#hrfm

[starlitslumbers]

me; i have to turn this paper in by sunday so i should work on it!! me, staring at my door; gelato time....

[gmlrsuryo-blog1]

Thank you @hardrockfmsby atas sambutan meriahnya. Jangan kapok ya sama kita 🙌 #communitysurprise #hrfm (at 89.7 HardRockFM Surabaya)

[bleckheartedangelsandbrokenwings]

To be honest one of the most exhausting things about being a asexual in such a hypersexualised society is that there are literally no outlets. 

We’re not all that welcome in lgb spaces. We can’t talk about it with our friends because not having interest in sex is where they draw the line of understanding.  

On tv, asexuals are all MALE robots void of empathy or understanding of social cues or infantile men who don’t want to grow up. 

Because heaven forbid there are women out there just like all the others who simply don’t enjoy or aren’t interested in having sex in any capacity. 

Magazines are filled with sex tips. 

They never covered this in school, how to deal with or even that it’s okay to NOT want sex. 

When I first learnt about asexuality, and even now the community is full of ‘it’s okay asexuals still have sex when in a relationship, don’t worry’. 

On tumblr we talk about forced heterosexuality, we never really talk about forced sexuality. 

The number of relationships I’ve been in where I under no circumstances wanted to or was interested in sex make my skin crawl to think about. Because you must be broken if you haven’t had sex by the time you’re eighteen, you must be a dud.

And having all the asexual pages, even on tumblr spend so much time reassuring everyone that ‘yes, asexuals have sex too’ is so hurtful. 

I couldn’t put my finger on it until now why it bothered me so much. It was because with the sam breath as they preached assurance that we are not broken, they assured every one else that we aren’t what we are because that’s all that matters, right? Letting every one know that the silly asexuals are only temporarily broken and that if you get into a relationship with one, they’ll be normal again.

Think about what it means to be asexual. Under what circumstance would someone who has no interest in sex say yes to it? I imagine much like me in previous relationships, they were coerced and because of this society in which we’re made to feel guilty for denying our partners sex, it’s only made easier. 

I’ve said for years that if I found myself in a relationship again, I’d want them to have a sexual outlet so I wasn’t depriving the of something.

Because even if no one outright told us to, we’re made to feel guilty for not being open to having sex with our romantic partners because it’s SO important for our comfort to be forfeit for them to have it. 

And because we don’t really have an outlet for it, we internalise and let it stagnate until we start to loathe ourselves for not being “normal”, just like every one told us we weren’t all along. 

[bleckheartedangelsandbrokenwings]

Right, so trans women are just 'fetishizing' womanhood? How about you shut up, and live a YEAR pretending to be a man while KNOWING you're a women, and then fucking TRY to act like you have any idea what trans people are going through. From one WOMEN to a LITTLE GIRL, fuck right off with your transphobic shit. Your blog isn't a 'safe place' for anything. It's a transphobic echo chamber for transphobic little girls who want to scream about teh eval menz.

Fine. Prove to me that I’m wrong. Tell me how you can know you’re a woman when you have only ever seen what it’s like from a skewed and often misogynistic o u t s i d e perspective. Go on, tell me. How do you know that you are a woman? For that matter, what makes you think you can tell me I’m not a woman? I am twenty. I am a woman. An adult human female. I have literally all the qualifiers for womanhood. What qualifiers do you have aside from stereotypes and feelings? 

[andira]

One Liner dari Pandji

Tau Pandji Pragiwaksono kan? Pandji itu orangnya canggih akan teknologi (bukan maksud reus, entar lo juga tau maksud gue apa), dan semua orang berasumsi dia tau beneeerr soal BCA Flazz, berhubung dia bacain adlibsnya tiap hari di GMHR. And I'm quoting few of his lines, goes something like these:

"Gimana sih lo hari gini belom pake Flazz, sten?" "Jangan mau ketinggalan dong" "Belom pake Flazz? gak canggih banget sih lo"

Dengan sangat bangga dia bilang sama gue waktu itu, "Gue dah pake Flazz dooong" Tapi yang terjadi hari ini adalah, jam 16:48 sore tadi, Pandji called me, and asked me a thing, which I considered as a one liner that really made my day. Kalo lo gak ngerti, atau gak tersenyum/tertawa, dan kenapa gue anggep ini penting, ya maap ya. He asked: "Ndir, cara ngisi BCA Flazz gimana si?" a mili second later, I said to him, this one goes in my blog.

[andira]

Pahlawan Siaran Perdana

Hari itu, Senin, 22 Desember 2008. Jam 4.15 gue berangkat adari rumah menuju Sarinah untuk siaran perdana di Hardrock FM Jakarta. Maksud gue siaran, adalah benar-venar mengeluarkan suara dab memainkan lagu (kemarin-sudah sempat mixing, tapi belom ngomong). Siarannya sih cuma sejam. 5 cut plus opening dan closing. I survived my first day.Still a bit rough around the edges, but I'm fine. Kenapa gue merasa harus menandai hari ini dengan postingan? Selain karena ini siaran perdana? Alasan yang lebih penting adalah gue mau mengucapkan terima kasih. Kepada kelima orang yang berhasil dipastikan mendengarkan gue siaran perdana dipagi buta, entah itu sengaja atau TIDAK sengaja. Kelima 'pahlawan' gue itu adalah; Ella Mulvi, Snydez, Heriyadi, Nuning, dan Mario Patrick. Terima kasih. Kalo ada yang mendengarkan gue selain nama diatas, berarti kalian menjadi 'pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa' buat gue. Ahh jadi sentimentil. Call me "berlebihan", tapi gue memang sangat berterimakasih.

[andira]

In for the next 3 months

Today, is December 1st 2008. I will keep this date in my life timeline. Lets just say, for now, that I am in for another 3 months. That means 3 reviews, a review every month. Those reviews will eventually, change my life. Better or worse. Alhamdulillah. This proofed, the almighty, He doesn’t hate me. What happened today? I will tell you 3 months from now. Too much drama I know, but then again.. Today, December 1st 2008, is one of those good days. (don’t get to cocky, some days are better than others, vice versa)

[andira]

Last Chance

Today was the final test for Hard Rock FM announcer trainee. I thought I was prepared (with 6 topics to read), and forgetting to prepare the opening and closure. I was 15 minutes to prepare the rundown, and got distracted by the operator, who was changing this and that.  So I put the songs, topics, adlibs, and spot in order. The reviewers came in, both that I know. Put the headphones on, and start mixing. Then things went falling apart. First the recording tape was not recording anything, and the headphones was not cueing well. I would not use that as a reason, but then I forgot to use my proper on-air voice.  So there you go. A chance that hundreds people have always wanted, I blew it in 60 minutes. At least I did not forget to say Bismillah and Alhamdulillah. Well, I just hope that I … beautifully blew it.