#hijabidot

[fluffkills]

I was trying to draw Peri and Jasper from When it Rains, I wasn’t happy with Jasper but the Peri sketch came out okay.

The face/expression is really cute!

[fluffkills]

When it Rains Ch. 13

Read the whole work on AO3

Human AU, Jaspidot, First Meetings, Fluff, Humour, Teen Rating, Hijabidot

Chapter update under the cut or here on AO3

Peridot closes her door, and slumps down against it, panting. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit. It had been hard leaving Jasper, the tall woman walking her to the lobby, and they had lingered for a good ten minutes there, not quite willing to separate.

Peridot had read about this, had heard about it from Sadie and others, the sort of affection for another person where you’ll spend hours on the phone, unwilling to hang up. Where you can’t stop thinking about them. Where you never quite want to take that last step and go first when you’re together. It seemed positively insane. Gross and weird and incomprehensible and a little stupid.

Peridot fights against calling Jasper right away.

She examines herself in her washroom mirror, splashing water over her face. There was a smear of red over her lips, where Jasper’s lipstick had given in. Blushing deeply, the woman scrubs it away, finding other marks over her dark skin, even one at her throat, an event that nearly broke her into two when it happened. Each trace of the makeup is washed away, her skin going ruddy over the teak shade it normally was as she rubs .

She unwraps her scarf and runs her fingers through her hair, the kinky brown mess standing out in a puff of static. Her hand rubs over her crown, and she sighs, tingling.

Peridot had never really wanted to be touched by anyone before. It was something she tolerated for the sake of others. Even hugging was a bit much, which drove her relatives nuts and simply made them more affectionate towards her.

Everything Jasper does makes the prickly scientist just want to revel in contact, like a cat. To rub against every touch, eager, hungry. And Jasper was fiery. Once they’d become a little more comfortable with each other, with the awkward bumps and missteps the Jasper assured Peridot was normal, she could hardly believe how intense her experienced partner was.

They finally had to break apart when a twisted up prim lady walking her cheerful dog made pointed comments about their affection, and Peridot grinned to see how they backed off immediately when Jasper stood to her full height and glared at them, wrapping a thick arm around her smaller girlfriend, protective and warm and strong. The technician stuck her tongue out when the snippy old woman left, and Jasper’s laugh was generous and booming, and Peridot could forget anything bad had happened, or could happen.

Temptation had never really entered Peridot’s life before. At least, not where lust was concerned. But now she has trouble not visualizing kissing the soft spot on the inside of Jasper’s elbow, or nipping at her shoulders, or feeling hot skin under that dress...  She remembers her fingers siding to rest on the tall woman’s broad hips, and the soft groan as she was pressed against the wall in the lobby, blocking the buttons to the elevator. Had it come from Jasper or her? She wasn’t sure even now.

Jasper was an experience, one that overwhelmed her and made Peridot blush even to think about.

Glancing at her phone, Peridot can see a variety of texts. From her father, reminding her to call, and her sister, which was mostly emoji and seemed positive, if the amount of okay signs and 100s was any indication. And one from Sadie, hoping the date went well. And one from Jasper, already, from two minutes ago.

“u were great. thnx 4 everything 2day, qt.”

She nearly drops the phone, sitting on the cool tile floor of her bathroom. Her heart won’t stop racing. She won’t call Jasper first. The woman isn’t even home yet. She won’t.

Was this always going to be so... intense?

Was this why Laboni.. Lapis, whichever, had acted so insane?

But Peridot immediately frowns at herself for thinking that. Lapis might not be able to control her emotions she gets, but surely her former friend should be able to think on how she’s reacting to them. No, there was no excuse for that behaviour, not when she remembers the shock and dread in Jasper’s face.

And Peridot was going to call Sadie first. And then her parents, once the initial fires of her excitement burned out. Her sister can wait. And then.. she’ll call Jasper. Yes.  She can’t let this be her everything right away. As much as her heart and body and soul wanted it to be.

Peridot feels her stomach turning over and over as she waited for Sadie to pick up. When she hears the familiar “Hello?” she practically squealed into the phone, “KISSING IS AMAZING!” That wasn’t what she’d intended to say as her opening conversational gambit, it just sort of overflowed her mind out of her lips.

Sadie’s laugh spills from the other direction, and Peridot shrinks down, pulling her legs up to her chest.

“I take it the date went well?” comes a slightly sardonic question, and Peridot finds she can’t stop grinning, even through her mild annoyance.

“Yes! Why hasn’t anyone explained how kissing could be good?” she says, squeaking as she hugs her legs to herself tighter.

“I’m pretty sure every bit of modern media did. But yeah, I guess it sort of looks weird until you try it?”

Peridot certainly had thought so. She closes her eyes. “It.. it went really well. “ Gushing, she described Jasper’s outfit, the amazing tattoo over her back, a stylized tiger that hugged her skin and seemed to guard the woman.  Peridot had been encouraged to stroke over the striped hide painted deep below the bronze skin. She hadn’t dared, not just yet.  She talked about the feeling of just being near someone so soft and strong and warm. How Jasper carefully carried the flowers she’d bought the whole time they were together, always gently putting them down. Peridot didn’t explain they were gently placed aside before the pair was fiercely kissing once more, fingers burning through the satiny blouse where Jasper dragged them over her back.

Peridot had been made to learn the poems from the book, The Prophet. Not about THE Prophet, of course.  Her parents had done their best to impart Lebanese culture on her, and part of that was learning the works of Khalil Gibran. Poetry, in her mind, concerned itself too much with fluffy meaningless emotional drivel. Arabic romantic poetry was like trying to drink something thick and syrupy, and it wasn’t much better when she read his English works.

But a line strikes her now. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. It was florid and horrible and somehow, there was a profoundness to it the scientist had never appreciated before today.

She was becoming sappy. Ugh.

When Peridot finally stops effusing, her mouth try and her cheeks warm, there’s a long pause, before Sadie goes “Wow. Um, but... you mentioned her ex showing up?”

Peridot rubs her bare nape.

“Y-yes? But she’s gone now. “

Sadie’s sober voice brings Peridot down to Earth. “You said Jasper LIVED near there. And she knows your family. Aren’t you worried?”

Pressing her knees to her chest, the small woman mutters, “I wasn’t until now,” she admits.

“Listen, just be careful, okay?” says Sadie, and Peridot nods, before remembering she’s on a phone.

“Right. I will.”

Sadie’s voice switches gears quickly, but Peridot thinks she can hear that worry still.

“You sounded pretty great, though.” Peridot grins, in spite of herself, at the compliment. Slumping against the bathroom wall, she sighs happily.

“Yeah, I was pretty amazing,” she says, modestly, “And HAH, the look on Lapis’ face when I actually called my father! She was ready to die! “  Peridot pauses, staring at her sink.

“Shitcocks! I’ve been on the phone with you forever! I have to call my dad! No, stop laughing, this is serious!”

“But I thought you said he sounded fine about it?” says Sadie, trying to contain her mirth. Peridot pushes her glasses up to rub over her eyes for a moment. Breathing out with a groan, she mutters, “It’s not about me dating Jasper. They’re going to want to know everything about her! They’re going to want to invite her to dinner! My dad will probably want to meet her dad and talk.. dad things. It’s terrible! I’m not up for that sort of thing yet!”

“Oh no, Jasper might be scared off by you having a loving family,” says Sadie, her tease obvious even over the poor earpiece of the cell. Peridot rolls her eyes.

“I just.. I know a lot about Jasper, but not ABOUT her...” she admits. “I don’t know anything about her family, or stuff like that, and my parents will want to know. Okay , I know she’s an only child, but.. wait, no I remember her saying her mother was an actuary..”

“Peri, you’ve probably picked up more about her than your own family. Just, you know, let things happen. I know about pushy moms though. Mine always wants me .. well, anyways, give it a chance. You sound really happy. I mean, really happy.”

Peridot smiles, and closes her eyes. She can still feel Jasper with her, if she let her mind wander. She didn’t know love was like this. “ I just don’t want to mess this up. I’m such a dork.”

“She’s a big dork too, we all are. It’s fine. She obviously really likes you.”

“Hah. She says thanks for the date, by the way. I mean, I said you pushed me into it.” Peridot can feel Sadie’s smile from here.

“Like I ever could. I wanted you two to go out years ago.”

“She was dating.. I think Pearl years ago.”

“REALLY? Damn... that’s not at all what I expected. “

“Well, she dated all of those ladies we were with.”

The silence was deafening.

“Sadie?”

More silence. Peridot frowns. “You know they’re gay, right?”

“—What? Sorry. Um , I don’t know what I’m more shocked about, that she’s dated all of Steven’s godmoms at some point, or that she brought you to meet them before you guys were even went on a date. Was she TRYING to sabotage herself?” Peridot sniggers a little.

“I figured I had to defeat them on the field of combat to win her heart.”

“Uh huh. And.. the bruises are gone now?”

“...mostly.”

Peridot feels her phone vibrate. Another text from Jasper.  Her throat feels like it will strangle herself. She can’t play it cool any longer, not like that was a state of being the awkward, socially inept nerd managed in general.

“I better go. I’ll text you soon.”

“Calling your folks?”

“Yeah, eventually.”

“Oooh.  Say hi to Jasper for me, then, lovebird.”

Making an incomprehensible noise of disgust, especially since somehow Sadie KNEW, Peridot hangs up on her without any further ceremony.

As she goes to check the message, her phone buzzes in her hand, causing her to squeak and drop it. Fumbling, she managed to answer it.

“Shit shit Hello?”

“Hey. Couldn’t wait, had to call you...” Oh shit. Jasper still sounded hot. Hotter. That purr was downright seductive now. Peridot laughs, awkward and quick and nervous. She clutches the phone to her ear.

“Is it always like this?” she asks, her voice quaking.

“Like what?” says Jasper, sounding confused.

“Like.. we just left each other but we have to call.”

Jasper’s laugh was softer over the phone, but still hurt her ears. Peridot didn’t care. She would learn the best jokes just to hear that every day.

“It’s.. um... it’s not normally like this. I mean, not for me. It’s like I’m back in highschool.” Jasper’s voice is gruff and sheepish. Peridot sniggers, her stomach doing flips even as she hears that.

“So, what, I’m magic?”

“Yeah, you’re my little wizard, you nerd.”

“Asshole.”

The hours ticked by. There was no woman with a dog to make remarks. No people entering the lobby of her building and clearing their throats until the pair realised they had an audience. Peridot didn’t even get another text. They talked about nothing, and neither of them wanted to stop.

The sky grew black outside the bathroom window, and Peridot’s ass grew cold and sore from resting on the hard tile. It was never like this for her. It was never like this for Jasper either. And they were laughing at dumb jokes, and just listening to the other breathe, or murmur, or describe mundane things. And neither wanted to be the first to hang up. They'd known each other for a decade, but Peridot felt like they had just met, too.

They were both idiots. And it was pretty great.

[fluffkills]

LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS STUFF!!!!

I’m screaming here, @crystal-g3m read When it Rains last night and drew these today! HOLY MOTHER OF PEARLS!

First fanart of my human faves! Look at that puffy peri-hair it’s so precious she needs to brush more. 

[fluffkills]

Fantastic work by @blooniverse that I commissioned for @egsauce who's currently slowly but surely working on a recorded podfic of When it Rains here

Listen on AO3

[fluffkills]

When it Rains Ch. 10

Read the whole work on AO3

Human AU, Jaspidot, First Meetings, Fluff, Humour, Teen Rating, Hijabidot

Chapter update under the cut or here on AO3

Peridot hovers like an expectant mother over the squat, four legged robot standing in front of her. "Are you filming this? Make sure you're filming this. " The other student gives her a thumbs up, and Peridot tips the robot over with a foot.

The rounded body causes it to roll feet down, and slowly, agonizingly, right itself. The servos whirr loudly as the robot moves a step away from its creatrix. The eyes, hidden under the smooth cowl with its mirrored one way plastic can be heard focusing. As Peridot moves it now starts to avoid her. Ronaldo steps forward, and the robot makes no such attempt to flee.

The lab bursts into cheers. It seems like such a small thing, but over two years had gone into the idea of building a robot that could detect individual threats visually and remember them based on dangers they'd experienced in the past. It was very rough, not for nothing did they use Peridot, the smallest person in the group, and Ronaldo, the largest, but they had results! Peridot had never worked so hard in her life, but she had double motivation to.

Peridot drops back into her chair and watches as Ronaldo repeats the trick, taking out her cell and filming the little bot running away from him.

She sends it to Sadie, with the note, " Artificial intelligence just got smarter. "

There's a message from Jasper waiting for her too.

" yo take 5 brush ur teeth and go outside youll feel better nerd face"

The doctorate student rolls her eyes but gets up, leaving the group to get her bag. Jasper had been sending these little notes since they'd last seen each other, weeks ago. The bruiser had expressed her concern about Peridot taking care of herself, which the small woman dismissed. She was a grown woman, and could handle an all nighter or three.

But since then every day there'd be at least one random text to remind the engrossed researcher to experience a world that wasn't a computer screen, enough caffeine to kill a bull elephant, and the walking MRA advertisement. Nothing too demanding, just telling her to try giving her face a wash to wake herself up, or to go for a short walk, or similar.

Peridot had to admit the results were remarkably effective, and the last two weeks had been much more productive. She'd asked Jasper about that a few days ago, couched in her normal peevish language, and the other woman reminded her she worked in health. " i might not b a doctor but I know how to treat a body. ;)"

The fact she worded the last part with such a thorough innuendo, wink and all, left Peridot distracted for the rest of the day. She phoned Sadie that night.

"I'm going to ask her out. "

"Well hello to you too, Peri. What did you just say? "

"Jasper. I'm going to ask her out. "

The gasp her friend gave to that was clearly audible over the line, and Peridot quickly says, "No squealing, no squealing! "

Waiting for her friend to gain control of her emotions, Peridot sighs. Finally, Sadie uses her words instead of high pitched vocalizations.

" Peri, that's amazing! I thought you'd basically put it off forever and then cry to me when she gets a new girlfriend. "

"Gee, thanks, " mutters the researcher, but Sadie was probably right under normal circumstances. "I think she might actually be flirting with me. "

"Peridot, I told you she was. "

"Those examples weren't very convincing. " mutters the scientist.

" When they talked about when you got shot in the butt she called it the best target in the field. She was grinning, honey. "

" I still think it's a dig at the size of my backside. "

" Riiight. And when Steven's family was leaving, she made sure to talk about how you were going home with her. "

"That's...that was literally true!" says Peridot, gesticulating wildly with her free hand. " She was driving me home! "

" Fine, fine, what did you notice, then. "

Peridot verbally repeated the text, and there's a long pause. " I think you've upgraded from flirting to her throwing herself at you. " the other woman says, finally, sounding bemused. Peridot groans, rubbing a hand under her glasses across her eyes.

" You're insane. "

" So, when are you planning on doing it? " the voice over the phone asks, but Peridot already had a plan. She'd already made the mistake of letting her research overwhelm her time to get to be around Jasper, and it was highly unpredictable, so it was better to wait until she was positive her schedule wouldn't interfere.

Besides, she'd be lying to herself if she didn't say she'd been looking for an excuse.

" Once we get the robot working, I'll ask. "

"Peri, is that your way of saying never, because I will take a bus to Empire City and kick your butt. "

" No! No, we should be doing testing this week. "

"You better work hard, then. "

It hadn't even been a week, and here they were. Peridot feels a certain pride. She did it. Sure, she was part of a team, working towards a goal, but anyone who knew her, knew that nothing beats her determination and motivation when she was really driven.

Her phone blips, and she glances at it.

" You better be calling Jasper now. "

Peridot types quickly, "I'm brushing my teeth first. "

Peridot spits in the sink and has to admit, she did feel refreshed. Sadie's reply pops up.

" You know she can't smell your breath over the phone, right? "

Peridot frowns at herself in the mirror, looking at the dark circles under her eyes. " I know, but Jasper reminded me to and if I call that's the first thing she'll ask. " She's certain Sadie is probably laughing about that, and her reply just confirms it

" You better ask her out before the wedding. "

"You're always fussing over Lars, I fail to see the issue,since he's just a friend . She's doing friendly things.And now possibly flirting."

Peridot washes her face. At least she looks like a clean person who hasn't been sleeping much now. The woman is already walking out of the building to enjoy the overcast but warm day, as per not quite doctor not quite girlfriend's instructions. Sadie finally sends her a reply.

"Right, have fun asking out Jasper! The lady doing totally platonic things only besties do like friends. "

Peridot nods, gratified Sadie understood. Sometimes she could be so dense.

Peridot finds a tree to sit under, looking up at the ominous sky. Taking a deep breath of the clear air, unfiltered and lacking in the scents of burning plastic and cleaning liquids and body odor, she dials Jasper.

" Hey, kiddo!"

The voice. The amazing voice. Peridot closes her eyes. The universe was testing how often she could fall in love with a voice. So far, the results were every single time.

" Hey. The robot's passing it's initial tests with flying colors. "

"That's great! Did you brush your teeth? "

"Ugh, yes mom. How's knee guy? "

"Basketball knee guy, football knee guy or hockey knee guy? "

Peridot rolls her eyes, how would she know? "Yes. "

"I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but their knees are fucked up. That's a technical term."

Peridot sniggers, and tries to stop herself, but Jasper cuts in with, "There's that great laugh. You sound in a good mood. All just the robot? "

Peridot's heart goes to her throat. " Yeah, but it means that I can see you again, if you want. So, um, wanna go out for a coffee?" Her voice squeaks out the last words before nervousness closed her throat.

" What, like now? Little busy, short stack. "

" No, you dork, I'm still at the lab. Tomorrow, tomorrow work? "

" Sure. It's a date. "

Just confirm, just confirm, let her know you think it's a date Peridot screams at herself internally. That's all she had to do to make this really real. Just

" S-sure is! Um, okay have to go Ronaldo is on fire bye! " The woman quickly hung up, panting, Peridot stares at her phone

Nailed it!

Wait, no.

Peridot dials back Jasper quickly.

" I forgot to say where we're meeting! Or when! " she gasps onto her phone to the warm chuckles of the other woman.

"That was a fast fire. " comes the teasing reply. Peridot clears her throat. " I might have been exaggerating. I'll set him on fire when I get back to make up for it. "

"Mmm." There's a soft silence, Peridot's cheeks red, her sweaty fingers clutching the phone.

" So, tomorrow at noon? At the perk. For .." she can do this, just breathe, it's just a word. "For a date? "

" Hah, you don't need to keep calling it that, Peri, you're going to give this big ol' gay the wrong idea. "

"It's... it's not an incorrect idea. " Peridot's eyes close, and she tenses. Why did she ever say she'd do this?

Because she loves Jasper, and meeting her just made Peridot love the woman she didn't even know was one more. And if she waited, another Pearl might appear. Or Garnet. Or Lapis. Because Jasper was the most attractive creation Peridot had ever known, Jasper had a great laugh and strong arms and beautiful eyes and Peridot has to try. Just this once.

The silence from her phone is killing her, and tears start misting her lashes. She was an idiot, she knew how television romance worked but she didn't know the first thing about people.

"You're amazing. "

The nonsequor snaps Peridot out of her fearful self loathing. " What? " she sputters out, not certain she heard that right.

" Yeah. A date would be. ..fuck, okay, yes absolutely, I'll make sure I'm extra pretty. " comes a stream of nervous words from her phone that almost reminded her of herself. An alarm pops up on her phone and the scientist sighs.

" You're already really, um.. pretty. I have to go, but I'll see you at noon? "

"Yeah. " Jasper still sounds weird, and as Peridot hangs up, she wonders why. A big dork was getting to spend time with the most gorgeous, fun, perfect woman she knows, so why would JASPER be uncertain?

The phone rings again, and Peridot sees Jasper's name again.

" You did go outside, right? "

"....see you tomorrow, you gigantic clod. "

[fluffkills]

When it rains update

Update below the cut. Read the full story on AO3 here

Update below the cut

Peridot finds herself reflecting on the neatness of stories. If this was a story she was writing, about Pierre and Percy, and she'd written many of those, while of course there would be some tension , they'd at least have spent the tense periods near each other. Not, to pick a totally random example, spending fourteen hours a day at the University lab because it was crunch time for one of their projects.

Groaning, she pushes her glasses up and rubs the strain from her eyes. The autonomous robot wasn't behaving exactly like it should be to certain stimulations and she's going over the code for the fifth time.

"For the last time, the code is fine, we need to check all the hardware! " she snaps, and the young man behind her snorts and leans over, pushing her out of the way with his bulk and getting between her and her desktop.

" Why don't I just check that. You should take a little break, " he says in the patronizing tone he always used around her, squinting at the screen. Peridot lets out a strangled cry of frustration through gritted teeth. This clod never trusted her intellect!

" FINE! " she snarls, getting up, only to have the fellow doctorate student slide into her chair immediately without another glance at her, adjusting her chair to his much larger frame and shoving her things aside. Throwing her hands up, she storms off.

Peridot had barely been able to say five words to Jasper for the last week. While they'd Skyped properly twice after their meeting, for the last two weeks she'd been too busy to do more than leave brief messages to be picked up later. It had been like that before, but it stung more now.

Glancing at her phone, she sees missed messages. It wasn't Jasper, but it was a needed break, and someone she had the number for. She taps her phone, and listens to it ring.

" Peri! "

"Sadie, come and collect your ex boyfriend before he becomes subject to a horrifying accident. " says the student, flatly. She can hear Sadie' s groan over the phone.

"It was seven years ago, you can't keep calling Ronaldo my ex boyfriend. What did he do this time?"

"Exist. " growls Peridot through her clenched teeth. Sadie laughs.

" I'm not driving all the way up to the Empire state just to kick his butt. But you've been keeping secrets!" says the gleeful voice over the line.

Confusion suffuses through Peridot's mind. "What are you talking about? " she asks, finding a free spot to slump against a wall. She needed more caffeine, exhaustion was threatening to overcome her. She glances at the clock.

" You met your crush! " Peridot groans. Sadie was the only person aware of her weakness for their forum mate. Sadie had been part of her shipping circle, back in the height of the Pining Hearts fandom. They both shipped Percierre , Sadie had done simple art and they both did stories, and at one point when the girl from Beach City was going through a rough patch, they'd even exchanged numbers.

Which was why when Peridot had gotten accidentally drunk in her first year at university on booze spiked energy drinks, Sadie was the number she'd called, sobbing about Jasper's perfect mind and espousing a rather lengthy dissertation on how hot they must be.

When she'd gotten over it, Peridot was rather embarrassed, and refused to discuss the matter further, in spite of extensive prying from Sadie.  The young woman made it clear she shipped them, which was silly, but slightly less so now.

"T-that was years ago. We did meet though, " says Peridot, her voice cautious and low, glancing around to see if anyone was around before crouching down, huddled over her phone. "How did you find out? "

" Jasper does talk to people other than you. We were chatting on the forums this afternoon, and he said you were cute. "

Peridot feels her cheeks going dark. "Jasper said that? "

She's sure Sadie must be grinning. " Soooo, " came the expectant voice. "What's he like? "

"Female. "

There's a pause, and Peridot wonders if she should have said. But Jasper was clearly unaware that everyone thought she was a boy, so she can't imagine the harm.

" Oh no, I'm so sorry , hon. " says the conciliatory voice of her friend. Peridot bites her lip.

" Don't be. " she says, tersely. She fidgets with the hem of her shirt. "I... enjoyed her company none the less for it. "

"I always thought you were lying when you said you were over Jasper, but I guess I was wrong. " Peridot gets up, unable to stay still, and goes to grab an energy drink from the vending machine down the hall.

" I might have been less that sincere when I said that. " mutters Peridot, pulling the tab on the drink and downing it.

Another pause. " And that means...?"

Sighing, Peridot rubs the bridge of her nose. There was no point on having theories if you didn't share them. And Sadie was a reasonable sound board. Very solid against her manic energy.

" I do in fact still have an interest in Jasper. Regardless of this particular discovery. " The squeal over the phone is deafening, and Peridot holds the phone away from her ear.

Bringing it back, she hears Sadie saying, "--ou're gay then? Are you sure? Or wait, bisexual I guess?"

Peridot shrugs to her distant audience. "I'm...undecided but possibly Jasper-sexual. Orientation isn't important.  Listen, I've made a list and it's up on my cloud, let me forward the link..."

She can hear Sadie's giggles and frowns slightly. It wasn't that amusing! "No need, " says the young woman over the phone. " If you made a list you're serious and it's probably massive. I don't need to read all that. I'm just happy for you. " Peridot finds herself sheepishly smiling.

" So, what's she like, then?"

Peridot gives a wistful smile to the ceiling, thinking back on their time together. " Big. Strong. She's got this great laugh. And smile. Also, she's a completely annoying bossy ass."

"So, like you. Only bigger. "

"Thanks. But... she looks good. Really good. " Peridot laughs, awkwardly. " She's practically the perfect specimen. "

" I thought we agreed Pierre was. "

"She's like Pierre, but with a better voice, and make up. "

"Right, I'll take your word for it that that is attractive. Percy always seemed more the makeup type. "

"Ugh, you wish, Pierre would be better in stockings though. " Peridot glances down the hall and freezes. "Fucking... Ronaldo is messing with my code! And he's wearing that damn hat again! I thought I told him I'd make him eat it if I saw it on him again in the lab. "

"That gross fedora? Let me mail you ketchup. "

" Apparently it's a trilby, he tells me. Extensively. "

Peridot tenses as she watches Ronaldo blithely typing. " Listen, I have to go. If the police ask I am a very sane individual with no motivation to push Ronaldo Fryman from a roof. "

"It's always the small, noisy, ranting ones you least suspect. Send me a picture of Jasper, hon, and have fun. I'll message her about being your alibi."

Peridot hangs up just in time to see Ronaldo upload his code into the bot and start it. There's a whine and it freezes. " Huh, " he says. "Must be the hardware. Peridot should check that. "

"You CLOD!"