on Zi Xuan's vulnerability in ep3
You know what? That moment when Yu Hao watches Zi Xuan serve in the empty gym hall was sad and intense, but not just because it highlights Zi Xuan's injury and his yearning to play again. It's also intense because this is the first moment where we see, where we truly see, how passionate Zi Xuan is about this sport.
Yes, he is the manager and he works his a** off to improve the team with whatever resources he has. But that will never truly feel as impactful as playing on the field himself. He won't get to serve the ball that makes the game - and probably never will again.
And so, when he makes those serves at night in the (not quite) empty gym hall it's not just because he's desperate, it's because he is empty. Empty because, try as he might, the love for his sport that he has - it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because even if he can play volleyball in 10 years time, he will never get to play with his high school team again. He will never get to play with his best friend again while they're still young.
People always say the end of high school is like the end of an era - but for Zi Xuan that era has already ended. And that's why we see him act as he acts throughout the show: strong, reliable, focussed. Because the last shred of his childhood is over. Time to be an adult now. So, when he breaks down after serving the third ball, it's because of pain, yes, but it's not just physical pain. And it's not just sadness because he can't play anymore - it's also sadness because he didn't get to say goodbye to what he loves. Not properly.
