So there’s this dnd podcast called High Rollers, right? It’s decently popular, long running, really good I highly reccomend it.
And i got onto it a while back and kinfirmed Lucius in like, less than seven episodes. It was practically instantaneous.
And I got 25 episodes in and I felt this like, psychic block preventing me from listening any more. I just lost all will to press on, which is concerning cause it was right before a very climactic point.
Well over the past few months I forgot that I was dreading episode 26 for some unknown reason and decided to start listening again.
And I figured out why i wasn’t keen on it before 🙃🙃🙃 nothing like watching someone you promised to protect die in front of you! You guys think that whole selling my soul thing was just a bluff? No! No I was willing to die. I genuinely felt in that moment that the only way to atone for failing them that badly was to give my life in exchange for someone else’s. And it wasn’t even them. I could do nothing for them. They trusted me and I failed them in a way I could barely even fathom. What’s selling your soul when you just had it ripped out anyway?
... the trouble is I have memories of them existing later. They’re there in my canon. The bits I got spoiled on (cause I hate suspense so I do it on purpose sometime) I remember them being there. They were with me on the ship, I remember standing there with them on the deck, staring out at the night sky and talking for hours!
But that scene happened in my canon too so I’m really confused.