May I please request Hotch x Fem!Reader where the reader has a secret talent for dancing and he walks in on her dancing seductively?
omg please i forgot about this request, but i have a cute idea soooo yesss here it is!! i listened to the song that i titled it after by Michael Bublé and Nelly Furtado as I wrote!! this is the song i envisioned reader dancing too as you will read. i’m sure there will be errors, this was a quick write and post. enjoy!!!
Quando, Quando, Quando
The morning sun was warming the air in the bedroom as you sorted through some now clean clothes from the laundry basket. You’d decided that since you’d been woken up by Aaron getting up to run, you’d make the most of the time you’d had so early.
This was the second night this week now that you’d shared a bed with Aaron, and things were still up in the air. You’d had a mutual understanding that this would be kept on the down low for the time being, but you weren’t quite sure what was going on in his head when it came to your relationship. Oddly, you’d been content just spending a few hours together, especially since much of that time when they two of you were awake was spent getting to know each-other much more intimately. That was enough for you, for the time being.
Luckily he’d had his go bag with him with a few extra pairs of clothing, including some he would wear to go for a run. He decided to leave around 5:30, and it was now almost 6. Clad in only Aaron’s Mary Baldwin t-shirt and a very skimpy pair of lacy panties, you decided to fold laundry until he came back. Putting on one of your favorite easy listening playlists, the sweet voice of Michael Bublé filled your room from your bluetooth speaker as you hummed along to the song, “Tell me, when will you be mine? Tell me quando, quando, quando…”
You’d always loved to dance, taking classes and lessons growing up, and you hadn’t danced anywhere besides weddings and bars since. However, you were one of the best dancers in your studio growing up, and every time you danced, you felt that nothing had changed. The salsa-style song made you involuntarily start swaying as you folded a few pairs of jeans.
Unfortunately for you, you hadn’t heard the front door of the apartment open and close as Aaron returned, probably because he was trying to be quiet in case you’d decided to go back to sleep. As he shrugged off his windbreaker, he heard the softness of music coming from your room, and furrowed his brow in curiosity as he quietly made his way toward it.
You’d began to give into the rhythm, especially since you (thought you) were alone dancing in your underwear. You hummed lightly as you swayed your hips very seductively in wide, slow motions. The song even repeated, and you let it go… you were definitely feeling yourself for a moment. You may as well enjoy it.
What you didn’t realize was that Aaron had made his way to your doorway, and was completely and totally mesmerized watching you dance. Not only were you very good, but he was a bit distracted by the fact that he could see glimpses of your almost-bare butt as you moved so sexily back and forth… and you were in his t-shirt.
After about a minute of watching, he decided to make himself known by clearing his throat. You’d gasped and dropped the shirt you were putting on a hanger onto the floor, jumping to face the door. Immediately upon facing Aaron and seeing the amused look on his face, your own face turned bright red, “Aaron! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”
He smiled, still leaning on your door frame, “Sorry, I felt a little bit guilty for how much I was enjoying what I was watching just now.”
You felt embarrassed, but also a little bit turned on thinking about Aaron watching you move like you just were. Moving toward him now and bracing your hands on his under armor shirt, you asked as the music still played, “Like what you see, Hotchner?”
You felt his cool hand come beneath the round of your ass as you leaned into him, “Probably a little too much, yeah. I had um… I had no idea you were so talented.”
You knew he was turned on by the husk in his tone, but also you knew he was being honest by the look in his eye. You truly were flattered, you hadn’t really let anyone know you loved to dance or that you even did it growing up. With his hand still on your bum, you began moving ever-so slightly to the music, “You know, I could teach you a thing or two if you’d like.”
He chucked and stood up from the door frame, letting his other hand fall to your waist as you moved, “Quando, quando, quando?”
hey dearest, could you please write a Hotchner x Reader fic (with an established relationship), where Y/N and Hotch argues heavily over some minor thing at home or in the office (if you choose to write Y/N as the part of the BAU team), with fluffy ending, apologies and stuff? I was just thinking about what would Aaron be like in an argument/fight, hence the idea. thank you sm in advance <33
hii!
so, i suck at writing fighting and tense situations and dialogue fro that, so i decided to go for a little "show, don't tell" thing instead – and it ends with fluff, because we all want hotch fluff <3 i hope you enjoy this, and thank you for requesting!
masterlist → requests are open!
It was hard to believe for anyone, really, how he reacted whenever the tension between you rose. Memories – no, he wouldn’t call them memories; memories were supposed to be happy, and there was little about his childhood that made him happy. Flashes of tense situations with his father would flicker in front of his eyes, as if someone had pressed play on a horrible bio–pic that no one wanted to watch. Growing up, he had been afraid of the anger – afraid of turning into whatever kind of monster his father was. In a response, his body and mind would shut down whenever there was a confrontation, his fight or flight response making him fight whatever bit of his gene pool that could turn him into his father.
Despite the position and respect Aaron Hotchner held within the Federal Bureau of Investigation, he was conflict–shy, preferring to keep as many happy as possible, at the very same time, regardless of what it did to himself.
He couldn’t quite remember what you had argued about, though you would later reassure him that it been a stupid little thing, being stressed and worn out from work and not being able to leave it outside the door causing you to lash out on him – and he had nothing to do with it. However, Aaron did remember how he had been standing in the doorway to your living room, jaw tense and gaze set on the floor – his father had always been the most violent whenever he had made eye-contact with Aaron.
You had heard the stories, shared to you over a glass of wine at David’s mansion; the stories of how your Aaron, or Hotch as the team called him, would take the heat for their every action and every move, how he had no problem looking detectives and officers, or other agents, right in the eye and tell them off. Derek confirmed he had seen Aaron take on arguments with detectives in multiple precincts across the country, without even batting an eye, and it was fascinating, almost.
The way they described him, it was nothing like the Aaron who stepped through the front door of your home at the end of the day.
This fight, or whatever it was, served as a good example of this. He wasn’t the hot–shot FBI–agent who stared you down, telling you exactly how he wanted it, or why you shouldn’t question him. He was a broken man, from a broken home, who struggled coping with his past, who struggled not to let his past become his future. Throughout the fight he had been distant, his hands still at his sides, fingers twitching as he wanted to reach out for you, hold you close, and settle the dust. You knew that was what it meant, he wasn’t as sure. He would shoot in his arguments, voice thick as he fought his own emotions; he didn’t want to explode, he didn’t want to be angry. He avoided looking at you, not out of disrespect, but out of his own fear. Glancing down, you noticed how he was rubbing his index and thumb together, the Adam's apple in his throat moving with every nervous, uncomfortable swallow he did.
At one point, you reached common ground, reaching the agreement that life was tough, but you would always get through it together. Neither one of you would remember the argument in a day or two. You made the first move, having stopped your pacing, stepping closer to him as you took his hands in yours. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, leaning forward to bury your face in his chest. He stood completely without a movement, molded to the floor like a statue, afraid that even the slightest lingering of anger in his body (that didn’t even stem from your argument) would have him flipping on you. “I’m sorry for unloading all of this on you; no matter how many idiots I have to cope with at work, I can be certain your day has been at least fifteen times worse.”
It took him a few minutes before he dared to move, his hands leaving yours as his arms came around your middle, pulling you into his warm embrace, holding you still against his chest. His heartbeat was calming down, the feeling of you against his chest anchoring him. “I’m sorry too.” Aaron lowered his head, mumbling his words into your hair, followed by a gentle kiss. “We should take a few days off, just you and me. Jack can stay with Jessica, and you and I could go away, disappearing from our everyday life.”
“Is Aaron Hotchner actually proposing to take time off work?” You chuckled, tilting your head back to look at him, for the first time that night taking in how tired he looked, though a small smile was threatening to part his lips, the corners of them already turned upwards. “You know I’d always go anywhere with you.”
“Then it’s a deal.” He hummed, lowering his head to press a somewhat hesitant, but tender kiss to your lips, grunting a little as you returned it, a hand finding its way to the back of his neck to hold his head in place against yours. “Anywhere you want to go, as long as we can stay in the hotel room and cuddle all the time.”
You chuckled, pressing another kiss to his lips, hand rubbing at the skin of his neck. “That sounds perfect to me.”
request by @wanniiieeee : hiiii! i love your shrike (aaron hotchner x reader) so much! 🥺 can i request for a part 2 of it with fluffy ending?
a/n: i almost didn't wanna do this request??? im a sucker for fluff but shrike was my favorite piece i've done, like ever, across both blogs (and it was ANGST) but i like this almost as much. i'll be writing my first smut on here soon!
Their phone began to ring as their flashlight glazed over the interior of the empty house. “Y/L/N,” they answered, eyes making contact with Reid.
“Y/L/N,” Hotch’s panicked voice echoed out. “You have to get out of there now. You and Reid both. We’re on our way there now.”
They stopped in their tracks, eyes widening with realization. They repeated the words the unsub had left on the last crime scene. “You can never go home.”
“Y/N,” his voice almost cracked. “Please, get out of there it’s rigged to blow.”
They didn’t bother to end the call before they yelled at Spencer, who was standing by the front door. “Spence! Run, get out!”
Y/N’s body chased after his, a few feet behind him in paces. In the corner of their eye, they saw the familiar shape of the SUV’s. Feet met the driveway as they heard a click, and the rush of heat and air against their back. Spencer fell forward, landing on his knees and elbows in the impact. Y/N’s body was thrown forward, collapsing heavy against the hard ground.
Aaron only heard a rush in his ears as he watched their body fall to the ground unconscious. He felt like he couldn’t move fast enough, like lead weighed down his legs. He was conscious of his mouth moving, barking orders for emergency response teams.
He kneeled by their body, shaking hands checking their pulse, a heavy sigh releasing from his lips. His hands slid to their cheeks, tapping gently in an attempt to wake them.
“Y/N,” He said softly, pleadingly. “Wake up, sweetheart. Come on, wake up.”
They groaned underneath his hands, wincing slightly from the impact. They’re arms reach up to grasp his wrist. “Aaron?”
He sighed, bowing his head in relief, then met their eyes again. He smoothed his thumb gently over their cheek. “You’re okay.”
“Relatively speaking,” they joked, trying to lighten the mood. Hotch hid a smile behind his stern expression. Only they would joke after this.
“Y/N,” his voice strained. Their fingers squeezed comfortingly around his wrists, before moving to sit up, keeping his palms in their place on their face. “I thought you were- before I could-”
“Y/N!” Spencer yelled as he ran towards his childhood best friend. Hotch cleared his throat as he leaned brack from them, removing his hands to help them up. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I should have waited for you to-”
“It’s fine, Spence. I’m just a little bruised.” They continued to look at Hotch, as if expecting him to finish his earlier thought. Instead, his eyes drifted down to his feet.
“Both of you need to get checked out by EMT’s.” He walked away, hands flexing at his sides.
“What was that about?” Reid smiled softly.
“Well I wouldn’t know, genius,” they smacked his chest. “Since you seem to keep cockblocking me somehow.”
Once the team had gotten back to Quantico, Y/N knew there were words left unsaid. Everyone shuffled around their desks, getting whatever paperwork they needed to take home for the evening. Spencer was trying to convince them to meet an old friend of his for drinks.
“I don’t know Spence,” they hesitated, eyes drifting up to their unit chief’s office, making a choice to get the needed answers. “I’ll be right back.”
Hotch wanted to ignore the knock on his door, but it was painfully obvious he existed within the confines of his office walls. His voice was rough as he answered with a “come in.”
“Can we talk for a moment?” Y/N sighed, trying to hold together the courage that kept getting smushed down. “Please?”
“What about?” Hotch barely lifted his vision, focusing on writing some bullshit on the reports.
“Back in Boston, after the explosion,” they responded. “What were you going to say?”
His pen paused on the paper, ink bleeding through the paper as he tried to collect his thoughts. He cleared his throat, hand resuming its movement. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Their arms crossed against their chest, clearly not satisfied with his answer. “Oh, you don’t?”
“No I don’t,” Hotch looked up then, attempting to keep a firm gaze. “Will that be all?”
Their hands and face fell, back straightening once again at the blatant ignorance of their tension. “Yes, sir.”
Aaron winced at the title and watched them walk away.
“Spence!” he heard Y/N call out a good distance away. “Tell this friend of yours to pick me up at 7.”
The pen in Aaron’s smacked under the pressure of his fist.
~~~~~~~
“Spence,” they sighed. “Your friend already canceled.”
“What?” his voice echoed through the speaker of the phone. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N, I thought he would have gone through with it. Maybe they’re still hung up on their ex.”
“Spencer!” they chastised. “You set me up with someone newly broken up?”
“I thought they had gotten over it!”
A knock resided loudly against Y/N’s door. They sighed, shoulders dropping with the weight of the day. In a sour mood already, the last thing they wanted to do was talk to someone they weren’t expecting.
“I gotta go, Spence.” The call ended, jaw clenching in irritation.
They swung the door open, ready to get whatever conversation over with so they could sleep. Yet, the unexpected came in the form of their boss at their door. “Hotch? What’s wrong? Is there a case-”
“Don’t go on the date.”
Y/N paused, confused welling up on their face. “Huh?”
“Your date,” Aaron said firmly, beggingly. “Don’t go on it, please.”
Their arm dropped down to their side, an almost annoyed look crossing their face. “I don’t understand, sir.”
“Don’t call me that,” he wrenched his eyes closed, pained. “Not when that’s what you say to me when you’re ignoring your feelings.”
Now, there was anger. Their brows furrowed with offense. “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t say it before and I should have. I should have said it a long time ago, when I first realized, or- or I should have said it that night in my office. I regret everything about that night. I didn’t say it when you wanted me to, when you needed me to, so I’m saying it now. I care about you, way more than I thought I would, so please- don’t go on that date.”
He thought the anger would have disappeared by now. Instead, they rolled their eyes and crossed their arms.
“Are you messing with me?” It was his turn to look confused, he straightened his back, and took a confused breath, opening his mouth to speak. “I mean, shit Aaron, I’ve been trying to get you to do something for what? Three years now? And after that night, I thought- I thought that was it. That I was wrong about everything, that I was trying for nothing so I stopped. And then Boston happened and all you did was confuse me more. And now you’re here after I’m trying, really I am trying so fucking hard to move on.”
“You were trying to move on?”
“Yes!” they cried. “Because after 3 years of being in love with you, I had finally convinced myself that nothing could ever happen.”
“Well you were wrong,” he chuckled.
“Obviously, Aaron,” they sighed, opening the door wider.
He came closer, their bodies inches away from each other, hands tentatively reaching up to cup their cheeks, murmuring softly, “Y/N.”
“What?” They bit out softly, leaning into the touch, the one they had only experienced for a sliver of time before. He smiled, the sass endearing.
“I’m in love with you, too.” They’re hands came up to rest on his wrists.
“You heard that, huh?” they said softly, cheeks barely tinged pink.
Aaron chuckled, pressing his body slightly against. “Oh yeah.”
His lips felt warm, but refreshing all the same. The feel of his mouth slotted against theirs was something Y/N knew they could never tire of. His rings raked through their hair softly, as he smiled softly into the kiss. Y/N hummed, moving their hands to his neck to pull him closer. His tongue moved softly against theirs, before nibbling softly at their bottom lip.
They both pulled away in an attempt to catch some air. Aaron rested his lips on their forehead.
Y/N smiled, arms tightening around his body. “You mean to tell me we could have been doing that for three years?”
He chuckled, “That doesn’t matter now.”
“Oh,” they laughed, placing a hand over his chest. “It definitely still matters.”
Aaron laughed as he looked down at the thing that had been too far out of his reach for years, yet he knew he belonged to them all the same.
a/n: sorry this is so short, i had a surprisingly hard time writing it? i rewrote it like six times because i didn’t like it and i ended up with this. i really hope you like this!! thank you so much for requesting!
also! you’re supposed to keep your baby with you in the same room for the first six months, but i didn’t know that until after- so just pretend you don’t lol.
your feet were planted unsteadily on the floor of the nursery, eyes half open and voice still lidded with exhaustion. “hey, baby,” you whispered, hands extending to the crying baby inside her crib.
the moment her head reached your chest, she quieted down, and you closed your eyes, the effects of being yanked from well needed rest due to piercing screams of a newborn catching up to you. biting back a yawn, you began to sway slowly.
your eyes opened at the creaking of footsteps, and you turned, lips beginning to curve into a smile at the sight of your husband. “hey, i’ll take care of it,” he murmured, eyes dragging from your own to the small body in your arms. you looked down at your daughter and shook your head, “‘s okay, i got her.”
you saw him smile and walk closer to you, one of his fingers lightly touching the crown of lola’s head.
your head lolled to drop on his shoulder as you swayed, waiting for lola to fall asleep again.
aaron waited for you until you set your daughter down, following behind him as he guided your sleep-ridden self back to your own bed.
you hummed as you laid your head on his chest, his hands tracing random shapes on your hip. opening an eye, you caught a peek of the time on the clock and smiled. “merry christmas, aaron,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his jaw as he said it back.
-
that morning, tiny fingers and excited squeals stole the sleep away from you yet again, although you awoke with a smile and a kiss to jack’s cheek.
“hey bug,” you murmured, still sleep-drunk as you ran your fingers through jack’s hair.
“it’s christmas! we need to get up!” jack begged, pulling at your arm, and you laughed. “i know, merry christmas, jack,” you told him, smile growing on your lips when he nodded, grip tightening on your arm out of excitement. “let’s wake dad up so we can open presents.”
jack nodded again and his attention was immediately on aaron, tugging the bedsheets and blankets off of him. you squeezed the hand he had on your waist, waking him up slowly so he wouldn’t be startled by the excited hands prodding at his arms.
“dad!” jack dragged out, and you chuckled, moving your legs to the side so you could get off the bed. “alright, bug, i’m going to go to get your sister and you and dad’ll wait for us downstairs to open presents, okay?” you offered, and jack nodded, too preoccupied with waking his already awake father up.
you shook your head, pressing a kiss to aaron’s forehead before you went out of the room.
-
when you went downstairs with lola in your arms, you were greeted by the smell of hot chocolate and a kiss to your cheek.
“you made hot chocolate?” you asked, staring at the mugs full of said drink lined up on the table. “i thought it’d be nice,” aaron shrugged, and you beamed, planting a kiss on his lips as best you could with a baby between you.
aaron grinned at lola, and you put her in his arms, looking back at jack, who stood in front of the decorated tree, staring at the presents underneath it.
“you wanna get started on opening them?” you asked gently, and jack nodded excitedly, “can i?”
“of course,” you responded, pointing to a brightly colored present for him from penelope, “wanna get started with that one?” you suggested, and he nodded, reaching for it.
you got your phone from your pocket, going to sit next to aaron as you fumbled with the camera. “okay, okay, open it!” you urged, recording to send to penelope.
jack tore at the wrapping paper, and you cuddled into aaron when he put an arm around your waist, holding lola with the other.
you gasped at the item jack pulled out from the wrapped box, marvelling at jack’s glowing face. “i love it!” he squealed, and you bit your lip, pointing out other presents for him to open. that was how you spent the rest of the morning, taking videos of jack opening presents and drinking hot chocolate.
-
in the evening, jack tapped you on the shoulder while you were watching the grinch with him and aaron, asking if you could make cookies with him.
you took a look at lola to your right, sleeping peacefully in the crib derek had built for her, and nodded to jack. “what cookies are we making?”
jack had decided on sugar cookies, his favorite, and you had agreed, telling him to get everything he needed together.
the kitchen was clean thanks to aaron, who had been taking care of any and all of the cleaning since lola was born, so the only things on the counter were the things jack had thrown on.
“alright, what’s first?”
“flour,” jack responded, standing on the tips of his toes to reach the bag of four on the counter. pushing it towards you, you got started with the mix, requesting help from jack to mix the ingredients together. you were getting massaging one half of the dough with your hands, the other in jack’s, when hands wrapped around your waist, making you smile. “hey, darling,” you greeted softly, continuing to concentrate on the dough. “hey, beautiful. how are the cookies going?”
“oh, you conveniently came just in time, we’re almost done,” you teased, passing jack some cookie molds. “which ones should we do, bug?”
“can we do hearts and bears?” jack asked, grabbing some shapes and showing them to you. “we can do whichever ones you want.”
you turned to aaron, “wanna help?”
“of course.” he responded, grabbing molds from the bucket in front of you and rolling out the dough.
you laughed when you looked at him struggling with the dough, an annoyed look on his face as he tried to scrape off cookie dough with the cookie dough on his other hand.
“here,” you offered, covering your hands with flour and spreading some over his, removing the dough from his hands gently.
he thanked you with a kiss, at which jack ewed loudly.
you laughed and turned back around, pressing at the dough and purposefully ignoring jack as he shoveled raw cookie dough into his mouth. after he “snuck” a small ball of the dough for the third time, you tutted at him, “no raw cookie dough, bug, it’s bad for you.” you informed, sneaking some of the aforementioned food in between your teeth.
after you all were done making the cookies, you popped the trays in the oven, only beginning to clean when aaron began to protest and ushered you to the couch with jack. you sat down again, checking on lola and then pulling jack to your chest, letting him hug your stomach. you pressed a kiss to his head, unpaused the movie and smoothed out his hair as you waited for aaron.
after ten minutes, he sat down to your right, putting an arm around your shoulders, and you tangled the hand not in jack’s hair with aaron’s; leaning your head on his shoulder and watching the movie.
the rest of the day was spent eating cookies, watching holiday movies, and taking pictures of lola and jack.
Request : Hi I was wondering if I can request a hotch fic So I’m still on season 4 ep 6 I’m beginning lol but I thought about that one episode is season 3 with bombing in the car ??? But it happen to Y/N instead of hotch
I had fun writing this one, thank you for the request and I hope you like it ❤️❤️
As you and your squad were splitting up in the face of a possible terrorist attack your boss Hotch caught your arm as you passed him.
“Y/N, can you go with Agent Joyner, I have something else I need to handle.” You nodded your head.
“Of course,” Before shifting gears and going after the agent in question. You caught up to her side at the elevator, “Hotch asked me to go with you, he said he had something he needed to deal with,” You explained and Kate nodded.
----
You were on the street, walking towards the parked black SUV, Joyner was in front of you, talking about the possible location of the next attack. You looked up at her as your fingers flew over your phone, sending a text to Garcia. Joyner said your name and you looked up to respond and suddenly she was falling away from you, or maybe you were flying backward. You hit the ground with a dull thud and everything went black.
----
Garcia watched her phone as the bubble next to your name continued to signal you were typing. It continued, yet no messages were going through.
“There was an explosion,” the detective Garcia was working with informed her panicked, “A black SUV,” Garcia’s stomach dropped.
“Where!!! Pull it up!!” She practically shrieked, watching as your bubble continued, still no messages. She hit the phone symbol next to your name and held her phone to her ear. “Please pick up please pick up please pick up.” Nothing. Garcia dialed Hotch’s number next. If you were hurt he needed to know. She listened to it ring once before Hotch answered.
“Garcia?”
“A Black SVU blew up, Y/N isn’t answering her phone, we’re trying to pull the footage up now but it’s all over the news, oh my god Hotch, Y/N-” Hotch cut her off.
“Garcia. Find the video, send me the location now.”
“Yes sir,” with that he hung up, pulling a hard U-turn and flipping his lights on before peeling off back in the direction he left you, his heart in his throat. He did this to you, he asked you to go with Joyner. Hotch cursed out loud to himself and slammed an open hand onto his steering wheel. You had to be okay.
----
When you opened your eyes the world was spinning and everything was blurry. You felt like you were underwater and you briefly wondered to yourself ‘am I drowning?’. The ringing in your ear made your head hurt but you still managed to bring yourself to a sitting position, looking around. In front of you the SUV you had been walking towards was up in flames. You pressed a hand to your face and it came away bloody. You struggled to your feet staggering slightly, the only thing you could hear was that insistent ringing, and all you could see was the fire.
“Joyner.” You whispered to yourself, going towards the car, someone grabbed you, and you jerked yourself away. You hadn’t even noticed them approaching. They were saying something to you and you shook your head. “There is an FBI agent in there!” The ringing was either dulling or your brain was getting used to it but some of the fog was lifting and turning into panic. The fire must have reached the gas tank before there was an eruption of fire from the car that almost knocked you back.
“Y/N!” The voice came from your right, not the car being incinerated in front of you. Your head snapped and you saw the other agent laying on the cement some feet away. You rushed to her, falling to your knees in front of her.
“Kate, you’re okay, you’re okay.” You assured her but you didn’t… you weren’t sure.
“Y/N,” She repeated grasping you with a weak hand. You turned to the young man who was hovering beside you with wide eyes.
“Please call 911, tell them an FBI agent has been hurt.” He nodded and took a few steps away to dial his phone and make the call, you went back to Joyner. “I need to get my hand under you, I need to stop your bleeding, okay?”
----
Garcia replayed the video again and again watching your body hurdle through the air and land on the ground. She watched as you got up after a minute, staggering towards the car and then off-screen. You were alive.
----
Garcia sent Hotch the exact address of the explosion, and then a follow-up text confirming it was you and agent Joyner who were hurt, but you were alive. That only made Hotch feel a small margin better.
He made it to the scene in record time, getting out of the car and rushing forward towards the barricades that have been set up. Far down the street he could make out two figures and a mass laying on the ground. He kept pushing forward even more determined.
“Hotch!” He was intercepted by Morgan, who grabbed him by the shoulders, “You can’t go down there, remember? The first responders are the target.”
“I’m not a first responder,” He practically growled, “It’ll be a waste of a bomb.” He pulled away from Morgan pushing forward again. Someone else tried to stop him but he snapped “I am SSA Aaron Hotchner and that is /my/ agent down there.” The man looked at him for a moment before stepping aside and letting him past.
----
“Help!” You screamed, throat sore. Everything was sore, you could faintly hear your heart pounding a steady bass to the high pitched ringing that was still rocking your head. “Please!! We need help! I have an FBI agent down! Please!” You begged, holding your hand as tightly as you could to Joyner’s wound. Finally, a figure broke through the barrier and came towards you in a sprint. As the person got closer you recognized your boss running towards you and for the first time you felt a tiny bit of relief.
“Hotch,” You choked out as he reached you. He dropped down beside you, eyes blown wide in panic.
“Are you hurt, y/n?” He asked eyes scanning your face and then down your body looking for any injury. You shook your head, it didn’t matter right now.
“She’s bleeding bad,” You whispered and Hotch looked like he wanted to keep checking on you, but you both knew that you could wait. She couldn’t.
“Yes, okay we need to move her,” Hotch moved so his hands were under her arms, he looked at the young man who had been helping you, “Can you try and lift her legs? Y/N, try and maintain pressure on the wound. Kate, Kate.” He got her attention, “You’re going to be alright.” The men lifted her and you attempted to keep pressure but it was too much, blood seeped through your fingers at an alarming speed.
“Stop! Stop!” Everyone stopped, “It’s not going to work.” You stared up at Hotch, eyes wide with fear.
----
Hotch looked down at you. You were bloody and bruised, lip busted open and eyes red either from pain or from crying or possibly both. You were scared he could see it clear as day in your eyes, but the problem was he was too and the usually stoic man was having trouble hiding it.
Hotch knelt down again grabbing your arms and making you look at him full on.
“Y/N, It’s going to be okay.” He did his best to state it, without question in his inflection. You nodded slightly but you didn’t seem convinced. He wanted to take you in his arms and protect you, “This is my fault.” He didn’t mean to say it out loud but suddenly it was there, you looked shocked so he finished, “I asked you to go with Joyner. I sent you.” You shook your head and Hotch watched your eyes well with tears before you blinked them away.
“No,” Your voice was firm but your eyes were soft. “Don’t do that, Aaron, don’t do that to yourself. It could have been any car. Anyone.” He wished he could believe that but he didn’t argue. He wished it was him. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he grabbed it quickly answering.
“Hello?”
“Hotch,” It was Garcia, she sounded worried.
“What?”
“It’s him! The guy who was helping, he put the bomb there, and then he watched it blow up!” Hotch’s body completely stiffened. You had been alone with him this entire time. His blood boiled.
“You’re sure?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“Thank you, Garcia.”
“Yes, sir.” He hung up and put his phone away slowly, looking over your shoulder at the man who had helped you. He had taken a few steps away but he watched as Hotch looked at him.
“It’s him,” Hotch said.
“What?” Your head swiveled and just like that the man was off and Hotch was on his feet running after him.
----
Morgan watched as the figure he knew as the good samaritan ran and the figure he knew as Hotch got up and chased after him.
“They’re running,” The cop beside him pointed out and Morgan cursed.
“I’m going down there.”
“No- you said we can’t!” Morgan didn’t listen, he took off at a jog down the street towards where you were still hovering over agent Joyner.
“Does anyone in the FBI listen?” The cop yelled after him but it didn’t matter.
----
You watched as Morgan ran up to you, hands still on Joyner’s open back wound. She was starting to slip and if you didn’t do something very soon she was going to die.
“What’s going on?” Morgan asked.
“He was the bomber,” You told him, “We need to do something, now.”
“Am I going to die?” Kate asked from below you, “It’s okay, I just want to know.” You shook your head pressing harder.
“I’ve got you, Kate.” You promised her. Just then, an ambulance came from the opposite direction of the barricade and you almost sobbed with relief. It pulled up to you and someone jumped out.
“I couldn’t sit and watch any longer,” That was all you needed.
“She’s lost a lot of blood,” You moved away so the EMT could take over, Morgan helped him get her onto a bed and into the ambulance.
“You stay with her, I’ll drive,” Morgan ordered before turning to you.
“Go to the barricade, there are EMTs there, go.”
“I’m coming,” Morgan shook his head already getting into the front of the ambulance.
“Y/N, go.” And with that he was off and you and the ringing in your ears were the only things left on the street. You turned as if in slow motion as the adrenaline that had been coursing through you began to dissipate. You began to walk in the direction of the lights and people standing at the other end of the street.
----
The first thing you noticed was that your ears were still ringing, then the headache really set in. You cracked an eye open and groaned at the light.
“You’re awake,”
“Close the curtain.” There was movement and then the light was cut in half. It was enough for you to get your eyes open. Hotch was sitting at the edge of the seat beside the hospital bed you were in. You touched your head and felt the bandages over your ears.
“Concussion,” He told you, “And a ruptured eardrum.” You sat yourself up slightly in bed even though most of your muscles were still screaming.
“Joyner?” You asked. Hotch’s face told you all you needed to know and you fell back into the bed again, eyes to the ceiling.
“Y/N,” His voice was gentle, but you didn’t want to hear whatever wise words he had to offer you. “You did everything you could.” He assured, reaching his hand out hesitantly to grab yours. You looked down at it, and it didn’t seem real. Your hand looked paler, bruised where the IV was. But his hand was so warm around yours, comforting. You squeezed his hand hard, letting a few tears drop onto the cheap hospital blanket.
“I could have lost you.” He whispered, you almost didn’t hear him. “I don’t know what I would have done. You could have been blown backward and cracked your head open. I keep watching that video. You don’t move for almost a minute, 57 seconds. I counted.” His words were coming out in a rush. You were shocked by the confession but you let him continue uninterrupted. “I memorized every second I thought you were dead,” were his eyes wet? His hand tightened around yours, “I never want to feel like that again.”
“Aaron,” You whispered and he looked at you with a sad smile.
“You could have died without me ever getting the chance to tell you I love you.” This was the second hardest impact you had experienced in the last 48 hours.
“What?” Aaron brought the hand he was holding to his lips and kissed it with closed eyes.
“ I love you, it took me a long time to admit it to myself, and even longer to admit it to you, but I love you Y/N and it’s alright if you don’t feel the same. But I needed you to know.” You smiled. It was your turn to pull his hand to your chapped lips, kissing the back of it.
For @yes-sir-hotchner who requested : I was thinking maybe Hotch (from cm) and reader are childhood best friends and it’s kinda like a love triangle (where reader likes Hotch) and at some point reader says “you weren’t there! I spent the most awful years of my life without my best friend” and she breaks down crying bc of all the bad things that have happened to her. Sorry if it’s so long and all over the place I just think it’s be so cool for someone else to write something I wanna reader idk but tysm if you do it and please tag me
You fidgeted nervously with the visitor badge clipped to your sweater. You’d just gotten back to Virginia that week after spending several years living out on the West Coast. The elevator you were on dinged and you stepped out, suddenly on the edge of a very busy room. People were walking in all directions, some on phones, some with stacks of paper but everyone looked like they were in a rush.
“Hey, can I help you? You look lost.” A woman appeared in front of you and you couldn’t help but smile slightly. She had her hair all done up and her makeup was flawless. Her dress was colorful and had polka dots and she was wearing an eccentric pair of glasses.
“I’m looking for Aar-Agent Hotchner’s office?” She nodded and smiled genuinely, pointing towards the other end of the room, you followed her hand.
“Right up there, it says his name right next to the door.” You thanked her and nervously made your way to the door. You hadn’t seen Aaron since you left. You’d been unable to make Haley’s funeral and it was still something you regretted immensely, even if you did send flowers, you knew it wasn’t enough. You reached the door and read the title, “SSA Aaron Hotchner” you remembered when he was still a prosecutor. Hell, you remember him long before that. With a deep breath you knocked.
“Come in,” A familiar voice called and it felt like coming home. ‘No.’ you had to tell yourself. Too much had happened, and while the voice still belonged to the man you knew and loved, you knew once you opened that door the memory would be gone and replaced with a new reality. So you breathed in deep and opened the door. Aaron looked at you from behind his desk, pen in hand. “Can I help you?” He didn’t recognize you, but he looked practically the same just older.
“Hey Aar,” you didn’t mean to whisper the old nickname but you did and he looked at you with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, before suddenly you got to watch realization dawn on his face.
“Y/N?” It wasn’t often you got to see Aaron in full shock.
“In the flesh,” you joked. He got up from behind his desk and came to you, eyes still wide and mouth slightly opened.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, stopping just in front of you, eyes scanning up and down as you took in the sight of his old friend. You shrugged slightly, crossing your arms over your chest nervously.
“I’m back in Virgina, you changed your cell phone number. I knew you still worked for the FBI and I wanted to.. Get ahold of you.” You explained. That was what had hurt the most. When you found out your job was moving you back East and you tried to call to tell him you were met with a disconnected number message. He never contacted you with a new one. Just like that he was gone, and you weren’t going to let that happen again. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.
“Y/N, I’m-” Someone opened his office door, a pretty young blonde woman, she glanced at you then looked at Hotch.
“We need to go. I’m briefing everyone on the plane.” Hotch nodded and turned to you.
“I’m sorry,” You weren’t sure if he was finishing his last apology or giving you a brand new one. You nodded your head and shrugged smiling slightly.
“It’s okay.” Aaron went to his desk and grabbed something before scribbling something on it and coming back to you. He handed you a business card and you turned it over to see a cell phone number.
“Call me, I promise you we will catch up when I get back.” You nodded and pocketed the card.
“Sure.” And with that you watched him walk away, another familiar sight.
---
You entered the coffee shop and looked around, spotting Aaron towards the back of the shop, back to the wall and two mugs on the table. You approached, giving him a half smile.
“Hey,” He greeted, gesturing for you to sit, “I hope peppermint tea is still your favorite.” That shouldn’t have upset you as much as it did. You sat down and stared at the steaming mug. Of course it was still your favorite, but how dare he do that? How dare he just so casually remember such a small detail from your past when he couldn’t even remember to pick up the phone and call. “Are you alright?” He asked and you looked up, eyes slightly glistened.
“I’m fine Aaron. Now I am.” You hadn’t intended to start off like this immediately, you did want to catch up a bit before easing into the confrontation that was well over do. He frowned.
“What does that mean?” you laughed slightly, shaking your head.
“You know what? This was a bad idea.” You went to grab your purse but Aaron grabbed your wrist instead.
“Dont.” He shook his head, “Don’t do that, Y/N. You always do this, sit down and talk.”
“I always do this?” You asked and he winced slightly, realizing maybe that wasn’t the right choice of words. “You don’t know what I always do, you haven’t seen me, spoken to me in years!” You were trying hard to keep your voice down in the public venue you had mistakenly agreed to.
“You left,” He reminded you, leaning forward slightly and keeping his own voice down, “You chose to do that.” You pointed at him, jabbing your finger slightly.
“You know why I did that. I lost you as a friend long before that.” Aaron groaned and leaned back.
“No you didn’t,”
“Yes I did Aaron! Haley never liked me and you know that! I was your best friend and she didn’t appreciate it.” You were visibly upset, someone at a nearby table looked at you and you made a face back at them. Aaron tisked at you, god he wasn’t always this boring. “You-You knew I loved you. So did she, but I knew you loved her. We were okay as friends, but you took her side and you deserted me.”
“Y/N-”
“Shut up for once and let me talk, you asked me, let me answer you,” You took a steadying breath, “You promised you would always be there and that we would always be friends and you broke that promise. You weren’t there, Aaron! I spent the most awful years of my life without my best friend. And I couldn’t even reach out. And then I move back, and I went to call you to talk to you. To get some closure for myself and you’ve changed your number, no word to me. Do you know how that feels?” You asked, and he just looked back at you. “Thanks for the tea.” You grabbed your purse and stood up.
“Y/N,” You didn’t turn to look at him, instead you walked quickly towards the door. When you got outside you made a left and began your not too long walk home, not turning around once. “Y/N,” He called again, jogging to catch up to you.
“Leave me alone, I said what I wanted to say,” You continued to walk quickly but he easily met your stride.
“I didn’t to reply.”
“I don’t want to hear it,”
“That’s not fair”
“Tough shit Aaron,” He laughed and you finally stopped walking, turning on him, finger pointed at his chest, “Don’t you DARE laugh!” You yelled, and he stepped back hands up.
“I’m sorry, I know it’s not funny I just… I missed you, even this part of you.” You glared at him. He tried to step towards you and you stepped back still glaring. “You’ve always been passionate. Fiery.”
“Stop! You have no right to tell you you’ve missed me or that I’m passionate, you have no right to remember my favorite drink or anything, you’re not my friend Aaron, I don’t even know you.” He nodded his head.
“Alright. You’re right. Okay? You’re right, you’re right Y/N.”
“Fuck off,” You turned and started to walk again. Maybe you’ll get a cab just to get away from him. He followed again.
“I’m being serious! You are right! You know how many times I wanted to call you but I couldn’t because of my own guilt? I knew I hurt you, alright? I knew you loved me, and I did-did love Haley. But that didn’t mean I didn’t care any less about you and it was hard, but we were married. And I felt guilty, alright? I felt guilty telling Haley there was nothing to worry about when I knew that was partially a lie. I would never cheat on her but every time I looked at you I felt like I was, emotionally at least.” You stopped again, but didn’t turn to him this time. “I thought I was doing what was best for you and me and Haley. I couldn’t continue how it was and I am so sorry Y/N, that I did that to you. Please look at me.” You looked over at him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked. He shook his head.
“I couldn’t. I wanted to and I should but I couldn’t bring myself to. And I regretted it, but then you left and I thought maybe I really did do the right thing. You were leaving to live a wonderful successful life.”
“I was running away.” you admitted and he nodded.
“I know that now and I am sorry. I’m going to make it up to you I promise.” You shook your head.
“I don’t need you to make it up to me, Aaron. I need.. your friendship in my life and I need you to do better this time.”
“I will.” He nodded, “I will. Do you…” He trailed off and you waited, “Would you like to meet my son?” You smiled slightly and nodded your head.
