#hippity hops

[secondsofpleasure]

hippity hoppity March 2017

[dan-the-music-man]

velociraptors and voting

Posted by my friend Lauren on Facebook. She's so entertaining! Lauren, Y U NO have a Tumblr??

Voted! The polling place was surrounded by velociraptors and I fought to fend them off with all of my finesse and skill wielding my concrete-filled hippity hop with spikes. Just as the last velociraptor was slain, the ground opened up into a river of lava and at the last second I was able to grab a surf board and cruise my way into the building. Not a second too late, because the entire parking lot had been engulfed in a sea of molten rock and hungry lava monsters. I stepped into the building and realized that it was full of water from base to ceiling. It was a school-turned-aquarium. So I morphed into my stingray form and coasted through the upward levels of the school, darting behind lockers and trashcans to avoid sharks. At one point I found a citizen in distress cornered by a shark, so at great risk to myself, I stung the shark until it fell asleep and had the citizen (in goldfish form) accompany me to safety until we reached the polls, which were still underwater and manned by friendly starfish who turned evil the second I entered the booth and tried to suffocate me by attaching themselves to me and squeezing their starfish arms until I couldn't breathe. My goldfish friend came to my rescue and found and flipped the off switch to their secret power generator (they were all robots). Safe for the moment, I used my tail stinger to press all the buttons for the candidates I wanted, and the vote button in the corner of the machine. Success. So, I hope that if you are of age, you get out and vote, because you really can't possibly have an excuse not to vote now.

[swagimals]

CHECK ME OUT I'M HANGIN'

via: hollaitsmatt