What's it all about, Alfie?
Alright, humes? Blimey - that lot on EastEnders move on very quickly after a break-up, don't they? I always thought it was de rigueur to spend at least six weeks moping around in your pyjamas and gulping back the tears while listening to 'All By Myself' on repeat. But not in Walford! As one bedroom door closes, another one swings wide open... Take Kat and Alfie, for example. It's been roughly two months since Kat's affair with Dead Derek became public knowledge. Alfie soon threw himself into a rebound fling with Roxy and has now asked his wife for a divorce. Kat's response? Following a brief hissy-fit, she jumped into bed with ex-lover Michael - then nipped back to the pub to tell anyone who'd listen what she'd been up to. Give it a rest, love - they've heard it all before... Obviously, I'm on Team Alfie in all of this - which is why I'm modelling one of his favourite shirts in the photograph above. But as I've said all along, I'm sure he'll get back with Kat eventually. The fool! And in other getting-over-it-quickly news, Max is now playing happy families with ex-wife Kirsty - which is a bit awkward as his other ex-wife Tanya has just arrived home from the month-long sulk that followed the end of their relationship. Oh, and Masood's bouncing back from his recent break-up from Zainab by hooking up with Carol. They make quite a sweet pair, actually - but it'll never last. Nothing ever does in Albert Square... Want to help a cat become Top Dog, humes? Help me see off that pesky pigeon Pete on my favourite app, TVcheck. You can download version 2 from Google Play or iTunes. Don’t delay - ruffle some feathers today!