inside and outside OEA spaces is the comparison of conditioning and programming. This is only made further complicated by the fact they exist on a similar scale, where not all conditioning is programming, but all programming is conditioning. This post serves to point out the differences between the two. Any sources may contain triggering content.

Programming

the far end of conditioning

The process of programming can be defined as "systematic torture that blocks the victim’s capacity for conscious processing, and then employs suggestion and/or classical and operant conditioning to implant thoughts, directives, and perceptions in the unconscious mind, often in newly-formed trauma-induced dissociated identities, that force the victim to do, feel, think, or perceive things for the purposes of the programmer. The objective is for the victim to follow directives with no conscious awareness." This is also referred to as Trauma-Based Coersive Mind Control, Torture Based Mind Control, or Trauma Based Mind Control (TBMC). [1]

TBMC within the community can refer to things outside of just programming. Because of this, when not referring to programming, the general term 'Mind Control' (MC) will be used to avoid confusion.

Programming uses the dissociative capacity of children, through extreme abuse and suggestion, to create alters to specifically serve the programmers needs. The purpose of programming is to have these alters respond to cues or triggers to make them perform specific acts. Ideally, the victim will not know what's going on, and a majority of the abuse will be hidden from them. [2, pg 437]

Conditioning

a natural process

There are many types of conditioning, however when comparing to programming and MC, we are more than likely referring to Classical, Operant, and Fear Conditioning. [3 pg 69, pg 88-90][4, pg 5 ] For this reason, this is what I'm going to focus on. I'm going to try my best to make this simple to understand!

Conditioning does not have to be purposeful. At its base, it's a natural process all people go through based on their environment. For example, your phone is initially a neutral stimulus, but a notification sound (conditioned stimulus) now triggers an emotional response (conditioned response.) This is an example of classical conditioning. [5]

A very simple definition of Classical Conditioning is "an unconscious process where an automatic, conditioned response becomes associated with a specific stimulus." [6]

A very simple definition of Operant Conditioning is "a method of learning that uses rewards and punishment to modify behavior." [7]

A very simple definition of Fear Conditioning is "when initially neutral stimuli, such as tones, lights, or distinctive environmental settings, are paired with aversive stimuli such as electric shocks or loud noises, which reflexively activate unconditional fear responses." A subset of Classical Conditioning. [8]

Conditioning can be considered the base for all mind control, while not being harmful in itself. Conditioning is a natural process that affects how we react and learn to our environment.

Still confused on the differences? Don't worry, we'll compare them now.

Comparison

All programming is conditioning, but not all conditoning is programming

The most important differences between these two concepts are:

1. Intentional and conscious actions (abuse)

2. The usage of dissociative parts (creating, organizing, programming)

3. Age of victim (Child, adult)

Programmers rely on multiple types of conditoning to control their victims on a higher scale. However, this relies on the creation and use of dissociative parts of a child, while conditoning by itself doesn't.

A good example of this is fear conditoning in PTSD. For example, say someone was attacked (unconditioned stimulus) by a short man (neutral stimulus). They then become fearful of other short men (conditioned response), despite knowing they're of no harm. This also happens in many other disorders, such as other anxiety disorders and OCD. [9]

The conditioned response here was not created purposely, nor did it use dissociative parts, and is possible at any age. This means it doesn't meet the requirements for programming.

But this doesn't account for purposeful actions, as may occur in abuse, so let's go over that next.

Purposeful conditioning (an example for the purposes of thought reform) has been documented in prisoners, war captives, and other abuse victims. [1]. These things are also common in cults and other high control groups, however conditioning can occur outside of organized groups.

An example of this is a victim having a conditioned behavior to 'walk on eggshells' around their abuser to avoid outbursts. In a more extreme example, prisoners of war may go through torture under the hands of their captors. This torture may focus on changing their beliefs or making them act a certian way- however, it would be an example of conditioning, not programming. This is due to the fact that programming must begin at an early age with the usage of dissociative parts. [10][1]

Despite all of this, conditioning can result in symptoms similar to programming, as they are very similar. For example:

1. The urge to go back to abuser(s)

2. False beliefs given by abuser(s)

3. Amnesia regarding abuse

etc..

The difference is the triggers and automatic reactions present in programming won't be possible from conditioning alone. If any pre-requisite isn't established (age, purpose, parts), it is not possible for conditioning to become programming.

--

Tldr: Programming is one of the most complicated versions of mind control. It utilizes conditioning and dissociative parts to make child victims perform automatic tasks according to their abusers. However, conditioning (and mind control) isn't inherently programming. A conditioned victim at any age may perform their abusers commands through terrified submission, religious indoctrination, torture, or other forms of Mind Control. These experiences are similar, but different to programming.

Myths and Misinformation

1. "Accidental' Programming.

1a. Due to the fact that it is possible to accidentally condition a person, some people have taken to assuming that programming can be accidental. This is untrue. All programming is purposeful, organized and conscious by those doing it. An abuser will need to know what they're doing in order for programming to be sucessful. An abuser does not have to know the specific science behind programming to know what they're doing works.

2. Programming is the only type of 'Mind Control.'

2a. Programming is a severe and sophisticated form of mind control, but it is not the only type, and certainly not the only kind that is perpetuated by organized abuse. You do not have to have gone through programming to be included in the 'MC' part of RAMCOA. A couple source I've listed goes into detail, here: [1][4]

3. Programming is 'More valid/More traumatizing/etc' than other types of MC.

3a. There is no valid way to measure or compare trauma. How everyone reacts to stress is different, especially children. Trauma olympics, especially among RAMCOA victims, is unecessary and harmful. You don't even have to had gone through MC to be a RAMCOA victim. Focus on healing and helping yourself- not how bad your trauma is, or how bad anyone elses trauma is.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, feel free to send an ask or reply to this post. A reminder that I am not a professional, I am flawed, and am just doing my best.