#hl34

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it was bad

ROASTING DAN’S ‘FASHION’ (2024) | Hard Launch Podcast #34 (2026)

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not phil wanting a good grade in naming a part of the female anatomy 😭

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third and final part of my podcast rambles under the cut! this one's just about the phatreon bit 💜

WHATEVER THEY'RE SINGING SOUNDS JUST LIKE A SONG but i can't properly place it or remember it and it's driving me crazy, all i'm hearing in my head is "i wanna be your [...] or i could be your [...]" gahhhhh

"what's on the menu, boy... man... lad..."

dan sweetie you're the one who forgot about making out during pinof and getting sent a kiss comp by amazingphil, i don't think you have much room to talk when it comes to having a poor memory

"i feel like we share a brain anyway, so i don't feel like i have to fully lock in" ooooo phil that was smooooooth

"the cousin of henceforth mctree bumfuck" DANIEL I NEARLY SPIT OUT MY LA CROIX AGAIN YOU MENACE

phil in genuine distress over that fuckass leather tshirt im crying

he wants the cookie

does dan... not know... that he wants the cookie... doesn't like... have to mean vagina?? help??

okay they truly do not know how to use ao3 i think we're safe lmao

"are you a bratty cat boy?" / "yea." EXCUSE ME???? also this is now the second?? time dan has called phil bratty i need to sit down

"i am in heat" / "we're not omega cat boys" / "dammit" what a beautiful string of sentences to have occurred next to each other

SPEAK KING (phil lester on masculinity)

holy shit do i need to get on the muse train?

AND MUSE IS ONE OF THE REASONS WE ARE TOGETHER IM GONNA CRY 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay but why was dan petting/stroking phil's fist/thumb actually so sweet omg (is this my singleness talking? this might be my singleness talking.)

catch these hands [not platonically]

the concept of rhode island being next to new york

dan gatekeeping bruised phil toe was not on my bingo card lmao

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Dan and Phil Kick Their Collective Pussy Up the Galactic Wall for Variety

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part one of my podcast ramblings under the cut as per usual! 💜

unprompted physical affection from dan always makes my heart melt awww

"because i'm a multitasking bitch" phil lester i love you (also this has the same energy to me as "doctors always wear glasses. tea.")

"im not inside your toe, your toe's not inside me. let's keep it that way"

toast face!!!!

PINCH PINCH

it has been ninety seconds. this is too much for ninety seconds. (it is absolutely not i love them dearly)

phasement candle when?

clitoral hood 🤓

"what are we gonna talk about that's not genitals" / "i thought we were gonna get arrested" wow take a look at my favorite male podcast over here damn

phil sweetie open your mail please i'm begging you

do i smell a new addition to the "a phil belongs in the kitchen" compilation?

"but i'm going to go to ao3 right now" *shivers* this must be how twitter phannies feel when phil replies to something with a whole three likes or whatever lmao

dan honey that is not how you use ao3

"take that, muscle boy, gym lad" same genre as song boy awww i'm sensing a pattern here you liiiiiiiike him

phil getting gold vip tickets in london i said oh i'm sure the lester luck is at it again lmao

the fact that they didn't pay for the pop crave mention is frying me omg

dan gatekeeping the phass i see what you're doing there danny there's no fooling me

"we serve phunt every fucking monday" SAY IT LOUDER KING (although i must say i do occasionally yearn for more colorful dan and monochromatic phil looks even though i think i'd be terrified that they'd been replaced by alien creatures if i ever actually got my wish lmao)

fly high minecraft pjs you are sorely missed

also the brutal roast of celebrities you get em dan

what's got dan so phanfic/au brained right now hmmmmm

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finally time to watch the pod! can't wait to reblog a million gifsets as always ✨✨

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okay part two of my podcast rambles below the cut!

"i've got the northern sperm in me" PHILIP MICHAEL LESTER you are the funniest man alive (also i nearly spit out my la croix omg)

"that's so gil"

SERIOUSLY WHAT HAS DAN SO FIXATED ON AU PHANFICS OMG

phil... phil honey... dan just roasted the absolute fuck out of you... do you?? not have anything to say??

little chef went bust

"we yearn for the hometown" awwwwwwww

2009 CHIQUITOS DINNER DATES IM GONNA CRY 😭😭😭😭

that whole little segment im gonna cry, phil getting all soft and just wahhhhhh baby phan protect them at all costs

dnp being the people their friends go to when they need serious major life advice is actually making me feel so many things omg

PAUSE EVERYTHING 😭😭 "go on your own world tour" / "no come with me" PHIL SAYING THAT BEFORE DAN EVEN FINISHED HIS SENTENCE DEAR LORD IM GONNA CRY i love these two and their love for each other endlessly omg how do i continue

i think dan meant ostentatious but i choose to believe that he just said that the golden pig was "contemptuous of law, religion, or decorum" because that is far funnier

ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE THAT IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION YES YES YES

dan saying he wouldn't do the hiatus today oh im actually gonna cry 🥺

HEY PHIL WHERE'S YOUR ANSWER YOU DIDN'T ANSWER COME BACK I WANNA KNOW

dan please you're scaring me with all this fanfiction

"and you're there like the colossal titan like hello how's your cloaca doin'" jesus okay now it's dan's turn to make me nearly spray my la croix everywhere

there's a crow in the room

I WANT TO TRAIN IT TO BRING ME PRESENTS phil lester i love you

sorry i can't resist but uhhhhh dan why the fuck did you think of an engagement ring when phil's talking about something bringing him presents?? (i will never stop teasing this man about this okay shhhhh this is a comedy podcast tumblr post)

PHIL LESTER COMFY SITTING HELL YES I FEEL SEEEEEEEEEN

"phil loves his doom brick" and "he's not doomscrolling, he's joyscrolling" i love it

those were some haunting affirmations, also i love that mr giggle pants couldn't keep it together, i love him dearly