Okay so I LOVE what you have so far of the Hogwarts Please! au!!!!
I present… Part 2
Draco wakes up the next morning to a phone call from a number he doesn’t know. His roommate makes angry noises until he answers it, silencing Queen Bee.
“Rise and shine baby ferret it’s time for a tour of your new home!” Came a vaguely familiar voice.
“Who is this?” Draco asked the caller and the clock on his night stand, it read 7:30 am.
“Shitty. Come one man get up and grab a coffee. We need to functioning before we can pregame. The lactose team already has their eggs up and ready to party. We have a reputation to uphold.”
Draco drags himself out of bed and through his rather extensive skin care routine ( He has delicate skin it’s important!) with only eight long suffering sighs from his roommate. He makes it to the house or HAUS as Shitty keeps calling it. Honestly, Draco is worried that there might be something wrong with the red head. The others are there as well, including the other freshman who also look like they are not fully awake yet. Draco barely understands what is being asked of him outside of the fact that this very dirty house seems to belong to the hockey team and a few of them live there. Also he will have to run through it while naked, drunk, and blind folded but that’s a problem for future Draco.
The shinning glory of the morning is access to the Kitchen. A kitchen with an over he will night have to fight over with half of the kids on his floor. It really is a good thing that Draco is a wizard because the refrigerator and pantry do not have what would be traditionally called ‘baking staples’.
“Did you just magic a pie into existence?” Asks Tank Engine.
“Um, sometimes when I find a kitchen pies just happen.” Draco admits. It’s his left over baby magic at work but they don’t need to know he still has that.
Captain Harry Potter is the only member of the team not impressed with the pie.
“If we are going to be ready for training next week the team can’t suddenly be adding this many baked goods to our meal plans.”
No thank you. No this is delicious. He doesn’t even try Draco’s Siracha pie. If Draco wasn’t genetically opposed to upfront confrontation he might have sad something rude. Instead he had just felt his eye twitch.
“Does Harry want to murder me? Should I be expecting a challenge to a wizard’s duel or something?” Draco asks after the second week of practice when he is really starting to get the impression that the captain doesn’t want him.
“Nah man, Harry just gets extra bitch before the season starts. He will calm back down once we have our first game.” Seamus ‘Horsey’ Finnegan tells Draco in the locker room after a rather brutal practice.
“When you dad is Skinny Jimmy there is a lot of pressure to perform.” Shitty R. Weasley tells Draco while standing completely naked in the center of the room.
“Who’s Skinny Jimmy?” Draco asks undoing his laces. The locker room goes completely silent. The locker room has never been completely silent as far as Draco knows. “What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“Momma have you ever heard of Skinny Jimmy Potter?” Draco really feels like if his mother doesn’t know than he might be in the clear.
“Oh yes. I used to have his poster in my room in college. A wizarding hockey poster mind you. He used to flex and wink all the time. All the girls had one.”
Draco laid down on his bed face first. Clearly he really is out of the loop in all things hockey and wizarding hockey.
James “Skinny Jimmy” Potter is the greatest hockey player to ever been born a wizard. He has won the stately cup four times with two different teams. He also happened to be devastatingly good looking. Draco can see why his mother used to have his poster, because the only different between father and son seems to be eye color. And the fact that Harry is in college when his father had been drafted straight out of the Q. Draco also did not understand why James Potter had ever been called Skinny Jimmy because that man did not look like he had ever been particularly skinny. But hockey nick names were something he had come to accept made no sense.
“Why do you ask love?” His mother’s voice cut in from Draco’s spiral of thoughts.
“His son is my captain.” Draco admits mournfully.
“OOOooooOOOOO, Lucious!”
“Momma no.”
“Braxie is going to school with the son of Skinny Jimmy! We have to get tickets. I want an autograph! Lucious don’t walk away from me when I am talking to you.” Draco hangs up rather than listen to the chaos that is about to ensue.
Harry isn’t trying to be a dick.
“Yeah you are man.” Shitty breaks into his thoughts. Harry glares. Shits is currently naked on Harry’s bed, something that Harry has just come to accept at this point in their friendship. “Draco is a good little ferret. Not his fault his name doesn’t work with nick names well. We will find something eventually. Boy has a middle name he is hiding from us.”
“I believe in your and Seamus’s magic powers of nick names.” If it was left to Harry he would just call everyone by their first or last names but hockey does not allow for such normal names.
“You need to work with him Harry.” Shitty begins again.
“Yeah I know.”
The problem is Draco Malfoy, southern baking wizard, fastest guy on the ice besides Harry. The problem is he is blond. The problem is he smiles easy and Harry has never felt anything but magic come easy in his life. But you can’t run off and just be a wizard when your father is the greatest gift to hockey in the last hundred years.
The problem is his therapist thinks he needs to figure out how to connect with Draco. For reasons that Harry isn’t ready to speak aloud. Reasons that involve his smile and how his hair looks in the sunlight.
The problem is uncle Sirius on the phone telling Harry to knock some head and then putting uncle Remus on the phone to tell Harry to breathe.
The problem is that Harry wants something and doesn’t have the words or the actions to express himself.
Th dragon open’s its mouth and starts making what sounds like a knocking noise. The whisk, that Draco currently was, did a dance to oppose the knocking dragon. The dragon opened it’s bought and the knocking noise increased in volume. After a few more minutes of this Draco realizes that the knocking sound her is hearing is not in fact coming from his dream and is real.
He falls off the the bed trying to get to the door, still tangled in his sheets. He opens the door to find none other than Harry fucking Potter pounding on his door. Draco blinks for a moment. Harry seems equally baffled. Draco then remembered that he had kicked off his pajamas in the night, and that he normally didn’t wear underpants under his pajamas.
“Yes?” Draco asked finally when it had become clear that hockey captain Harry Potter was just going to stand there and stare at Draco in nothing but his birthday suit.
“Checking practice.” Harry offered finally. “Get dressed.” And then turned around.
Draco seeing that this was not a matter to be discussed closed the door and turned to get dressed. It was then that Draco realized it was a little bit before four in the fucking a.m. He groaned into the darkness and hunted for some clothes.
The worst part wasn’t to four am wake up. The worst part was Harry Potter in a tight black shirt pushing into Draco over and over again.
“How long are we going to be doing this?” Draco asked after the first contact.
“However long it takes you to get over this weird mental block.” Harry skated around, “But there is a youth tournament at seven so we have to be off the ice by then.”
“Coco Puff.”
“Well that’s not so bad of a nick name dear.” His mother offered.
“I had to put my foot down when Shitty said we should just call me Puff Daddy.” Draco groaned. He did not need this in his life. The great and wonderful Harry Potter had not designed to give Draco any time off from their new checking practice. It was up to three times a week and it was seriously cutting into his beauty sleep. He had found a dry spot between his brows this morning and Draco was not happy to see that all of this was affecting the condition of his skin.
“Isn’t that what one calls their kink master?” Narcissa wondered with that airy tone she got when she was teasing him terribly.
“Mother!”
“What? I have the internet.” She smiled slyly at him.
“I will get in this oven so help me.” Draco pointed to the very rickety Haus oven which was now his only life line for baking ever since the floor had voted that he could no longer bake there. Honestly the floor was over reacting, he did not stress bake at 3 am regularly, and shouldn’t drunk college kids be much more receptive to baked goods.
I am so glad I have a 45 minute drive home to discover my mistake.
Harry having over dosed on the anti anxiety medication. Harry called The Golden Boy by the press. Harry having his super famous uncles Sirius Black and Remus Lupin who also play hockey.
Draco who is good at potions and baking, because they are both more science than art.
Harry having to step in front of the whole sports world with the pressure of what his father did on him. Draco feeling like he can’t tell anybody about it.
I still don’t know who is the best Shitty match. Maybe Ron.
Dear Anon that is working iwth me on the Hogwarts Please AU,
Come off anon. I have discovered a grave error. It can’t be Draco is Jack. I was wrong. Harry has to be Jack.
Think about it.
James “Skinny Jimmy” Potter who got the cup three times. Canadian Harry who doesn’t understand current events and like weird documentaries about old wars. Lilly Potter, fashion, model. Charlie Weasley as the ex with a pet dragon instead of a personality.
Draco who has a strained relationship with his father but talks to his mother every day. Draco not liking taking hits because he has never had to check before.
Pansy is still Lardo you can take that from my cold dead hands.
WE can make this work. I know we can do it.
I am writing this. No one can stop me know. We have spent WAY too much time trying to figure this out.
This AU is so much more complicated than I thought it'd be. Dean and Seamus could be on a pro team maybe? Is Draco gonna be out? Mrs. Norris as Fry Guy made me die laughing.
Listen when I get home I am breaking out scrivener and we are making some kind of character to character map of some kind with a flow chart and pictures.
Because now we are determined.
Draco is gonna come out in a statement. Minerva is gonna have a spray bottle and spray the press any time they do dumb shit. (Mc-Mom-agall for GM CLEARLY IS THE ONLY CHOICE WE HAVE HERE!)
I think Drumstag is the Lax team. I mean i don’t actively hate Victor but somebody’s gotta do it.
Also we need to name this something so I can start tagging it appropriately to create my research.
Maybe post-hogwarts with no war and Harry moves to America with a squib relation and joins a hockey team at a rec center and goes to college and finds Draco there on the team and he didn't really know him because Harry isn't the BWL. (1/2)
And it’d be more modern so insta and crap exist. So there is the Charlie and his dragon bit and then Samwell could be Wizarding college with all kinds of sports and Harry can be on the hockey team. And then CP shenanigans occur maybe ? (2/2)
I am with you. We can do this. Together we will get Harry and Draco together while listening to Beyonce. I believe in us. I also believe in Charlie making outfits for his pet Hungarian Horntail named Char.
This Au is happening. i am going to write something for it. and we are going to keep working until we fit in everyone we can.
I mean where are Seamus and Dean. I feel like maybe they have to be our D-Men. Like I don’t know man.
Why are there so many Harry Potter characters and so few Check Please characters?
I'm thinking Draco as chaser and he trains Harry as a reserve chaser with Harry being the seeker? Crabbe and Goyle as beaters. Ron as keeper and Blaise is a chaser. (I'm having trouble keeping this au straight in my head. )
This AU is a MESS. And absolute mess. I almost want to just go back to Hockey but at the same time I am now emotionally invest in Charlie Weasley having a dragon and an Instagram and not being over Draco.
YESSSSSSSS Samwell Quidditch Team but with baking and dragons
“How can you be so bad at Potions but so good at baking?”
“Do you want my cooking or not Draco?”
Okay but like Draco and Charlie facing off in that one game, Harry sitting at home watching with Pansy.
Crabbe and Goyle saying Sawsome!
Okay but like what position does everyone play? And like what are we substituting for checking practice? Because clearly Draco has to take small Harry out onto the field every morning at 4 am to practice something. Dodging bludgers?
Draco in photography class “Is your main focus of your project about this one dark haired team mate?” “No.” “Okay but like all your pictures are of this guy.” “No they are of the team.”
Charlie wearing a jumper that says “Sorry I have plans with my dragon”
