#hopedyad

[weaponraised]

@hopedyad | gray empress rey

[magicandsciencemuses]

@hopedyad​ gets a plotted starter from Ben based on this post

He'd been startled awake by a whisper, a feeling, rolling over on his black silk sheets and almost coming face-to-face with a vision of Rey. It was far more vivid than their last bond connection -- solid and clear -- enough that he could see the soft line of freckles across her nose.

"Don't go!" he gasped out. If she'd been close enough, he would have reached out to try to grab her wrist, to hold on to the only person in the galaxy who gave him the slightest sense of stability. "Rey, please... please don't go. I can't take it. I can't... I'm..."

And then he couldn't stop. He told her everything, everything, how Snoke had been twisting him up inside ever since he could remember, probably before. How his parents couldn't help him, couldn't 'handle' him, and he'd been sent away to Skywalker as though he'd misbehaved for accessing a power his own blood had forced upon him. How when he'd reacted in fear against Luke and a bolt of lightning had sheared the temple apart, he'd been chased across systems by a vengeful fellow student. How Ren, Founder of the Knights, had been the one he'd killed to secure his place as Kylo Ren.

"And I'd take it back! I'd take it all back if I could!" he sobbed, almost howling, face streaked with heavy tears, fingers clenched so tightly in his sheets that he'd likely torn them in places. "I never asked for it to be like this! I never asked to be born!"

He was no Supreme Leader now. Ben was just a boy, weeping and broken and so alone. "Say something," he blubbered at Rey, dark waterlogged eyes lifting to find hers.

[sithroyal]

          @hopedyad​: "It wasn't your fault."

          Dark eyes rolled and Ben turned away from the flourishing garden to target her with a narrowed gaze. “You say that and expect me to believe you? How hopeful.” Ben didn’t often look back on his parents, it was useless to gaze at the past and dwell on those regrets. But he would learn from them. What else was there for him to do but take lessons from the choices he made. 

Cause and effect. He made the conscious decision to kill his father and almost shot his mother out of her own flagship. Because of that, his father was dead and his mother had almost been. It wasn’t until later that he lost her too - he’d all but murdered her by his own hand. His shoulders tensed as an assumption began creeping into his head.

“Say that all you’d like, use it to your comfort if you must, but we both know the truth of the situation. They’re both dead because of me, in one way or another. So yes, it was my fault, that’s a simple matter of fact that cannot be denied. However, they made their choices as well.”

Patting his hands free of dirt, Ben snatched the basket of vegetables from the ground beside him and used the Force to guide it onto a wrought iron table nearby. His gaze was on her again - guarded and thoughtful. 

“Are you saying that I should be blaming myself for their deaths? It nearly implies that you believe I haven’t thought of that. How much blood do you think you’ll find on my hands? Six years with the First Order and I believed that what I was doing was right at the time - I can assure you that there’s not a lot I regret but I still learned from those years. Have you?”

[sheikah]

You are worth every word of love. Worth every good deed, worth every smile, every tear of joy. You are worth the suns rays and the warm air, you are worth the happiness and the laughter. You are worth everything good and beautiful. You are anything but worthless. Give everyone and anyone this message, go to random blogs, someone you don’t even know, stretch your ask limit, anon or not, tell them they are worth it. Because the world needs more love. ♥

This is SO very kind, sweet, and appreciated. Thank you so so much!!!

[lorsanbitch]

You are worth every word of love. Worth every good deed, worth every smile, every tear of joy. You are worth the suns rays and the warm air, you are worth the happiness and the laughter. You are worth everything good and beautiful. You are anything but worthless. Give everyone and anyone this message, go to random blogs, someone you don’t even know, stretch your ask limit, anon or not, tell them they are worth it. Because the world needs more love. ♥

[calledbythelight]

@hopedyad​:

Rey looked over at Ben, gaze pulled from the stars to stare at him a moment. She wondered at the meaning behind that. Her gaze moving over his face slowly. She’d meant it on a shallow level, but she felt it through the force. The force was in balance, the galaxy was already rebuilding. It was quiet, comparatively to when she’d awoken her gifts. She reached out to take his hand. “You ok?”

Her question should be one easy to answer. Isn’t that the sort of thing most people simply acquiesce to? One says they are fine whether or not they mean it, but lying to Rey is a moot point. She sees through those things to the core of him, the parts that he hides from other people. She would know. The galaxy was calm, at rest, and it was a place he no longer belonged. 

     “ In the surface sense of things, yes. Everything is just different now. ”

And I do not belong in this new world.

[savedsolo]

@hopedyad​ / starter 

It had been weeks since the return to the Resistance, a name that is no longer befitting thanks to their efforts in destroying the First Order, and there had been little acceptance of his return. Ben understands that there are actions that can never be forgiven. How many of their friends had he mercilessly killed, how many of them had he captured? It is time that cannot be repaid and it had been a bitter revelation after the hope that Rey had given. It was difficult but not impossible to hide those deep rooted feelings from her, but now felt like a good time. Waiting on the sleeper, legs resting over the edge, Ben watches as walks inside of the closed off room - fully prepared to discuss what had been resting uncomfortably on his mind   ‘   Rey    ’  her name flows from his lips with a melodic twinge    ‘   we need to talk     ’

[jedirisen-a]

@hopedyad​ and I are not here for JJ’s bullshit.