I had Jensen and Jensen had me

kiri. 30. disaster. previously sunflowersammy, pharaohsaibou, & etherealsammy. icon made by @heavenlysams. everyday is halloween. AO3 account. dean winchester is straight. top!dean/jensen and bottom!sam/jared. anti misha and castiel. i am not a tinhat. however, if j2 miraculously come out after the series, i have nothing but love and support for them. fans that tweet hate @ the actors or their wives aren't fans at all. genneel (◕‿◕✿) i will not write destiel, sabriel, or samifer. my wincest fics are tagged 'kiri wincest'. tags for all other fics. click III for all my other links.

[touchstarvedsam]

Okay. It's been long enough.

I'm pretty much done with this fandom, this fandom is pretty much done with me. It's time to move on. (I say that as if I haven't neglected this blog for months, lmao).

In my inactivity I've had nasty anons attack me for older posts but not even mention what post they're even talking about so at this point they're anonymous messaging a brick wall. I don't care. I am so far removed I've disassociated myself completely from this drama shit. I'm over it.

I still have my Twitter, which, if you don't have it and want it, message me and I will share it. I won't share it publicly because fuck that. But mostly I am in limbo between spn hell and lron Man worship over there. I won't join the Marvel fandom because I've had enough crazy with spn over the years, but I have been nonstop reading fanfic. I've even created a new AO3 for when I inevitably start writing fanfics for that pairing.

I won't delete this blog and I won't delete my hitokiri AO3, nor will I orphan my works (unless I get desperate and want to forget who I ever was). I'm just done with this fandom, and the fact that whiny kids are still crying A WHOLE YEAR LATER because they're butthurt over the finale of a show they only got into months, give or take a year or two, before the finale even aired.

The constant hate for Jared and Genevieve really set me off, which led me to soft blocking and hard blocking mutuals on Twitter because the negativity and blatant sexism and disregard for a living, breathing human being didn't matter in the face of their fake ship. I am talking about two different kind of shippers here, not just the hellers. You know who you are.

So I'm now just. Living, I guess. I work a lot. I don't sleep a lot. I don't eat enough. I rarely see my friends. I cope with trauma by reading T rated fanfics that provide comfort in the wake of the shitty world we live in. What else can I do? This fandom has been bullshit for a long time. Do I regret joining it? No. Do I regret making the wonderful friends I've made over the years? No. But there must come a time when too much is actually too much, and we have reached the appointed hour.

I will miss you guys. I will still be around for messaging, or on Twitter, but posting and lurking the dash has been long gone.

Thanks for putting up with me! Bye!!

[qprbros]

"dean, when this is all over. you're going to have to let me go my own way."

"but don't you think maybe it's time we bury sam?"

[touchstarvedsam]

LOL That anon seems to be doing the rounds, got that question too, despite me not shipping wincest. It's gonna be fun to answer and wipe the floor with them. So anon, if you are stalking Kiri's blog, as I'm sure you are, stay tuned to my reply. Kiri, keep on owning!

Honestly, anyone that doesn't ship destieI automatically ships wincest apparently ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ they need to find something else to do. I don't understand their insane hivemind that can't grasp anything that any of us says to them. They're deliberately being obtuse because I refuse to believe anyone is that dumb or oblivious. Looking forward to reading your answer!!

[touchstarvedsam]

Bunny!Sammy says Happy Easter. 🐇🐣

[touchstarvedsam]

If you can't tell that Dean is straight in the show, then you read more fanfiction than you paid attention to the show and you mistook what you read in a fanfic as canon. That's your problem, that's your inability to differentiate. I can enjoy the fanfiction I read and still understand that it's fanfiction; I know it didn't happen in the show because I actually watched the show. Did you?

[touchstarvedsam]

You still haven’t answered my question sweetie. Why do you say that Dean is straight when you ship him with his brother?

Don't call me sweetie.

I actually did answer your question, you just have no life, holy shit. CANON Dean is straight. But even the Dean I ship Sam with, the FANON Dean, I don't consider bisexual. Sam is Dean's only exception. Do you need that in the Spanish dub for you to understand?

The character Dean Winchester is straight, the fanfiction version of Dean is whatever you want him to be. For fuck's sake, find a better activity than bothering wincest shippers.

[touchstarvedsam]

You do realize that Wincest is also fannon, right?

I never said it was canon. No one is claiming wincest is canon. What is the disconnect here? Platonic wincest is canon, since Sam and Dean are canonically soulmates, but like I said previously, Dean is straight. Did you miss that part? Dean is only interested in women.

What do my fanfiction preferences have to do with anything? I ship wincest but I understand the difference between canon and fanon. Dean is straight in canon but he can be whatever you want him to be in fanfiction. Sexual and romantic wincest is only in fanfiction, but platonic wincest is canon. DestieI is only in fanfiction. There is no Dean Winchester in any universe that would choose Cas over Sam; only the fanfiction version.

How come you people seem to have trouble understanding that? You just can't seem to grasp any of that? That fanfiction has nothing to do with the show's canon? Asking for a friend. Seriously, learn the difference, your fandom experience will be a lot easier.

Canon: official source material

Fanon: fan-created ideas for fanfiction

Why is that so hard to understand? None of the fanon relationships we ship Dean in are canon because Dean is straight. Stop asking stupid questions.

[touchstarvedsam]

I hope I didn't overstep when I sent that ask to you in response to your post...please don't feel the need to post it or this one, I just couldn't not say anything *huggle*

I didn't want to leave you hanging so I am answering this one, nonnie. I wanted to say I appreciate your message and I'm keeping it in my ask box because it made me feel better. I just needed to get that out, to put it somewhere. I wasn't looking for comfort. It just needed to be said for my own peace of mind. So. Thanks for caring. I appreciate it. I have since deleted the post because, well, I didn't want it out there for too long.

Thanks, nonnie. 💕

[touchstarvedsam]

If you think Dean is straight then why do you ship him with Sam? Wouldn’t that make him gay or bi? Explain that please.

Are you this anon too? Because funny how I answered this on March 4th, and here I am exactly a month later on April 4th answering the same question.

Do hellers and all other idiots that think Dean is bisexual share the same idiot brain? That none of you, and I do mean NONE of you, can grasp the difference between CANON and FANON?

Canon Dean Winchester is straight. Fanon Dean Winchester can fuck whoever you want him to because it's fanon. The Dean Winchester in the hit CW show Supernatural is only interested in women sexually, romantically, and emotionally. In your fanfiction that you read and write, he can be interested in whoever the hell you want. But the show canon is what is canon.

CANON DEAN WINCHESTER IS A STRAIGHT MAN.

Get over yourself. If you can't understand the distinct difference between the TV show's canon and what you read in fanfiction, you might not be old enough to consume the media with which you are into. Find a new hobby.

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags: the fandom for which you read your first-ever fanfic, and which website you found it on.

[samweechester-blog]

[dreamcard]

Sakura Kinomoto in CCS: Clear Card Arc - Ep. 5 ↪ Sakura Feels a Pull at the Flower Viewing  「さくらとお花見ひっぱりだこ」

[touchstarvedsam]

Sam Winchester hyped on demon blood seducing the devil, breaking his neck, and assuming the throne as Boy King of Hell:

[touchstarvedsam]

I'm sorry the human race sucks.

It's totally okay! I have great friends on here. We got a great ending to our show which really felt like it paid off after fifteen years. We always win because we're truly fans of the Winchesters. I am unbothered because canon was always on our side and no amount of whining from the other side of the fandom will change that. 🤩

[touchstarvedsam]

I don't think they're even getting hate. I think they just don't want their name smeared.

[touchstarvedsam]

So could you please take down those posts about LoveliestSkeleton? I want to be civil about this but my partner is getting major hate because of your posts and already took down the comments made to you, so I wanted to see if you'd take them down.

Oh, your partner who STARTED it is getting major hate? That's what they get for 1. attacking me on Twitter, and then 2. attacking me on AO3. Honestly, that's what they deserve. There is no reason whatsoever to attack people's fan works. There is no reason to attack anybody for anything unless otherwise antagonized.

I don't care if you hate proshippers, I don't care if you hate incest shippers, it is up to YOU to monitor what you see online. There is no goddamn reason to attack somebody unless they, say, start posting incest ships in your non-incest ship tag forcing you to see it, like the destieI shippers who love to post their destieI shit in the main tags for everyone to see. Or the Jared haters who LOVE to post their Jared hate in the Jared Padalecki tag. We properly tag our anti shit. But your partner started shit for no reason.

I tweeted this:

And your wonderful, amazing, kind partner responded with this:

And then they proceeded to go onto my fanfic and comment that I need therapy, and be rude for no fucking reason whatsoever.

So they proved that they are the kind of person I talked about in my tweet. Invalidating my being queer because I ship Sam and Dean? I don't invalidate anyone or attack anyone directly for the insanely queerphobic shit you hellers say. I tag my shit correctly.

Not shipping destieI does not make someone homophobic. It doesn't take away from someone being queer. DestieI is not canon. It is fanon. Dean Winchester is straight. That is canon. It's one thing to hate a fanon queer ship, but it's a whole other thing to hate a canon queer ship. DestieI, only being fanon, means that nobody HAS to ship it and the majority DON'T. Me not liking your ship does not mean you should like it any less, just like how you not liking my ship doesn't make me like it any less. We are all capable to judge for ourselves what we want to or don't want to see. You control your own experience.

This is a fandom, people agree and disagree on everything, but the one thing that, regardless whether or not you like it, your ship is not canon romantically or sexually. Wincest is not canon romantically or sexually either, but the canon is that Sam is Dean's most important person and nothing will ever change that. If you deny that, that's your right, but you need to realize that the Dean you think would choose Cas over Sam? That's the Dean you made up in your head, the Dean only in fanfiction.

Hate in fandom spaces is not welcome. We are supposed to feel safe and protected in fandom, but the hatred coming directly from your side of the fandom has gotten worse and worse over the past year. If you all would just stay in your lane and block the content you don't want to see like the rest of us do (I can't tell you how many different renditions of DeanC*s, DestieI, etc are on my filter list because there is too many, and I STILL see it somehow). I'm not saying that my side of the fandom doesn't sometimes step out of line, but for the most part, we take screenshots of instigators and properly post in the anti tags, but hellers lurk on wincest blogs and the anti tags and reblog posts that were properly tagged in the first place to PURPOSELY start shit. I block people like that, like your partner, ON SIGHT. When they tweeted that to me, I blocked them.

So even though it was your partner that was 100% in the wrong, I'm actually NOT a terrible human being and I will take my posts down. Honestly, I deserve an apology from them for antagonizing me, but I doubt they have that in them. Besides that, AO3 took the comments down because I reported them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyway, I doubt you will even read this because every single heller I've come across has always responded with "I ain't reading all that." So.

[touchstarvedsam]

"It's directed at a paid Cameo so really I don't mind."

This heller is... so close to getting it. But nah. Mischa validates Megstiel it's okay because it's a "paid Cameo" but if he validates DestieI on the same platform, which he is also paid to do, it's canon. Got it.

The dumb just gets worse and worse.

It's the same principle as hellers ignoring Jensen saying for YEARS that DestieI doesn't exist, that it isn't happening, that Dean is straight, but then turning around and saying DestieI is canon because Mischa advocates for it. Sorry, but if you're going to ignore one actor, why listen to the other? Oh yeah, because it's about your ship. 🙄