Jul 4, 2022
Horatio: So... can I ask about the skull in your room?
Hamlet: Sure, which one?
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Horatio: So... can I ask about the skull in your room?
Hamlet: Sure, which one?
Hamlet: I must be cruel only to be kind.
Gertrude: Hamlet, you just MURDERED A MAN.
Hamlet: Sometimes, I scare myself with my ambition.
Imagine this:
I plan and write a remarkable speech and submit it to TEDTalk. They accept. I even make a slideshow to go along with this inspirational presentation. The audience is excited as fuck. What will I say? This took years of preparation. There are cameras everywhere. It’s streaming live! I clear my throat to speak. The audience is on the edge of their seats. I pause for dramatic effect. At last I speak, and I say:
“Hamlet was head-over-heels in love with Horatio.”
I bow. I make my exit.
I will not be invited back, but it was worth it.
Gertrude: So what's your favorite position?
Claudius: Definitely CEO.
Claudius: Monday is my favorite day of the week.
Claudius: Garfield was a fucking bum.
Claudius: I don't believe in donating my money into charity. I believe in donating my money into Tesla stocks.
Horatio: Hey, do you want some gum?
Claudius: No way, I don't believe in handouts, you fucking communist.
Hamlet: I'm gonna slap the fuck out of Claudius.
Polonius: My daughter keeps talking about 'Mitski'.
Polonius: Who is Mitski? Should I know them? I don't know them.
Polonius: And I know I'm gonna get made fun of because I'm an old geezer who doesn't know who Mitski is.
We dont talk enough abt the fact that Horatio knows ALLLLLLLL the gossip in Elsinore
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