“Can’t you see I’m trying?”
– semi-au (?)
“how are you feeling?”
“better,” ten replies, but the feel of the hospital gown and iv drip is uncomfortable, has him frowning a little and fidgeting in bed. “i mean, the medicine they give is disgusting but, other than that i’m okay.”
the younger boy takes a seat beside him, puling a chair close. ten watches and he wonders when they’d gotten this intimate, when this friendship of theirs had blossomed into this… this thing that even ten is unable to decipher.
“i brought you flowers,” jeongguk says and ten doesn’t miss the slight red tint that spreads across his cheeks.
“thank you,” he laughs, “but you do know that flowers aren’t allowed in here right?”
“i do,” the younger boy says and his face awkwardly twists into a half smile-half frown, eyes adorned with concern. “that’s what they told me the first five hundred times i tried to bring these in. but you like them… so i, yeah.”
ten laughs once more and nods, “you can place them over there,” he gestures to the white cabinet beside him, “and then sit here so we can talk.”
jeongguk does so, the tips of his ears red. it’s adorable and ten realizes then why perhaps once upon a time the girl he’d admired had fallen for someone like this, it isn’t too hard to figure out.
“you don’t have to visit everyday you know,” ten finally says when jeongguk returns and his eyes shift downwards slightly, land on his fingers and the needle poked into his vein. “i’ll be fine. discharged before you know it.”
when jeongguk doesn’t reply ten presses on, shifts in the bed despite the pain that surges through his back, he winces only slightly. “you don’t … you don’t have to feel guilty about this guk,” he says, “we couldn’t see the lorry coming and –”
“stop,” jeongguk cuts in, “just stop. please.”
“jeongguk, this isn’t your fault. you don’t have to come here everyday with flowers anymore, i’m fine. it was one tiny mistake and nobody got hurt in that accident –”
“nobody got hurt?” and finally he has jeongguk looking at him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes glazed over with tears. “ten you’re in the goddamn fucking hospital – you’ve been here for almost a week!”
okay true. “but i’m alive,” he replies weakly.
the last thing he’d want was for jeongguk to feel guilty, to attempt to buy him flowers because of an accident that the of them were involved in. it had been a simple friday night and somehow ten had bugged jeongguk enough to do him a favour and drive him across town – the lorry had come out of nowhere, had surprised the two of them. but jeongguk had reacted quickly, swerved the van. the accident would have been even more bloody had it not been for jeongguk’s quick reflexes.
“you still have work to do jeongguk, you don’t have to waste your time –”
“i’m not wasting my time – fuck, ten – can’t you see that i’m trying?” he snaps and his breaths are shaky. “i’m trying to use my time wisely! i’m trying to spend it all with you.”
silence falls between the two of them for a moment and ten can only stare, lips parted in confusion. “what?” he finally asks, “what do you mean?”
“just,” jeongguk sighs, “i thought i almost lost you and my heart fell out of my own fucking chest – and then i realized that maybe – that maybe all this time it was you that i … forget it.”
ten doesn’t reply, his eyes are wide and it takes him even longer for the shock to settle in, the medicine beginning to take on it’s effect. “okay,” is all he says, “alright.”
“alright?” jeongguk turns to him, voice a little softer.
“yeah,” he finally says. “just, i’m going to take a nap okay? i’m getting drowsy and i… don’t go?”
“i won’t,” jeongguk replies, “i’ll be here until they chase me out again.”
at this ten turns to the flowers, gaze falling onto them. daffodils. oh.
