How it really ended
“So can I have a hug?” He said She stared at him. “A fist bump? A hand shake?“he rattled on.
She didn’t want to give him a hug because she felt sad. It felt like a final goodbye and she had to finally face the last time. It never felt like the last time with him. Half of those goodbyes she wanted them to be final while they others felt like there would always be a next time. No matter how many times she prepared for a goodbye she was never ready.
She should have been. She should have been angry because as nice as she was … she never accused him of using her. He did. He emotionally abused her and used her and he didn’t care about what she would feel like. He didn’t think she mattered because she isn’t what he wanted…How do you just take advantage of someone’s feelings and not feel anything? He could continue walking this earth not giving a damn about how she felt and only how sad he felt about another girl that was doing the exact thing he was doing to her and that’s what made him undeserving of her. It also made him look like a sociopath .
Maybe it was the hopeless romantic in her. The kind of result where the universe came full circle. She always thought that in the end it would be him and her. She got up from the bench and gave in and gave him a hug. She felt like the only reason why he even spoke to her was because she made him. “Have a safe flight and travel on the way home” he said. She said thanks to be polite as she walked to her car. She kept looking to see if he would look back. If he would even stop. She got into her car and continued to look until he got back into his apartment.
He didn’t and that’s when it all hit her and the tears started to form. She drove back to her hotel room in silence. No music until she got to the stop light and called her brother. He picked up instantly.
“Hey, what’s up?” He said
“How did you feel when you finally said goodbye to Rachel?” She said choked up. He started to yell at her for doing what she did.
“He used you! How can you not see that? Some people don’t care if they hurt you. They think it’s normal and keep moving forward with their own life as if nothing happened. No feelings of remorse at all and unfortunately you just have to accept it.“ He said
. “ He cared if I was alive and wanted the best for me. He listened to me as if he cared about my story only to put me through the same ending again. ” she said.
“Are you finally done ripping your own heart out?“He said
“Yeah. He will never care the way I do for him. It doesn’t make it hurt any less though.” She said
“Good now come home and as for this piece of garbage that dragged you along for years.... just let him go. You need to stop feeling like you weren’t enough for him, you were worth more than enough.” He said
“Yeah..for the first time I feel that way.“she said.
For the first time in two years she finally felt like she was enough with or without him. She didn’t know much about the future ahead. She didn’t know if she would feel this way forever. It sure felt like it. She didn’t know what this would ever feel like… to be whole heartily destroyed and together at the same time but when the storm finally calm there will be nothing but clear sky. -alurso
