Joseph’s eyes snapped open, his hands still cradled on Robert's face. It was not morning. He was not in Robert's truck. And this was not the desert. Joseph felt like cold water had been dumped on him, pulling his hands back and tucking them in close to himself in horror. “Oh— Robert I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean— I—“ He pushed himself back, clambering off the bed carefully, a hand slapped over his mouth.
“I’m really really sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing I—“ He shook his head, backed up. “You made your feelings very clear and I am not trying to— to mess with you... string you on or— I just was having a really vivid dream I— I need to go now.”
"S'okay," Robert said mildly as he followed Joseph off of the bed. "I know you need to go, but just hold on a second. I don't want you to leave feeling like you did something wrong."
The corners of Robert's lips curled up into a private smile, his eyes squinting as if telling an inside joke. "You might hate me for this. The first night we were here, the night I slept on the couch. I had a... 'really vivid dream', too." He paused to lick his lips, amused, stunned, trying to catch up. "I got up in the middle of the night. You were fast asleep... Joseph..." Robert huffed a repentant laugh, ran a hand through his hair. "I kissed you that night." He winced, his smile breaking out into a wide grin. He had no fucking clue why he was smiling like an idiot.
Robert stuffed his hands in his pants pockets, his shoulders hunched up to his ears. "So, you know, we can call it even." He held his tongue between his teeth, on his toes. This really was not the appropriate behavior, and Robert wasn't sure where it was coming from. Possibly because the situation was so damn awkward and just plain terrible that he could absolutely not take it seriously.
Robert kept his eyes dutifully closed, his other senses picking up the slack. He heard the faint rustling of the robe, the peeling of gauze from skin. He grimaced in sympathy, murmuring another apology for cutting Joseph like that, even if it had been to save him from a much worse situation.
“Thanks for doing this for me. The last thing I need is a head injury for showering drunk,” Joseph said with a snort. He took Robert's extended hands and stepped into the shower; he swayed, prompting Robert to clamp onto him with a firm grip.
"You tryin to steal my thunder, Joseph?" Robert joked. "I'm supposed to be the hopeless alcoholic." He placed a hand over one of Joseph's as Joseph gave a sad little chuckle, then said more solemnly, "I'll be your human safety bar any day." Robert's hair was flattened over his eyes, rivulets of water running down his face. "Say the word and I'll scrub you clean too. I'll make a bet with myself that I could do it all with my eyes still closed."
Joseph was blushing, marveling at their switched positions. Joseph the one with the drinking problem, the sex problem -- Robert went to therapy. And yet they still ended up like this, unexpectedly intimate, always in the weirdest of circumstances. Robert as his savior. Joseph would never stop loving him.
Joseph was overwhelmed, then, with the urge to kiss Robert. He remembered what Robert had said earlier. Asked if he could kiss him. That he wanted to fix everything. Joseph suddenly felt like crying again, and he knew his voice was choked with emotion when he finally answered.
“I know for a fact you’d be able to do it with your eyes shut. Maybe even a hand behind your back,” Joseph said, and though a hint of humor clouded through the emotion, Robert's smile faded into a sad one, his brow furrowing. Joseph picked up a genuine smile, soft, that only appeared because he knew no one was able to see it.
“I know how good you are with first aid," Joseph continued, "So if you’d like to clean around my cut for me, I’d appreciate the help.” Joseph took one of the soft rags and wet it, lathered on it a bit of the hotel body wash.
"Sure thing," Robert murmured, "That's why they call me Nurse Small." He shivered suddenly as the rag was pressed into his hand. Joseph ran his fingers over the backs of Robert's, closed them carefully into a grip.
"Who calls you that?" Joseph asked, voice laced with amusement.
Robert bit his lip, his cheeks darkening with warmth. After a beat, he asked quietly, "Turn around for me? Eyes will stay closed." He slid his hand down Joseph's arm, to his side.
[img desc: Robert in a white t-shirt with his eyes closed has his arms out for Joseph to hold while they stand in a shower. Joseph has a gash on his back. Robert is grinning & Joseph is staring at him adoringly.]
