Do you ever think that maybe Andrew doesn’t want things because everyone in his youth that “wanted” only wanted in a way that was awful.
Drake “wanted” him. “Wanted” a matched set. He was a pedophile and his want was awful and gross and Andrew lives with the ghostly hands in places he begged them not to go.
Tilda “wanted” Aaron. She chose to keep a son and she beat him. She laid hands on him, even on the one she wanted. She was an abuser and Aaron still wanted her love.
Luther “wanted” the perfect family. Except that “perfect” means straight. Perfect means sending Nicky to get “fixed”. And still Nicky wanted his parents’ approval and love.
Andrew is so afraid of what want causes people to do. I think he has seen the “everything I’ve ever let go has had claw marks on it” in the claw marks left in him and has decided that the very act of even holding on was too dangerous to be worth it.