#howlsweep

[flareguncalamity]

people in the poor little meow meow threads are all like “ohhhh howl is hot ohhhh he lives in a castle ohhhh he has powers he’s not a poor little meow meow” EXCUSE ME. his english major ass mullet having ass does NOT have his life together. i mean god for starters his castle isn’t even fucking real and it’s powered by a cursed demon he gave his whole ass HUMAN HEART to. he turns into a puddle of slime when he fucks up his hair dye by accident. his house is so nasty and be-spidered that he has to pay his fucking girlfriend to clean it. this man owns two cups. He’s in his twenties. in the book he catches something called a “forever cold” and then simply has a cold for the rest of the book. and then sophie throws weed killer in his face the first time he tries to confess his feelings. he is scared of his ex girlfriend who wants to chop his head off and turn him into a frankenstein and instead of doing anything about it he “””””””hides””””” in a giant castle and sulks on the floor. in the movie he is literally slowly turning into a bird. hello? he gets a forever cold. he spends the whole book with a forever cold. he’s not a poor little meow meow? he has a fucking forever cold. look at him. A Forever Cold.

[born-to-strange-sights]

Please vote for howl. god

[clottedscream]

howl may be a very sad very pathetic little meow meow, but i think you should consider voting for harrier ''I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore" du bois. He's been having the same dream about his ex-wife 3 times a week since she dumped him, part of his 6 year nervous breakdown over said dumping, culminating in him having so much alcohol and meth he forgets everything. It's going to take him 20 more years to get over said ex (who he can only visualize as war criminal jesus now). He can die from: reading a nice letter from said ex, being made fun of by a kid, trying and failing to punch a kid, uncomfortable chair. Lives in the saddest shack. One of the first things he say to another human being in game is "I want to have fuck with you". Harry calls himself Tequila Sunset — the in universe expression for drinking yourself to death. He's an ex-gym teacher, and french. (this message is sponsored by Harrier Sweep 2023)

anon: hey this person made a post passionately defending the character they like

anon: i should spam their inbox with multiple asks telling them why they’re wrong to defend the character they like and why they should instead like my character, Pisspants McFuckfreak, who is better