hindrostom replied to your post: “the topics i was most interested in learning about in Islam was youm...”:
As long as you still pride learning about it you should end up being fine. Regardless, as long as you're thinking of Allah in the end, then you are absolutely safe from any punishment.
aaaah 7abibty i wish it was that simple. but there is significant differences between wanting to learn, gaining the knowledge and actually applying it. we're not judged only on our ability to learn our deen. that is a responsibility of every Muslim, and one will truly spend their entire life learning something new about Islam. That's what makes it so wonderful. But we'll be judged accordingly- even more so if we are knowledgeable about what not to do and do it anyway, you feel me? I believe what you're saying is partially true in terms of intention. Allah knows what's in our hearts, and that in every way can save us from punishment, but intention isn't enough. it's a struggle we face in life to apply what Allah has sent down to us in our character and actions.
this is what i mean when i say i worry. my study and understanding of Islam is very limited. But i know Allah. I know Him in His mercy and His forgiveness and i feel His protection and love for me and through this, i am living each day as it comes. But is that even enough? when i know what Allah asks of me and still remain so stubborn in doing what i please rather than what is expected of me as a Muslim.? That is what i mean by worry. Taking myself and this world so seriously when i i don't put half that seriousness in preparing myself for death and the Hereafter- that my time can be as soon as the next second that passes and i know that my experience with death will not be the pleasant abode of the believer. Allah takes into account intention, absolutely. but how much action do i have to accompany those intentions? When Allah reads from the book of every single thing that i have done, how many of those things can i answer to without shame and regret? Just thinking that i'm going to standing in front of Allah himself, talking to Him and at the same time have my entire life read before me...dude. i get weak at the knees, and no matter what i do, Allah deserves much much more.